EP. 38: Why Your ADHD Symptoms Feel Worse as You Age (It's Not What You Think) | ADHD with Jenna Free

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Chapters
00:00 Introduction: ADHD, Aging, and Dysregulation
01:00 Why ADHD Symptoms Feel Worse as You Age
03:00 What Dysregulation Looks Like During Perimenopause and Menopause
05:00 Three Ways to Support Yourself as You Age
08:00 Aging, Appearance, and Dysregulation
12:00 The Society Piece: Pressure on Women
15:00 Celebrity Examples: Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman
18:00 It's Safe to Age

Summary
In this episode, I talk about why ADHD symptoms feel worse as you age - and it's not what you think. A big part of the ADHD aging conversation is hormones, perimenopause, and menopause. The ADHD brain relies heavily on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and when estrogen decreases, we become more dysregulated. A Harvard study showed that lowered estrogen equals an increased startle response - meaning we're more reactive, irritable, and emotionally flooded. This mimics what people call "worsening ADHD" but it's actually worsening dysregulation. This matters because if you think your ADHD is worse, you'll look for external tools, but what you actually need is regulation work. I walk through what dysregulation looks like during perimenopause and menopause (constantly on edge, quick to overwhelm, harder time focusing, sleep disruption) and share three ways to support yourself: regulation work (it takes longer but it's the anchor), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor. Then I dive into something that might get pushback: aging, appearance, and dysregulation. Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a threat. I share why I believe societal pressure plays a huge role in cosmetic procedures and anti-aging efforts, and how regulation changes our relationship with aging. I share examples from Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman who've embraced aging confidently, and my own journey with cosmetic procedures I now regret that I did from dysregulation. The goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much.

Action Step
This week, notice if you're feeling like your ADHD symptoms are getting worse. Ask yourself: is this my ADHD getting worse, or am I more dysregulated right now? If you're in perimenopause, menopause, or experiencing hormonal changes, recognize that what you're experiencing is heightened dysregulation - not a worsening brain. Start or double down on regulation work. It might take longer and feel harder (like lifting heavier weights at the gym), but it's still the thing that's going to make the biggest difference. Also notice: if you have fears about aging (visually, hormonally, or otherwise), ask yourself these questions: Is this danger or discomfort? Is this my preference or my fear? Does this choice come from safety or threat? Just observe. No judgment, just awareness.

Takeaways

• ADHD symptoms feeling worse with age is actually worsening dysregulation - the ADHD brain relies on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and perimenopause/menopause decrease estrogen, making us more reactive and dysregulated
• What feels like worsening ADHD is your body's sense of safety shifting - the symptoms of ADHD and dysregulation are almost interchangeable, so regulation work becomes even more important as you age
• Three ways to support yourself: regulation work (the anchor that creates stability), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor
• Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a potential threat - regulated brains tolerate change better, including physical change
• Societal pressure on women to stay young impacts us more when we're dysregulated - the goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much so you can make conscious choices instead of compulsive ones

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