Beowulf (1999)

Remember when we covered "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" and wondered why Christopher Lambert had be replaced as Raiden? This week, we got our answer: Shat The Movies' favorite Frenchman was busy filming "Beowulf."

On paper, this 1999 sci-fi adaptation of the Old English epic poem sounds like a disaster. In fact, movie commissioner Emmet in Orange had never even seen "Beowulf" when he requested a review.

Filmed on a $3 million budget, this Mortal Kombat-style action-adventure is loaded with anachronistic dialogue, comically odd weapons, overcomplicated gadgets, incredible cleavage and combat that mostly consists of doing flips.

This movie's plot armor makes "Game of Thrones" Season 8 seem reasonable. The soundtrack and bring-your-own-costume style feel like we've slipped into a 1990s Romanian rave, and watching poor Rhona Mitra seduce Christopher Lambert hurt our souls.

In this episode, we discuss the monster who could have been beaten by Kevin McCallister, the succubus who stepped right off the set of a Whitesnake video and how Big D gained 24 pounds in just four days of hanging out with Gene.

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Jaksot(491)

Rocky (1976)

Rocky (1976)

It's the annual Shat The Movies Fantasy Football Champion's Commission! In this episode, we dive deep into Rocky beyond the punches and training montages. Gene Lyons and Big D explore Adrian's subtle ...

3 Huhti 1h 4min

Men in Black (1997)

Men in Black (1997)

This week on Shat the Movies, we're suiting up for Men in Black (1997), where aliens live among us, the government knows everything, and Will Smith learns the hard way not to touch the red button. Gen...

27 Maalis 1h 5min

They Live (1988)

They Live (1988)

This week, Shat The Movies puts on the sunglasses and uncovers John Carpenter's They Live, the cult classic that turns Reagan-era paranoia into a full-blown alien conspiracy. Starring "Rowdy" Roddy Pi...

21 Maalis 1h 6min

Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

This week on Shat the Movies, we're asking the important question: what if Bigfoot was just… a really hairy houseguest? Harry and the Hendersons (1987) brings us a giant, gentle creature, a suburban f...

17 Maalis 1h 4min

Quick Change (1990)

Quick Change (1990)

Shat The Movies heads to New York City for Quick Change, the 1990 crime comedy starring Bill Murray as a master planner who pulls off the perfect bank robbery… only to discover escaping Manhattan is t...

12 Maalis 1h 11min

Twins (1988)

Twins (1988)

This week, Shat The Movies tackles one of the most bafflingly successful high-concept comedies of the '80s: Twins, the movie that asked, "What if Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito were geneticall...

28 Helmi 1h 13min

Top Secret! (1984)

Top Secret! (1984)

This week, Shat The Movies heads behind the Iron Curtain—or at least a Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker version of it—with Top Secret!, the absurdist spy spoof that introduced the world to Val Kilmer as a legit...

20 Helmi 1h 8min

Stakeout (1987)

Stakeout (1987)

This week, Shat The Movies parks the surveillance van and cracks open Stakeout, the 1987 buddy-cop hit that proved Richard Dreyfuss could be both wildly neurotic and a believable romantic lead. Gene a...

12 Helmi 1h 3min

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