I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(524)

A Former Debt Collector's Unpaid Bills

A Former Debt Collector's Unpaid Bills

Angela worked in the collections industry for 15 years. Now, she's banned from the industry for life⁠—and is getting collection calls after falling behind on her own bills.  We're still collecting your stories about the moments where race became a flashpoint in a friendship. Is there a conversation you had that you’re still thinking about? Something you couldn’t work through with a friend? Write us an email or record a quick voice memo and send it to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org  Don't miss our weekly newsletter! Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Nov 201934min

When Breast Cancer Pauses Life At 35

When Breast Cancer Pauses Life At 35

After a breast cancer diagnosis at 35, author Kate Pickert reflects on maintaining normalcy during treatment, why she didn't tell her daughter she was sick, and how she thinks about mortality now. Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, listener letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Okt 201932min

Scattered: The Camp

Scattered: The Camp

In comedian Chris Garcia's new podcast, Scattered, he sets out to uncover the truth about his dad—a man who survived Castro’s labor camps only to lose his way in search of the American dream.  Subscribe to our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Okt 201929min

Saeed Jones Talks About Sex. And Death. And Money.

Saeed Jones Talks About Sex. And Death. And Money.

The writer and poet traces the joy and shame of learning about sex, mourning his mother, and finally feeling financially comfortable. Subscribe to our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Okt 201935min

The Student Loan Nerd Helping Borrowers One Email At A Time

The Student Loan Nerd Helping Borrowers One Email At A Time

Betsy Mayotte knows that the student loan system is overcomplicated⁠—she worked inside of it for 20 years. Now she's tackling borrowers' problems, one email at a time.  Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans. Subscribe to our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Okt 201931min

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 2

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 2

Hundreds of you told us about feeling duped, overwhelmed, and ashamed of your student debt. But we also heard stories about how some of you took back control. Here's how you did it. Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans. This week's newsletter includes updates on some of the people featured in today's episode. Subscribe at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Sep 201929min

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 1

Our Student Loan Secrets, Part 1

More Americans are taking out more student loan debt and taking longer to pay it back. But we don't often talk about the impact that it has on our lives.  Explore more than 4,000 of your stories about student loans, find out where you fit in the student loan landscape and get resources for dealing with your debt at deathsexmoney.org/studentloans. This week's newsletter includes updates on some of the people featured in today's episode. Subscribe at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter and we'll send you weekly audio picks, behind the scenes updates and letters from our listener inbox.  Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Sep 201936min

E. Jean Carroll: More Interesting, Not Damaged

E. Jean Carroll: More Interesting, Not Damaged

At 75, E. Jean Carroll is calling out the men who've sexually assaulted her—including, she says, the president. But talk to a therapist about it? No thanks. Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, listener letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Sep 201933min

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