113. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes

Moving to a new city is one of the most exciting (and emotionally challenging) things you can do in your twenties. Whether it’s for work, study, love, or a fresh start, leaving behind what’s familiar often brings a mix of freedom, fear, loneliness, and growth all at once. It’s a rite of passage, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In this episode, I’m sharing my personal experience of moving cities multiple times in my 20s, including moving internationally for the first time, alongside the psychology that explains why this transition feels so destabilising—and what actually helps. We explore:• Why moving increases stress, emotional exhaustion, and homesickness• Why it takes around 6 months to truly adjust to a new city• The role of routine, repetition, and place attachment in feeling settled• Why “going home too often” can slow down adjustment• How novelty, social effort, and structure protect mental health during transitions If you’ve just moved, or are thinking about it, this episode will help you feel less alone, more grounded, and more confident that what you’re feeling is normal, temporary, and part of the process. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 Tammi 32min

Navigating friendship in your 20s is already complicated – so what happens when we add a third person into the mix? The group chat might be buzzing, there’s always someone to talk to, and belonging to a group of three can feel like a safe space. But what happens when two start getting closer, plans are made without you, or you’re constantly wondering if you’re the extra one? In today’s episode, we unpack the psychology of friendship trios - why they feel so special, when they can hurt, and how to tell the difference between a rough patch and a dynamic that’s genuinely not good for you. We explore: • The beauty of a friendship trio• Friendship dyads vs triads• The role of Simmelian ties• When imbalances start to show (alliances, jealousy and feeling like the ‘third wheel’)• What healthy trio dynamics actually look like (and how to achieve it)• Hot to know when it’s time to step back If you’re navigating this nuanced aspect of friendship, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

15 Tammi 40min

In our 20s especially, the fear of regret can seem like every choice has the potential to ‘ruin’ our future - the degree we picked (or didn’t), the person we stayed with, the move we were too scared to make. And then there are the things we didn’t do at all, the opportunities we let pass, the words we never said, that still weigh on us years later. In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of regret – what it actually is, why it’s so tied to self-blame, and how it can either keep us frozen or push us forward. We explore:• The role of upward and downward counterfactual thinking• How regret can both motivate and stagnate us • The four BIGGEST regrets people have• The paradox of the ‘perfect’ decision• Why we fear regret more than we feel it• How to grow through regret with acceptance and compassion If you want to quieten the ‘what if’ thoughts, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12 Tammi 25min

Modern life has a way of making rest feel suspicious. You can be exhausted, finally take a break, and still hear that nagging voice that you should be doing something more. Somewhere along the line, downtime stopped being a basic need and started feeling like something you have to justify, like a sign you’re falling behind, letting people down, or not trying hard enough. In this episode, we’re getting into the psychology behind rest guilt - why busyness has become a kind of social currency, how work and visibility have blurred the line between ‘off’ and ‘on’, and why so many of us struggle to switch off even when we desperately need to. We explore: • How busyness became social currency• Historical and social origins of why rest feels so hard• How LinkedIn and social media impact comparison and urgency• The beliefs that keep us from resting• Why ‘time off’ isn’t always restorative• How rest can be the most productive thing you do• Practical ways to reframe rest guilt If resting makes you feel edgy, unproductive, or guilty, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Tammi 32min

So many of us are coming to the realisation that we don't really know who we are anymore. We spend more time consuming other people's lives and personalities through a screen, than actually living out the person, values and passions that we have. On top of that, long hours, loneliness and the growing pains of our 20s mean many of us have no clear view of who we are. In this episode, we break down 7 tips to get your personality back, including: Why your personality is probably frozen, not lost The value of unproductive goals The need for geographical novelty The 5 soul needs you need to fulfil weekly The journalling exercise we all need to try, today Listen now if you're also feeling lost and disconnected from your true self. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8 Tammi 40min

What makes some people successful and others, not? Is it a singular trait, habits, or just luck? In this episode, we break down the psychology and research behind success and what drives successful individuals to become the people they are. This includes: • Objective vs subjective measures of success• The role of the self-determination theory in guiding success• How to find success that is meaningful to you• The 5 habits of successful people• Developing an identity beyond traditional success Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Tammi 36min

At the start of every year, I choose a theme - not just goals, but a guiding philosophy. For 2026, that theme is doing less and achieving more. In this episode, we explore why focus beats busyness, why saying no creates better outcomes, and how choosing depth over overwhelm can actually lead to more success. Our discussion includes: Why a yearly theme is more powerful than traditional goals The psychology of intrinsic motivation The importance of focused vs. scattered effort How to choose 1–2 true priorities for the year The surprising psychology of rest How to plan a year that feels intentional, not exhausting Happy listening! ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1 Tammi 31min

In our final guest episode for the year, we're hearing from the listeners! I asked you all to call in with the biggest dilemmas you've had in your 20s; questions you want answered, or just situations where you may have been desperate for advice and you answered the call! We answer 7 of your most burning questions, including: How do I end a friendship in my 20s How do I get my life back after an ex How do I deal with disappointing my family How do I feel at home in a new city How do I deal with someone who doesn't like me? Listen now for all the psychological advice and wisdom you need during this decade. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29 Joulu 202542min