The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2693)

Friday, June 30, 2017

Friday, June 30, 2017

As a limited travel ban goes into effect, the Trump administration has defined what constitutes a “bona fide” relationship: who’s close family, and who’s not, for visitors from six predominantly Muslim nations. Guests: Michael D. Shear, White House correspondent for The New York Times, and Suzanne Ramazani, who is planning a wedding and worries that her Iranian relatives won’t be able to attend. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2udDieF. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

30 Jun 201719min

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Thursday, June 29, 2017

The United States says its goal in Syria is to help its allies defeat the Islamic State, not to fight the government. But it’s getting harder stay out of the civil war. Guests: Helene Cooper, the Pentagon correspondent for The New York Times; Jennifer Steinhauer, who covers Congress. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2tdgVBP. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Jun 201720min

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

The Senate vote on the health care bill is off — for now. We focus on Maine, where Senator Susan Collins has been a vocal opponent of the proposal. And what happens to family members who witness police shootings? Guests: Jennifer Steinhauer, who covers Congress; Lee Umphrey, the chief executive of a health center in Maine; Yamiche Alcindor, who covered the shooting of Philando Castile. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uo8uVi. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Jun 201719min

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

On the last day of its term, the Supreme Court said it would take the case about the legality of President Trump’s travel ban. We discuss the path of the travel ban through the lower courts, the key role of two justices in determining the outcome and what this means for refugees. Guests: Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court; Nicholas Kulish, who covers immigration. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2tMr8XN. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Jun 201717min

Monday, June 26, 2017

Monday, June 26, 2017

President Trump’s promise to repeal Obamacare could come down to one issue: abortion. And how the families of people killed by undocumented immigrants have become an emotional cornerstone of another signature issue for the Trump administration. Guests: Sheryl Gay Stolberg, a White House correspondent for The Times; Vivian Yee, who covers immigration for The Times; and Steve Ronnebeck, whose 21-year-old son, Grant, was shot and killed by an illegal immigrant. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2u80Xxf. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Jun 201719min

Friday, June 23, 2017

Friday, June 23, 2017

The secret is out. The Senate has unveiled its health care bill. And after all the waiting, what was promised to be a drastic revamp of the House bill looks a lot like the House bill. Plus: The second in our two-part series on the opioid crisis. Guests: Jennifer Steinhauer, who covers Congress; Nathaniel Popper, a reporter for The Times; Joe Pinjuh, chief of the organized crime task force in the United States attorney’s office in Cleveland; and Josh Lytle, a recovering fentanyl addict who works in East Liverpool, Ohio. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2vbkHgj. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Jun 201723min

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Thursday, June 22, 2017

We replay the dramatic hours at a hotel room in Chicago leading up to Travis Kalanick’s resignation as the chief executive of Uber. Plus: Part I of a two-part series on the opioid crisis ravaging American cities, which has escalated to a whole new level with the spread of a drug 50 times more powerful than heroin. Guests: Mike Isaac, who has been writing about Mr. Kalanick for the last three years; and Nathaniel Popper, who covers finance and technology for The Times. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2sFqeM1. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Jun 201718min

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Former prisoners subjected to “enhanced interrogation” techniques developed after Sept. 11 have filed a lawsuit — not against the C.I.A., which is protected, but against two psychologists. We discuss what has been revealed by the depositions. Guest: Sheri Fink, who has written about the lawsuit. Caitlin Dickerson is our host; Michael Barbaro is on vacation. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2sYeas8. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Jun 201722min

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