"Raise that bar, sis!"

"Raise that bar, sis!"

I have yet to know a human who has not made concessions in at least one of their relationships – between the gaslighting that we experience in our families, religious establishments, society, friendships, and intimate partners, it’s near impossible to not internalize things that cause us to doubt the validity of our desires and needs, and when that has happened, what is and is not okay in a relationship becomes blurry… so we settle… and so, so many of us end up lowering our bar in our relationships. In fact, I’ve had many clients sadly say their bar ended up on the ground. Today, my guest and I are going to share stories and insights from our own lives, and in doing so, hope to inspire you to Raise your bar sis!

In case you missed it last week, I have got a REALLY exciting offering for you today! I am about to partner with WORTH to do a special adaptation of my empowerment program. In this class, you get LIVE teaching & LIVE Q and A time with me, and you get to do this with other women whose questions and insights will add to your own journey. Can’t make the live class? You can watch the recordings, submit your questions via an online document, and I’ll answer your question in the next class! All this for about 1/3 the cost of what it would be to do a group cohort with me. If you’re interested, please go here. Class begins March 6th.

Story Time: Sarah and Annie talk about times that they made concessions and settled for less than you wanted and/or needed, and ended up lowering their bar. From exes, to new people they were dating, to friendships and jobs - what happened, WHY it happened, and how they learned how to stop self-abandoning and making concessions!

Top Take-Aways:

  • If self-love feels too big, start with self-acceptance; and if self-acceptance feels too big, start with self-awareness.
  • Externalize your relationship with yourself, and then view that relationship like you do the people you love - are you loving yourself well - FIRST?
  • Set mutuality/reciprocity as the place you set your bar - don't settle for less than you give.


If you want to understand more about the ways gaslighting has shown up in your life and robbed you of being able to be free to be you (and make those concessions), check out my website. I have a number of offerings that will help you break the hold gaslighting has had over you and help you step into that Radical self-love.


Also, please follow me on your preferred social media platform, and connect with me there! I’d love to hear your thoughts, questions, and feedback, and that is where we can do that! I’m on Facebook, Instagram, and Tiktok.

And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, you’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.

Jaksot(78)

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