270: Ben Horowitz | What You Do Is Who You Are

When you've got coworkers who literally stink enough to make your olfactory system protest with tears of sadness and deadbeat roommates who won't pay rent and try to convince you to let their online romantic interests move into your very real space, you need to listen to this Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/227. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You try to be positive, but when your longtime coworker is negative, pessimistic, petty, and literally stinky, how obligated are you to put up with it? You try to be positive, but when your longtime roommate is a deadbeat trying to move their online romantic interest in, how obligated are you to put up with it? You're an effortless jack of all trades, but a master of none. Should you be more motivated to excel, or just grateful for what you have and enjoy life? How do you get your extended family to understand that you and your spouse's busy entrepreneurial lifestyle makes free time a valuable resource? As a freelancer, how do you manage (mentally and financially) the slow growth periods of the year? You literally have OCD and can't stand being touched by strangers. How do you handle the would-be huggers and handshakers you meet without being rude? As a young worker in a relatively low-paying position, how do you request a raise if one isn't given or negotiate a slightly higher one if offered? Thanks to DNA testing, you've discovered your mother's been lying to you about the identity of your father for 40 years. How do you cope with this bombshell? Life Pro Tip: Before giving a previous job as reference, have a friend pretending to be a potential employer call them asking about you — this way you avoid derailing your job hunt. A quick shoutout to 11-year-old listener Ruby Johnson! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Jul 201952min

Justin Paperny (@justinpaperny) was a successful stockbroker who made some bad decisions and wound up serving 18 months in prison for violating securities laws. Now he helps others prepare for time behind bars and after. He's the author of Lessons From Prison. What We Discuss with Justin Paperny: What happens when white-collar criminals go to jail. Why otherwise good people might find themselves on the wrong end of the justice system. How someone prepares to do time inside a federal prison -- and what they can expect once they leave. How easy it can be for people to rationalize criminal behavior and lose control of their moral compass. Why Justin counts his 18 months behind bars as one of the best experiences of his life. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/226 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Mind Pump is an online radio show/podcast dedicated to providing truthful fitness and health information. It is sometimes raw, sometimes shocking, and is always entertaining and helpful. Jack up your ears with some Mind Pump wisdom here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Jul 20191h 17min

Kim Scott (@kimballscott) is a co-founder of Radical Candor, LLC and author of Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. What We Discuss with Kim Scott: How the best lessons about management can be learned from our worst bosses. Why the worst bosses aren’t necessarily the worst people in the world, and how relating to them as human beings makes challenging their bad decisions easier. How then-Google executive Sheryl Sandberg changed an important aspect of Kim’s long-term career potential by caring personally, but challenging directly when spotting room for improvement. The four quadrants of the Radical Candor framework. How conscientious bosses can avoid promoting ruinous empathy, manipulative insincerity, and obnoxious aggression. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/225 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Disgraceland is a true crime podcast about musicians getting away with murder. If you love true crime and you love music, get ready to love Disgraceland here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Jul 20191h 8min

You've been considering deleting your Facebook account for quite some time, but a close relative seemed shocked you would consider such a thing -- as if deleting Facebook would somehow delete you from the face of the earth. How can you delete Facebook without becoming persona non grata in your circle of family and friends, and since when did social media become mandatory for your very existence in their eyes? And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/224. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Got a question about relationships, sex, or dating for therapist Emily Morse? Drop us a line and we'll pass it along for a future episode! You have a severe fear of public speaking and hate yourself for performing poorly when you've given it a try. How can you overcome this? You'd like to keep two ex-flames in your network, but they can't seem to stay in contact without trying to rekindle a relationship you don't want. Should these connections be salvaged? What do you do when you feel like you must choose between a life you want to live or the less desirable life that could help your parents financially? Do you ever have to choose between taking some magical leap or playing it safe when it comes to entrepreneurship? How do you ensure the people you befriend on LinkedIn are quality connections rather than opportunistic junk mailers? Are you obligated to endure the presence of an aggressively transactional networker in your community? How can you delete your Facebook account without falling off the face of the planet? Life Pro Tip: Close to missing your flight? Go to a help center, request wheelchair assistance, have them push you through the airport in record time, and tip big! Recommendation of the Week: Running from COPS -- Headlong Season 3 Quick shoutouts to Bri and T! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Jul 201954min

Bryan Johnson (@bryan_johnson) is an entrepreneur, venture capitalist, and founder and CEO of Kernel, a company developing advanced neural interfaces, and OS Fund, a venture capital firm that invests in early-stage science and technology companies. What We Discuss with Bryan Johnson: Why humanity needs to co-evolve with artificial intelligence if we are to survive as a species. What future literacy is and why it's crucial for understanding the role humanity will play in the decades to come. The steps being taken to comprehend what makes biological systems fail in order to improve their capabilities. How privacy inequality could create more of a disparity between people than economic disparity ever could. Why Bryan advises us to be skeptical of advice -- and how we can discern between what's applicable to our own situation and what's completely useless. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/223 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Live your best life online with Dashlane -- the safe, simple way to store and fill passwords and personal information. Find out how Dashlane keeps you secure where others fail and get 10 percent off for being one of the first 200 to try it at dashlane.com/jordan! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Jul 20191h 13min

Matt McCarthy (@drmattmccarthy) is an assistant professor of medicine at Weill Cornell, a staff physician at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, and the author of Superbugs: The Race to Stop an Epidemic. What We Discuss with Matt McCarthy: How antibiotics are abused on a large scale by industrial agriculture, prescription-happy doctors, and mysophobic hand washers. Why antibiotic abuse is resulting in the fast-track evolution of once easily vanquished bacteria into superbugs from which we have no known protection. How herd immunity works, and why you may be at risk for contracting a once-eradicated disease thanks to anti-vaccination propaganda. Why the FDA approval process takes so long for new drugs to safely come to market, and how this hinders innovation in a profit-driven pharmaceutical market. How genetic editing through new CRISPR technology may be our best hope for quickly reacting to rapidly adapting superbugs. And much more… Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/222 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Disgraceland is a true crime podcast about musicians getting away with murder. If you love true crime and you love music, get ready to love Disgraceland here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Jul 20191h 7min

You and your significant other of six months planned on using your parents' vacation home for a romantic weekend getaway together, but now your parents have decided to join you. The problem: your parents and significant other haven't met yet. You're confident they'll get along great, but you want to make sure you set up the occasion for the best chance of success. Here's our take on how your significant other can meet the parents without a meltdown. And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/221. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: What's the right way to introduce your significant other to the parents when you'll unexpectedly be vacationing together soon? After basically being raised by wolves, how can you build a healthy cleaning schedule or routine? Is it just about learning how to establish new habits? Your best friend's ex-girl didn't used to be yours, but you'd like it if she could be. What are the pros and cons of exploring the possibility? You have no interest in having kids, so when is the right time to bring it up in the dating cycle so you're not wasting anyone's time or being presumptuous? How might Jordan calculate the way he asks a guest questions during an interview to prompt answers that haven't been given on a dozen other podcasts? Matt Gallant from BiOptimizers gives us some straight talk about the way different probiotics affect (or in most cases, don't affect) gut health. While your grandmother has an undiagnosed mental disability and caring for her is taking its toll on your mother, she doesn't qualify for the local nursing home. What are your options? Life Pro Tip: When arguing, try restating the main points of the other person's argument back to them and have them do the same with you. Recommendation of the Week: They Come for Us at Night: Inside China's Hidden War on Uighurs by Isobel Yeung, Vice A quick shoutout to Mario Scian from Denmark! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Jul 20191h

Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) joins us for this deep dive into what it takes to cultivate the mindset of abundance that seemingly makes generosity possible, and how to overcome the evolutionary blips in our programming that make it so counterintuitive. "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -Paul McCartney What We Discuss with Gabriel Mizrahi: Why the mindset of scarcity is your survival mode default that urges you to see the world as a zero sum game and hoard your resources accordingly. What you can do to reconcile this scarcity mindset with one of abundance that seemingly permits you to give generously without remorse. How you can begin practicing the behavior of generosity even before you've fully sold yourself on the belief of abundance. The many ways that tiny repetitions of generosity act to strengthen the muscles of abundance with giant gains. A smattering of good advice for cultivating abundance, and (we hope) an abundance of even better advice for making generosity second nature. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/220 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Jul 201951min