99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)
Apocrypals30 Tammi 2022

99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)

You've heard of Solomon, right, Theophiloi? The king so wise that he once threatened to cut a baby in half? Well, if you were looking for more examples of this famous wisdom, we have some bad news for you: it sure as heck ain't in Bible. Instead, we get a lot about decorative gourds and a little about bathing in blood in One Kings as we kick off a new year on the show!

Topics of Discussion: A busy start to 2022 TYOOL, the Queen's DBZ phase, a hot political take, "The Big Game," a really fun thing listeners do about Benito pronouncing Hebrew that is just so fun for us, a human slanket, a comic that really s*cks, Solomon's extremely cool chair, Ahab (Earth-616).

Hymnal: "King of Kings" by Mötorhead, "Take A Chance on Me" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church.

Jaksot(126)

Bonus: Biblical Mini-Golf

Bonus: Biblical Mini-Golf

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8 Touko 20251h 9min

117: King Solomon's Hog (The Second Book of Chronicles, feat. Aaron Higashi)

117: King Solomon's Hog (The Second Book of Chronicles, feat. Aaron Higashi)

Yes, Theophiloi, that quote at the top of the show is actually in Bible. Like, full canon Bible that you can find in the back of the pew or the hotel room drawer. I was surprised too, but you know who...

18 Helmi 20251h 51min

116: It's His BIRTHDAY, Be Nice! (The Revelation of the Magi)

116: It's His BIRTHDAY, Be Nice! (The Revelation of the Magi)

O come, all ye Theophiloi, joyful and triumphant, to the final Apocrypals episode of 2024! We two kings of podcasting are reading a story about a talking star as we dive into the Revelation of the Mag...

22 Joulu 20241h 46min

115: Hell Is The Big Show (The Life of St. Christina the Astonishing)

115: Hell Is The Big Show (The Life of St. Christina the Astonishing)

CONTENT WARNING: Our discussion of St. Christina includes mention of self-harm and mental illness. It's Halloween, TheoKILLoi, and that means it's time once again for our annual tradition of Haints a...

27 Loka 20241h 39min

114: Sin-onyms, The Devil's Argument (The Martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity)

114: Sin-onyms, The Devil's Argument (The Martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity)

If you learn nothing else from our show, Theophiloi, let it be this: Never send a cow to do a leopard's job. This, for the record, is not a metaphor, it's the lesson that we learn from the passion of ...

3 Loka 20241h 45min

113: Jaoel Instant Messenger (The Apocalypse of Abraham)

113: Jaoel Instant Messenger (The Apocalypse of Abraham)

Grab your turtledoves and get to stranglin', Theophiloi, because we're taking another trip to the Seventh Firmament, and this time we're bringing good ol' Father Abraham in the years before he had his...

5 Syys 20241h 50min

112: Approximate Week VI: The Undiscovered Country

112: Approximate Week VI: The Undiscovered Country

Leave cookies and milk for the werewolves and a thorn bush on your doorstep for St. Benedict, Theophiloi, because it's Approximate Week once again! We're celebrating the eight nights between our birth...

17 Elo 20242h 37min

111: All Skips No Hits (1 Chronicles)

111: All Skips No Hits (1 Chronicles)

Open your ears to hear, Theophiloi! Your humble Sons of Thunder are back in style with a return to the show and to Canon Bible, just in time to kick off your Approximate Week celebrations! As promised...

9 Elo 20241h 28min

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