67 - Why Blaming Others Keeps You Stuck

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever said, “You made me angry” , and felt completely justified in the moment… only to be left with distance, regret and the sense that your anger is running your life?

In this powerful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs is joined by Jake and Sarah for a deep dive into one of the most important skills in anger management: taking responsibility.

You’ll learn why blaming others for your anger quietly gives away your power, why responsibility can feel so uncomfortable (and even frightening), and how owning your reactions is not weakness, but the single most empowering step you can take to change your relationships.

This episode doesn’t just explain why responsibility matters. It gives you a clear, practical three-step process you can start using immediately to regain control and break long-standing anger patterns.

Key Takeaways:

1. Blaming others for your anger feels natural — but it silently hands away your control.
2. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean excusing others or beating yourself up; it means owning your response.
3. Many people resist responsibility because of fear, family conditioning, entitlement, or shame — not because they’re “bad.”
4. Healthy guilt leads to change; shame keeps you stuck.
5. Real change happens through a clear three-step process:
6. Acknowledge your actions
7. Accept the consequences
8. Create a concrete plan for future change
9. Promises don’t change behaviour — plans and accountability do.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
2. angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle
3. angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System