017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

017: Ask David — Dare to be "average"—The perfectionist's script for self-defeat

David answers a challenging question posed by a listener:

Dear Dr. David:

In your Feeling Good Handbook, you suggest that the reader just allows himself or herself to be an ordinary person instead of trying to be perfect. Contrary to your opinion in the book, you're an outstanding therapist in reality. You've studied in one of the world's top colleges, you're well-educated with a doctor degree, and successful in your career and life. How can I believe your claim? I'm quite confused!

Sincerely, XXX

David first distinguishes perfectionism from the healthy pursuit of excellence, and then describes a painful incident when he was a Stanford medical student. One afternoon, he attended an afternoon Gestalt encounter group at the home of a friend and mentor in Palo Alto. During the group he was ripped to shreds by the other participants. At the end of the group, the other participants seemed elated, but he felt intensely humiliated, ashamed, and discouraged. This led to an unexpected interaction with his mentor that helped to change his life.

David also discusses his clinical work years later with a depressed and anxious professional who had never experienced even one minute of happiness in spite of a life of fabulous success and achievements.

At the end, David and Fabrice promise a future podcast on this topic: "Self-Esteem: What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I've got it?"

Jaksot(512)

403: Raw Emotion: Dad, I let you down! Part 1 of 2

403: Raw Emotion: Dad, I let you down! Part 1 of 2

A Riveting Story of Raw Emotion. . . "Dad, I let you down!" Special Announcement The long awaited Feeling Great App is now available in app stores. IOS and android! Check it out. Take a free ride! ...

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402: Ask David: Unfairness; Erasing Depression with Lasers; TEAM in the UK; Most Powerful Technique

402: Ask David: Unfairness; Erasing Depression with Lasers; TEAM in the UK; Most Powerful Technique

Ask David Unfairness Worthwhileness Erasing Depression with Lasers TEAM in the UK What's the Most Powerful Technique? We have lots of great questions today. The answers in the show notes were written...

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401: Ask David: Bipolar, the Dark Side, Changing Behavior

401: Ask David: Bipolar, the Dark Side, Changing Behavior

Ask David Bipolar, the Dark Side, Changing Behavior We have lots of great questions today. The answers in the show notes were written prior to the podcast, and the answers in the live podcast as we di...

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Celebrating Podcast #400

Celebrating Podcast #400

#400! Yippee! Today, Rhonda has prepared a special celebration for our 400th podcast, and still going strong! She has invited a number of our favorite people and podcast guests to celebrate with us, s...

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399: The Deep Freeze, Part 2 (of 2)

399: The Deep Freeze, Part 2 (of 2)

FROZEN: Part 2 of 2 Featuring Personal Work with Cody Today, you will hear the exciting conclusion of the work that Jill and David did with Cody, a young man who sometimes freezes in social situations...

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398: The Deep Freeze, Part 1 (of 2)

398: The Deep Freeze, Part 1 (of 2)

FROZEN: Part 1 of 2 Featuring Personal Work with Cody In today's, and next week's, podcasts. we present the next episode of live work with Cody. The first, which featured Rejection Practice for social...

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397: Ask David: Assertiveness; Suppressing your Feelings; the "Miracle Cure" question

397: Ask David: Assertiveness; Suppressing your Feelings; the "Miracle Cure" question

Ask David, Rhonda and Matt Assertiveness, Suppressing your Feelings, and the "Miracle Cure" question Questions for today's Ask David podcast. Chris asks if I have a book about assertiveness. Bria...

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396: The Magnificent Summer Intensive Returns!

396: The Magnificent Summer Intensive Returns!

Incredible Voices from the Past! Plus: David's Amazing Summer Intensive Returns August 8 - 11, 2024 Today, David and Rhonda are joined by Dr. Jill Levitt, the Director of Clinical Training at the Feel...

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