The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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The Housing Market Has New Rules. Realtors Are Evading Them.

The Housing Market Has New Rules. Realtors Are Evading Them.

Last year, a historic legal settlement resulted in sweeping rule changes that were supposed to lower the price of buying and selling a home across the country.But those changes would cost real-estate agents money, and so those agents, it turns out, have found ways around the new rules.Debra Kamin, who reports on real estate, explains how they did it.Guest: Debra Kamin, a reporter for the real estate section of The New York Times.Background reading: Home sellers and buyers have accused real-estate agents of blocking lower fees.The rule change was the result of a legal settlement last year by the National Association of Realtors.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Jamie Kelter Davis for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

29 Apr 30min

Americans to Trump: You’ve Gone Too Far

Americans to Trump: You’ve Gone Too Far

Warning: This episode contains strong language.One question that has hung over the first 100 days of President Trump’s second term: Is his aggressive approach to everything from deportations to tariffs what most Americans want — or has he simply gone too far?In a major new nationwide poll, voters tell The New York Times exactly how they feel about Trump’s agenda.Nate Cohn, The Times’s chief political analyst, explains the results.Guest: Nate Cohn, the chief political analyst for The New York Times.Background reading: Voters see President Trump’s use of power as overreaching, a Times/Siena poll found.Four perspectives on Mr. Trump’s weak poll numbers.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Eric Lee/The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Apr 29min

The Sunday Read: ‘The Strange, Post-Partisan Popularity of the Unabomber’

The Sunday Read: ‘The Strange, Post-Partisan Popularity of the Unabomber’

Online, there is a name for the experience of finding sympathy with Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber: Tedpilling. To be Tedpilled means to read Paragraph 1 of Kaczynski’s manifesto, its assertion that the mad dash of technological advancement since the Industrial Revolution has “made life unfulfilling,” “led to widespread psychological suffering” and “inflicted severe damage on the natural world,” and think, Well, sure.Since Kaczynski’s death by suicide in a federal prison in North Carolina nearly two years ago, the taboo surrounding the figure has been weakening. This is especially true on the right, where pessimism and paranoia about technology — largely the province of the left not long ago — have spread on the heels of the coronavirus pandemic and efforts to police speech on social media platforms. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

27 Apr 19min

'The Interview': Isabel Allende Understands How Fear Changes a Society

'The Interview': Isabel Allende Understands How Fear Changes a Society

The beloved author left Chile at a time of great turmoil and has longed for the nation of her youth ever since. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Apr 40min

Children’s Books Go Before the Supreme Court

Children’s Books Go Before the Supreme Court

On Tuesday, the Supreme Court heard a case that could hand parents with religious objections a lot more control over what their kids learn in the classroom.Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court, explains how a case about children’s picture books with titles like “Pride Puppy” and “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding” has broad implications for schools across the country.Guest: Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court and writes Sidebar, a column on legal developments, for The New York Times.Background reading: In a lively and sometimes heated argument, the Supreme Court’s conservative majority appeared set to allow opt-outs from L.G.B.T.Q. stories in schools.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

25 Apr 34min

What an Iowa Farmer Fears About the Trade War

What an Iowa Farmer Fears About the Trade War

In the increasingly bitter trade war between the United States and China, perhaps nobody has more at stake than America’s soybean farmers, whose crop has become the country’s single biggest export to China.Michael Barbaro speaks to an Iowa farmer who helped build that $13 billion market, and asks her what President Trump’s sky-high tariffs mean for her and for tens of thousands of other American farmers.Guest: April Hemmes, a soybean farmer in Iowa.Background reading: Soybean producers warned that farms could go under after the Trump administration hit China with tariffs of 145 percent.China has long relied on the U.S. for soybeans. But with new steep tariffs, it is likely to look even more to Brazil and Argentina.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Kathryn Gamble for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Apr 29min

Trump Says They’re Foreign Gang Members. Are They?

Trump Says They’re Foreign Gang Members. Are They?

In recent weeks, the Trump administration has deported hundreds of Venezuelan migrants by quickly labeling them as gang members and foreign enemies, and boarding them on planes to El Salvador. It’s sidestepping their rights to a court hearing where anyone might be able to scrutinize the claims against them.As a result, very little has been known about who these men are, or how they were targeted by immigration officials. Until now.Julie Turkewitz, the Andes bureau chief for The New York Times, explains who was actually on those planes, and discusses the secretive process that led to their deportations.Guest: Julie Turkewitz, the Andes bureau chief for The New York Times, based in Bogotá, Colombia.Background reading: Inside President Trump’s rushed effort to deport 238 migrants.The government is relying more on tattoos to identify gang members. Experts say that’s unreliable.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Alex Peña/Getty Images Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Apr 29min

How Pope Francis Changed the Catholic Church

How Pope Francis Changed the Catholic Church

Church bells rang out across the world on Monday to mark the death of Pope Francis at the age of 88.Jason Horowitz, the Rome bureau chief at The New York Times, discusses the pope’s push to change the church, his bitter clashes with traditionalists, and what his papacy meant to the world’s 1.4 billion Catholics.Guest: Jason Horowitz, the Rome bureau chief of The New York Times.Background reading: For Jason Horowitz, Pope Francis was always a surprise.Francis’ death silences a voice for the voiceless.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Andrew Medichini/Associated Press Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Apr 39min

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