139. How to have better first dates!

Intrusive thoughts can feel shocking, confusing, and deeply personal - especially when they show up out of nowhere and go completely against who you are. But in reality, the majority of us have them. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of intrusive thoughts - why they happen, why they feel so emotional, and what actually helps when your mind won’t let something go. We explore: • How common intrusive thoughts really are• What intrusive thoughts are - and what they aren’t • The most common intrusive thought themes• The white bear effect and the ironic process theory• Alternative tools to help manage the thoughts If you’ve ever been frightened by your own mind and wondered what it says about you - this episode is for you. Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

9 Helmi 42min

AI has transformed the way we work, the way we ask questions, and the way we function as a society. But what impact has it had on our minds? In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the ways that this new-found convenience has come at a cognitive cost. We explore:• Why a wider focus on productivity has increased our use of AI• How the ease of this technology stops us using our brains• When AI is wrong, misleading or incomplete• The ELIZA effect • The dangers of using it to replace human interaction• Where it can be useful, and how wonder keeps our brains alive If you’re both amazed and slightly unsettled by AI, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Helmi 52min

Everyone wants a village? No one wants to be a villager? In a world obsessed with protecting our peace, optimising our time, and cutting off anything that feels draining ... have we accidentally made friendship optional? In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology behind friendship and why the best ones sometimes make you work harder. We explore: The viral idea that “inconvenience is the cost of community” The 4 psychological pillars of lasting friendships How much time it actually takes to build a close friend The rise of therapy-speak and how “boundaries” can sometimes become disguised avoidance Why conflict isn’t the end of a friendship 6 practical ways to “be a villager” When to kick someone out of the village... If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much, giving too much, or slowly drifting from the people you care about, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2 Helmi 45min

Finally sharing all the details of the last few months ... and what a recent announcement means for the podcast going forward! Happy listening! Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

31 Tammi 18min

Dating and sex can feel like they come with a hidden rulebook. You’re meant to be adventurous but not too adventurous, confident but not reckless, and always somehow immune to consequences. So the potential of catching an STI – whether it’s a scare, a diagnosis, or a message from a clinic – can feel not only a health impact, but also a judgement on our character. In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of STIs in our 20s why they carry so much shame, how stigma shapes the stories we tell ourselves, and what it looks like to navigate disclosure with self-respect. We explore:• How common STIs really are• The most common infections in our 20s• The difference between treatable and manageable• The role of sexual shame and purity culture• How shame drives secrecy and avoidance• When and how to tell a partner, and what to do if you face rejection If you’ve ever felt panicked, embarrassed, or stuck in your head about sexual health, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29 Tammi 34min

One minute it’s exciting, the next it’s endless options, half-conversations, and the dismissive feeling of being judged (or ignored) by people who don’t actually know you. In this episode, we’re getting into seven tips for surviving dating apps in your 20s, while looking at what they’re designed to do, why they can leave you feeling burnt out, and how to use them in a way that protects your confidence rather than draining it. We explore: • How dating apps are designed to be addictive• The rules to stick by to keep your sense of self• The importance of a clear and honest profile• Why they’re not a replacement for meeting in real life• Why you shouldn’t take anything personally• How to take a step back to avoid burnout If you’re in a cycle of deleting and redownloading Hinge every few weeks, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Tammi 47min

When we move through our 20s, it can feel like everyone else is making big, brave moves - new cities, new jobs, new relationships - while we’re stuck in the same place, overthinking every possible outcome. Change sounds good in theory, but in practice? It’s terrifying. In today’s episode, we dig into why we resist change, and what it actually takes to move forward even when part of you wants to stay the same. We explore:• Why change feels so overwhelming in our 20s• How loss aversion keeps us clinging to ‘fine but not right’ situations• What we really lose by staying the same• Why some of the best, most aligned decisions are also the scariest• How to build a more compassionate, positive mindset around change• Practical ways to take action with your fear, instead of waiting for it to disappear If you’re stuck in the loop of wanting change, but being scared to action it, this episode is for you. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22 Tammi 39min

Moving to a new city is one of the most exciting (and emotionally challenging) things you can do in your twenties. Whether it’s for work, study, love, or a fresh start, leaving behind what’s familiar often brings a mix of freedom, fear, loneliness, and growth all at once. It’s a rite of passage, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. In this episode, I’m sharing my personal experience of moving cities multiple times in my 20s, including moving internationally for the first time, alongside the psychology that explains why this transition feels so destabilising—and what actually helps. We explore:• Why moving increases stress, emotional exhaustion, and homesickness• Why it takes around 6 months to truly adjust to a new city• The role of routine, repetition, and place attachment in feeling settled• Why “going home too often” can slow down adjustment• How novelty, social effort, and structure protect mental health during transitions If you’ve just moved, or are thinking about it, this episode will help you feel less alone, more grounded, and more confident that what you’re feeling is normal, temporary, and part of the process. ORDER MY BOOK Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 Tammi 32min