#284 - Healing Relationships

Is anger, regret or sadness still tying you to your past? In this episode, you’ll learn how finding forgiveness helps you heal unhealthy emotions, create closure, and move on. You’ll learn about the two types of forgiveness and how to shift your mindset so you can finally feel happier, freer, and more like yourself again. If happiness and well-being feel out of reach right now, I hope you dive into this one. Forgiveness often sounds simple, but it can feel deeply challenging when anger, regret, or unresolved pain linger. I’m revisiting this episode because these unhealthy feelings tend to hold on quietly, shaping how we feel long after the moment has passed. In this conversation, I talk about what forgiveness really is and what it is not, and how finding forgiveness can support healing and closure without excusing harm or abandoning your boundaries. We explore the difference between forgiving yourself and forgiving someone else, especially when there has been no apology, no repair, or no justice. You’ll hear how to work with difficult emotions like sadness and resentment, how to move on when the other person may never change, and how forgiveness can support your growth, well-being, and peace of mind. If part of you feels like you should be over it by now, but something still feels unfinished, this episode offers a more compassionate way forward. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or minimizing what happened. It’s about releasing what no longer serves you so you can heal and feel happier in your life today. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Finding Forgiveness and Emotional Healing 03:25 The Two Types of Forgiveness: Yourself and Others 05:52 How Anger, Regret, and Guilt Impact Happiness 07:56 Self-Forgiveness Through Compassion and Growth 15:00 Making Amends and Repairing Harm 21:59 How to Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry 24:19 Letting Go Without Excusing Harm 28:56 Forgiveness, Boundaries, and Emotional Safety 31:19 Choosing Forgiveness to Move On and Feel at Peace If this conversation about finding forgiveness stirred something tender for you, I want you to know you don’t have to work through it alone. I’d love for you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team at Growing Self. It’s a private, secure space to share what you’ve been carrying and get matched with the right counselor or coach for where you are right now. You’ll answer three quick questions, and we’ll help you take a thoughtful next step toward healing and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

1 Tammi 38min

Most people don’t realize they’re running on autopilot until life forces them to stop. Through the lens of ‘Memento Mori’, this episode shows you how living for meaning can help you find direction, improve your overall well-being, and create a purpose-driven life. You’ll learn how to use this mindset shift to support your self improvement, reduce your stress, and cultivate happiness right now. I’m joined by Karen Salmansohn, author and mindset coach, for a conversation about living for meaning and finding direction through the lens of Memento Mori. I’m revisiting this episode because its message feels especially relevant right now - how to reduce stress, stay grounded in your mindset, and create a purpose-driven life without giving up your ambition or drive. Rather than being morbid, the Memento Mori mindset offers clarity. It brings you back into the present moment and helps you make more intentional choices about who you are becoming and what truly matters. Together, we explore why traditional to-do lists often leave people feeling busy but unfulfilled, and how shifting toward values-based, identity-driven habits can support greater happiness and emotional well-being. This episode is an invitation to step out of autopilot, reconnect with what matters most, and begin living with more intention starting exactly where you are. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: If your time is limited, what deserves more of your attention right now? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Welcome to Love, Happiness & Success 00:48 The “funeral question” and how it helps you live with meaning 01:19 Memento Mori and using mortality awareness to find direction 05:29 Karen’s wake-up call and the origin of Your To Die For Life 09:13 “Everything that is not given is lost” and the meaning of legacy 14:22 Aristotle on happiness vs pleasure and building a purpose-driven life 21:08 The to-die list, core values, and identity-based habits 30:22 Karen’s seven core values and intentional daily choices 38:28 Mortality marbles and a mindset shift that reduces stress 46:31 Dr. Lisa’s 9/11 story and choosing a more intentional life If this gives you a desire for more meaning, more clarity, or a different relationship with stress, I want to offer you something supportive. You’re invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a trusted member of my team. This is a private, secure space to talk about what’s been weighing on you, what you want to feel differently, and what kind of support would truly help you move forward. You’ll answer just a few quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach and help you take the next step toward a more intentional, purpose-driven life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

29 Joulu 202558min

If you’ve been hearing more about psychedelic therapy and wondering whether it’s a genuine breakthrough for healing—or just the latest mental health trend—you’re not alone. Many people feel curious, hopeful, and skeptical all at once. This conversation is meant to help you slow down, understand what the research actually shows, and think clearly about whether this path is right for you. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m joined by psychiatrist and MDMA-assisted psychotherapist Dr. Scott Shannon, founder of Wholeness Center, the largest integrative mental health center in the U.S. Together, we talk about how psychedelic therapy works differently from conventional psychiatric treatment, why it can help disrupt rigid trauma patterns in the brain, and what researchers are learning about long-term healing—not just short-term symptom relief. We also spend time on the parts of this conversation that matter just as much: the risks, the ethical boundaries, and the importance of preparation, professional support, and integration. Psychedelic therapy isn’t appropriate for everyone, and it isn’t something to pursue casually or without careful guidance. This episode offers a grounded, responsible look at how people can think critically about safety, readiness, and what to look for in a qualified provider. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on a few questions: What kind of healing are you actually looking for? What does feeling “better” really mean to you? And how do you decide which growth paths deserve your trust, time, and care? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Psychedelic therapy explained: promise, research, and real risks 02:31 Why psychedelic therapy differs from traditional psychiatric medication 04:55 Trauma, brain patterns, and how psychedelic therapy disrupts stuck loops 07:00 MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD and why healing can continue long after treatment 12:21 A paradigm shift in mental health: supporting the brain’s capacity to heal 19:30 What MDMA actually does in therapy: safety, self-compassion, and trauma processing 25:47 Mystical experience, meaning, and the spiritual dimension of psychedelic therapy 30:09 Ethical concerns, safety risks, and how to evaluate psychedelic therapy providers 38:00 Preparation and integration: why psychedelic therapy is more than the experience itself If this conversation leaves you thinking about your own healing or growth, I want to be clear that Growing Self does not offer psychedelic therapy. What we do offer is thoughtful, evidence-based therapy and coaching for people who want to grow with intention and care. If you’d like, I’d love to help you think through what kind of support would actually be most helpful for you. I’ve created a simple, private way to do that. By answering just a few quick questions, we can help match you with the right therapist or coach for a complimentary consultation—someone who understands what you’re navigating and where you’d like to go next. Schedule a free consultation today. Consider it a small gift from me, and a gentle next step if you’re ready for one. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

25 Joulu 202551min

You’re speaking... they’re nodding… and yet somehow, the disconnect lingers. Western culture teaches us that communicating more clearly will fix the problems in our relationships, but what if the missing piece isn’t “more talking” at all? What if learning how to listen differently is what actually changes everything? When we understand how to listen in a deeper, more intentional way, communication problems soften, conflict and repair become easier, and emotional intimacy has room to grow. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Haru Yamada, a sociolinguistics researcher, writer, and author of Kiku: The Japanese Art of Good Listening. Haru holds a PhD from Georgetown University and has spent her life studying language, culture, and communication across borders. Having grown up moving between countries and cultures, her work centers on listening as a relational skill and a form of intelligence that supports both emotional and physical health. She now lives in London with her French partner in a multicultural family where listening is essential. Together, we explore what the Japanese art of listening teaches us about how to listen in relationships. We talk about why hearing words is not the same as being understood, how tone, silence, pacing, and emotional awareness shape connection, and why so many couples feel unseen even when conversations sound productive on the surface. This conversation offers a reframe for anyone who wants to be a better listener and communicate with more care, clarity, and compassion. If you’ve ever wondered how to listen in a way that actually helps your partner feel safe and understood, this episode offers listening skills you can start using right away. These are skills that support conflict and repair, strengthen emotional intimacy, and help couples move out of stuck communication patterns and into real connection. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on these questions: Where might you be listening for information, when what your partner really needs is to be listened to as a person? And how might your relationships change if feeling heard became the goal, not winning the conversation? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Communication Problems Persist in Relationships 01:02 The Japanese Art of Listening and How It Changes Relationships 02:56 Speaking vs Listening: Who Is Responsible for Understanding? 05:18 How Listening Impacts Relational Health and Healing 08:35 “Kiku” and Listening With 14 Hearts: Hearing Information vs Hearing a Person 16:10 Listening Skills That Build Emotional Intimacy 19:31 Why Conflict Happens When We Don’t Feel Heard 25:17 How Expectations Shape What We Hear 28:50 How to Be a Good Listener in Love and Relationships 35:27 Staying Present: The Hardest and Most Important Listening Skill 40:19 Listening as Care: How Being Heard Supports Healing and Repair If you’d like support as you practice listening differently and creating more understanding in your relationships, I’d love to help you find the right next step. I’ve created a simple, private way for you to connect with the support that fits you best. You can answer a few quick questions, and we’ll help you schedule a free consultation with the right counselor or coach on my team. It’s a quiet, pressure-free space to talk about what’s really been happening in your relationships and what you want to feel differently moving forward. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

22 Joulu 202550min

What if the key to success and happiness isn’t working harder, but finally understanding how you’re wired to thrive? Many people unknowingly work against their own strengths and personality, leading to stress, stalled career growth, and strained relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn how to uncover obstacles, unlock your personal greatness, and start living in your type of working genius. Burnout doesn’t always come from doing too much. Often, it comes from spending too much time doing the kind of work that drains you. Patrick Lencioni and I talk about why stress, frustration, and self-criticism are frequent signals of misalignment rather than failure, and how understanding your natural skills can change the way you work, lead, and relate to the people you love. Patrick is the creator of the Working Genius assessment and author of The Six Types of Working Genius. Together, we explore how the Working Genius framework helps people understand their strengths, release shame around what feels hard, and create healthier relationships at work and at home. We also talk about why rest alone doesn’t resolve burnout, and why doing more of the right kind of work often restores energy, confidence, and momentum. As you listen, you may find yourself reconsidering long-held beliefs about success, productivity, and what you “should” be good at, and noticing where clarity could replace stress. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Feeling Burned Out and Self-Critical at Work and Home 05:06 Burnout as Working Outside Your Strengths 06:56 The 6 Types of Working Genius Explained 11:45 How Working Genius Differences Affect Relationships 17:50 Enablement and Tenacity as Essential Strengths 21:08 Shame, Comparison, and Misunderstood Skills 32:41 Using Working Genius to Improve Couples and Team Communication 41:34 Why Doing Less Does Not Fix Burnout 55:35 Moving Toward Career Alignment Without Major Life Changes Are you feeling stretched thin while trying to crush it at work and keep up with everything at home? Burnout might be looming and that isn’t just because you’re doing too much. It’s often about doing the wrong kind of work. Patrick created the Working Genius assessment to help you discover what kind of work gives you energy and what drains it. It’s helped me find more balance, not by doing less, but by focusing on what I’m actually wired for. If you’re a CEO, entrepreneur, or anyone trying to level up in business and life, take the Working Genius assessment today and get 20% off with code LHS at https://www.workinggenius.com/  xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

18 Joulu 20251h 7min

What’s the secret to a marriage full of love, happiness, and success? Happy, thriving couples know that achieving your couple goals—and treating growth like a shared adventure—is what creates deep connection and long-term happiness. In this episode, you’ll learn how to uncover obstacles in relationships, communicate proactively, deepen emotional intimacy, and strengthen your bond through intentional, growth-focused love. So many couples set goals for their careers, finances, or personal growth, but rarely pause to ask: What are we working toward together? I’m revisiting this episode because the conversation feels just as relevant now as when it first aired. Joined by licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach Sarah B., we talk about how couples can take a proactive, growth-focused approach to building a strong, connected marriage—long before problems turn into crises. We explore why emotional awareness and communication skills are often missing from our early relationship education, and how that gap quietly creates distance over time. You’ll hear practical ways couples can clarify shared goals, stay connected through busy seasons of life, and create emotional safety around some of the most sensitive topics in a marriage, including communication, intimacy, sex, and money. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: If your relationship mattered just as much as every other goal in your life, what would you start doing differently together? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Achieving Your Couple Goals: Love, Happiness, and Success in a Marriage 00:44 Designing Your Shared Future Together 05:48 Uncover Obstacles in Relationships Before Crisis Hits 09:31 Be Willing to Be Messy: The Mindset That Builds Emotional Intimacy 15:41 The Relationship Check-In That Helps Couples Communicate Proactively 19:17 The “Powerball” Exercise to Clarify Couple Goals and Values 22:45 Quality Time That Actually Feels Connecting 30:10 Communicate Proactively: Naming Needs Before You Get Triggered 32:13 Empathy and Boundaries When Conversations Escalate 40:04 Sex and Money: Emotional Safety and Radical Honesty If you’re thinking about what you want for your relationship moving forward, I’d love to offer you a gentle next step. As a listener of the podcast, this is my way of inviting you into a more supported, intentional process. You can answer three quick questions to help us understand what’s feeling most important in your relationship right now and what kind of support would be the best fit. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. From there, we’ll help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert—someone who can support you in clarifying your couple goals, strengthening emotional intimacy, and building a relationship grounded in love, happiness, and success. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

15 Joulu 202553min

Do you ever find yourself longing for deeper human connection, yet unsure how to actually make it happen? So many people are trying to overcome loneliness while craving friendships that genuinely support their happiness, well-being, and the desire to grow and heal. In this episode, we explore what strengthens your social wellness - from simple practices that help you reconnect with yourself to meaningful experiences that help you feel happier. My guest today is Julia Hotz, a solutions-focused journalist and award-winning author of The Connection Cure. Julia has spent years studying why loneliness is so widespread, what it does to our bodies and minds, and why meaningful relationships feel harder to build than ever. Today, we discuss social prescribing - an emerging practice where doctors and therapists “prescribe” activities like art classes, forest walks, or book clubs based on what matters to you most. These aren’t hobbies for the sake of hobbies; they’re structured ways of reconnecting with joy, identity, and people who help you feel more like yourself. Julia shares powerful stories, including Glenn, a 92-year-old veteran who went from weeks of silence to a real friendship, and Jonas, who lives with social anxiety and found that culture, music, and stories were his bridge back to connection. We talk about why meaningful relationships aren’t just about companionship but self-expansion, helping you understand who you are through the people you connect with. We also explore the internal obstacles that make it harder to overcome loneliness: time constraints, social anxiety, and the awkwardness many people still feel after years of disrupted connection. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why social connection and strong relationships boost health and happiness 00:40 Introducing Julia Hotz and The Connection Cure 01:11 How the UK’s minister of loneliness sparked social prescribing 06:47 What loneliness really is and how it impacts your brain and body 10:26 Self-expansion: how deep relationships help you know yourself 12:28 Rebuilding community: from Bowling Alone to modern social prescribing 14:21 Glenn and Ryan’s story: loneliness to friendship at age 92 18:05 Social anxiety and culture “vitamins”: easier ways to meet people 23:20 How people connect differently: activities, intimacy, and friendship 26:18 Flipping “What’s wrong with me?” to “What matters to me?” 31:14 Why 20 minutes in nature can reset your mind and attention 38:35 How to “prescribe yourself” connection and build a values-based social life If something in this episode resonates and you’re thinking, “I don’t want to feel this alone anymore,” we would love to support you. At Growing Self, you can schedule a free consultation to get connected with a therapist or coach on my team who truly understands what it takes to overcome loneliness and build meaningful human connection. You’ll be able to chat with someone who can walk alongside you as you strengthen your social wellness, rebuild friendships, and feel happier. Schedule a free consultation today. You are worthy of relationships where you feel seen, chosen, and emotionally safe. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

11 Joulu 202549min

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we’re unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what’s on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you’re longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place! My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body’s way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life. We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You 03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis 05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework 09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed 12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm 16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed 18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care 25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity 32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter 42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff 48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being If you’re living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don’t have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what’s really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you’re carrying. Schedule a consultation today! You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

8 Joulu 202556min