EP 187: Stefanie Myr — Miniature Carpentry, Becoming Polyamorous, and Finding “Church” at the Gym

Stefanie Myr is the head route setter, manager, and team coach at Climb Tacoma in WA. We met up in Leavenworth and talked about our similar upbringings in Christianity, why we both moved away from religion, finding “church” in the climbing community, confidence and self-belief, unique challenges as a short climber, being less certain and more curious, Stef’s polyamorous relationship with her husband and partner, compersion, honest communication, doing what you can to make the world a little better, and much more!

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We are supported by these amazing BIG GIVERS:

• Leo Franchi, Michael Roy, David Lahaie, Robert Freehill, Jeremiah Johnson, Scott Donahue, Eli Conlee, Skyler Maxwell, Craig Lee, Mark and Julie Calhoun, Yinan Liu, Renzollama, Zach Emery, and Brandt Mickolas

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Show Notes:

thenuggetclimbing.com/episodes/stefanie-myr

Nuggets:

0:04:05 – Miniature carpentry, and a gift for me

0:11:49 – Stef role at Climb Tacoma, and the gym as a core part of her community

1:17:19 – How she first got a job at Climb Tacoma, and having a diverse group of people on the team

0:20:16 – Stef’s unique financial situation, and the sustainability of working at a climbing gym

0:22:38 – Moving away from her Christian upbringing, and finding “church” at the climbing gym

0:25:09 – Our parallels with church music and moving away from organized religion

0:30:31 – Bullet point lists, and how the gym functions like a “church”

0:32:07 – Meeting people who changed the way we thought about organized religion

0:35:16 – Stef’s upbringing and programming, and not realizing she was bisexual until college

0:38:39 – Stef’s husband Julien

0:40:34 – Stef’s confidence, choosing Giant Man as an objective, and gaining something from every climb

0:46:17 – Frustration with height and grades, and needing to be V12 strong to climb V10

0:48:02 – My conversation with Nic Rummel about grades, and an announcement about the Patron show being on Spotify

0:51:19 – Sending Pimpsqueak V8/9 in Leavenworth, ABR (always be rolling), and why recording send videos feels important

0:56:02 – The power of seeing someone like you climb hard things

1:00:42 – More about confidence, embracing powerful moves, learning from coaching little kids, and unlocking pieces of the puzzle

1:08:18 – The moments that show you that you’ve gotten better at climbing, and Stef’s mountain

1:10:23 – Stef’s dream boulder in Goldbar WA, and other goals in Leavenworth

1:12:01 – How Stef got on The Nugget

1:21:52 – Self-belief, wanting to be good, and the power of affirmation

1:26:17 – Our brain’s reaction to negative comments, and how Stef deals with trolls

1:38:02 – The lawyer in my brain, and making people think differently by asking better questions

1:39:51 – Less certain more curious

1:42:47 – Stef’s polyamorous relationship, and why she wanted to talk about it

1:50:50 – Normalizing sex, and redefining cheating in an open relationship

1:56:18 – Equating sex and intimacy to love, how cool her husband is, and the story of how she came to be with her partner

2:03:22 – Jealousy, and honest communication

2:05:32 – Why Stef wanted to talk about her open relationship, and why people who are poly are not free-for-alls

2:09:53 – Bringing all of who you are to yourself as a climber

2:11:53 – Compersion

2:15:11 – The depth of her relationship with her husband before they opened their relationship, and the distinction between security and trust

2:17:53 – Marriage, and Stef’s future with her partner

2:24:47 – Double the love and laundry, and Stef’s life in a go bag

2:26:50 – Check-ins, RADAR, smoking weed, and “ask don’t assume”

2:32:23 – Double-committing, and learning to communicate her plans

2:39:18 – What Stef wishes people spent more time thinking about

2:41:10 – Make the world a little better

2:42:20 – My episode with Ethan Pringle about his dad, and the importance of airing out the messiness

2:47:35 – Stef’s sponsors

2:51:08 – Pursuing the child-free life, and final thoughts