What Allows Us to Feel Safe in Relationships? Exploring Power, Kink, and Connection with Aubrey Aust

What Allows Us to Feel Safe in Relationships? Exploring Power, Kink, and Connection with Aubrey Aust

Episode 41 -What actually allows us to feel safe in relationships? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by Aubrey Aust, a Master’s student at NYU researching relational safety, who explores themes of attachment styles, somatics, and kink to examine the systems and sensations that shape how we connect with others.


We talk about how BDSM dynamics bring power, vulnerability, and consent to the surface in ways that most relationships suppress. Aubrey shares why kink can serve as a relational laboratory, how cultural scripts influence our nervous systems, and what it means to move through the world with curiosity and care. We also dive into shadow work, language around needs, and how we unlearn what no longer protects us.


Whether you're navigating kink, reflecting on past patterns, or rethinking how you build safety with others, this conversation is a powerful starting point. You’ll walk away with deeper insight into your own relational wiring and why safety is about more than just feeling comfortable.


Episode Highlights:

02:40 Power Dynamics in Relationships

06:32 Attachment Styles and Safety

11:58 Language and Communication in Relationships

15:26 Somatic Psychology and Healing

18:07 Exploring EMDR Therapy

22:12 Unlearning and Healing


Connect with Aubrey

http://www.aubreyaust.com/

https://instagram.com/aubrey__aust

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aubrey-aust-8b7744174/


Connect with Me:


Join The Kinky Book Club:

https://www.patreon.com/amandadames/membership


Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1


Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.


Episoder(58)

Ep 02 - Into the Dungeon: My First Day as a Dominatrix

Ep 02 - Into the Dungeon: My First Day as a Dominatrix

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on how I went from a Wall Street Journal desk job to stepping into a dominatrix role I never saw coming. I’ll take you through the nerve-wracking moments of my first day in a Garment District dungeon, where I faced unexpected client requests and discovered a side of myself I didn’t know existed. I’ll also share the adrenaline-pumping experiences that made this the most exhilarating job of my life—and why I couldn’t wait for the next session. Tune in to hear how my secret life began, the wild twists along the way, and the invaluable lessons I learned! Episode Highlights  01:03 The Craigslist Ad That Changed My Life  05:39 First Impressions and Rules 08:49 Preparing for the First Shift 13:28 Meeting the Clients and Learning the Ropes 18:34 What Made Me Want to Go Back  Connect with Me:  https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you!Book your consultation here.

6 Sep 202418min

Ep 01 - How I Became the Kink Consultant

Ep 01 - How I Became the Kink Consultant

Welcome to the first episode of The Kink Consultant! I’m excited to take you on a journey into the world of kink, BDSM, and sex positivity. In this episode, I share my story—starting with a childhood fascination with spanking that grew into a passion for kink. At 24, while working in finance by day, I answered a Craigslist ad for dominatrixes by night, and it changed my life. Balancing my Wall Street career with my secret life as a dominatrix was thrilling, but when both worlds collided, I had to make some tough choices. Eventually, I left the dungeon and followed a new path: becoming a sex and relationship coach. Now, as The Kink Consultant, I’m here to demystify kink, break down stigmas, and create an open, fun space for exploration. Join me, subscribe, leave a review, and keep on kinkin' on! Episode Highlights  01:07 First Encounter with BDSM 02:38 Becoming a Dominatrix 04:53 Balancing Two Worlds 07:33 Transition to Kink Consultant 10:37 Why I started the Podcast Connect with Me:  https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/ Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you!Book your consultation here.

4 Sep 202413min

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