Ask Uncut - I Cheated And The Other Guy Has Gone Cold

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!

Vibes for the week:

Britt - Kidnapped: Elizabeth Smart on Netflix
Keeshia - Karcher K2 Power Control Pressure Washer
Laura - @stevenwommack

Then we jump into your questions!

19 WEEKS PREG AND CANNOT STAND MY PARTNER
I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant and cannot stand my partner. It feels like everything he does makes me mad. We are currently getting our old house ready to sell so he is spending A LOT of his afternoons there but I struggle with the fact that I’m left to do the majority of the housework at our new place. I feel as though I’m always stuck doing the housework even since before sprucing up the old house. He keeps telling me it will be better once the old place sells but I just don’t believe it. The other part is I am SO sick of being asked the same questions over and over. For example, what weekend something is on or when the next appointment is etc. It also feels as though he asks questions just so he doesn’t have to use his own brain but it’s also ALL the damn time!! I am going crazy. Please help.

I CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND AND THE OTHER GUY HAS GONE COLD, I FEEL USED AND GUILT
I don’t really know where to start and it’s killing me ! I’m Married with 3 kids . My marriage the last year or more has been really up and down. We have had a lot of separation talk .Both of us are not very happy but both are probably too scared to leave. In October I was out and met this guy (friend of a friend ) . Nothing happened. We added each other on insta and started talking. It went from texts to every morning and night phone call on the way to work. He lives a few hours away from me but comes to where I live once a month . He is also a dad with kids .
We spoke for a whole month. It was quite in depth about how our lives could work together if his ex would let him move with the kids to where I live. The chemistry was crazy. I've never ever had that. Fast forward, he came back a month later with his mum and kids and we met up several times and slept together a few times. I met the fam and his kids. I was ready to give it a shot and be together. I was even willing to do long distance. After this he went back home and spoke to his ex who said he is not allowed to move with the kids. Then everything totally shifted. We went from talking every day to nothing. He keeps saying he wigged out cuz I’m married still, and he feels bad about what happened. He doesn’t wanna be the reason to break a family. He also said that he won’t do long distance. He has gone so cold and so quiet. I feel like he is avoidant. A few weeks ago he came back to where I live and no text, no call, nothing. Bare minimum messages and acting like he didn’t give a shit. I’m actually sick to my stomach about how the hell it changed so quickly. I feel used and ick. My husband and I are still together . He is a good man but I feel like I’m not a priority to him and all and we are absolutely roommates. I’ve never ever been unfaithful in my marriage before and would have never unless it meant something. I’m left so confused and gutted. I can’t stop thinking about this other guy and I never really hear from him anymore. I’m so bloody confused. How can you be so hot and then go so ice cold? He has almost turned a little mean towards me. I don’t know what I am asking but I needed to vent to someone!

CAN I CHASE UP PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A WEDDING GIFT?
My future husband and I are having our wedding in 5 weeks and something that is playing on our minds is people forgetting or not giving us a wedding gift - money haha. I know it sounds ridiculous but I couldn’t imagine going to someone’s wedding and not giving a gift. Would it be bad if we were to send an email saying our thank you and if you forgot or haven't sent your wedding gift to us here are our details? We would word it better as well.

CAN YOU BE A REFORMED CHEATER?
Can someone be a reformed cheater without any personal work or voluntary accountability? For context, I recently found out my long term partner has a history of cheating. It’s never been to the point of sex, but at some point in all of his past relationships he has looked elsewhere for some kind of attention or sexual validation. For example, sexting other girls. I also found out this happened to me early on in our relationship, which has been very devastating. This is something I have asked him about before, and he has now admitted to lying to me about it because he didn’t want to be ‘branded’ in that way and thought I wouldn’t forgive him. He reflects that he feels bad and wouldn’t do it again. My issue is that I feel he is only taking accountability now because he has no other option now that I found out. Do you think it’s possible that this type of pattern of behavior does just stop on its own (because of maturity/growth or finding the right relationship) or does it require conscious personal work and reflection?

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