423: The Feared Fantasy Festival

The Feared Fantasy Festival! Featuring Jill Levitt, PhD

Rhonda asked about the differences between the four Feared Fantasy Techniques and what each one is used for. So we're dedicating today's podcast to answering that question and bringing them all to life. We are honored to be joined by our beloved and brilliant Dr. Jill Levitt, the Director of Clinician Training at the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California.

Below I have listed the four Feared Fantasy Techniques. As you can see, each one targets a different Self-Defeating Belief.

• Approval Addiction: I need everyone's approval to feel happy and worthwhile.
• Perceived Perfectionism: I must impress others to be love and respected. People will not love or accept me if they see my flaws and shortcomings.
• Achievement Addiction: My capacity for happiness and my worthwhileness as a human being depend on my achievements, intelligence, success, and productivity.
• Love Addiction: I need to be loved to feel happy and worthwhile.
• Submissiveness: I must make others happy, even at the expense of my own needs and feelings.

Here are the Feared Fantasy Techniques used for each SDB:

• Approval Addiction / Perceived Perfectionism: "I judge you."
• Achievement Addiction: "High School Reunion."
• Love Addiction: Rejection Feared Fantasy
• Submissiveness: No Practice

During the live podcast, we did a deep dive on each of the four Feared Fantasy techniques, and emphasized that the goal is actually enlightenment, and it's based on the teachings Tibetan Book of the Dead that when you finally challenge and confront the monster you've feared and run away from in all of your previous reincarnations, you will discover the the monster has no teeth, and that your fears throughout all of those reincarnations were based on a cosmic joke. This can create something called "laughing enlightenment," so you no longer have to go through the life death cycle, but can go instead to Nirvana--or something along those lines!

You really must listen to the podcast to "get" the impact of these Feared Fantasy role plays, and role-reversals, to see how simple, easy, and obvious self-acceptance, and enlightenment really are, and you will see and hear how we fight to protect and defend ourselves from attack, and end up feeling trapped yet again in our needs to be "special" or "worthwhile." David pointed out that when you let go of the idea that you have a "self," your suffering can disappear because you will no longer have to wonder whether your "self" is good enough, or worthwhile enough.

Jill complemented this line of thinking by pointing out that the technique, Be Specific, is one important key in most of these techniques. We can be flawed in all kinds of specifics, but that will never hurt unless you generalize to your "self." No self, no problem, as some mystics have said. And that is SO TRUE!

David also discussed throwing away the idea that you are worthwhile, or that you need to be more worthwhile, and described how he and his wife saved a mouse that had somehow gotten into their house, but the poor thing was terrified and heroically tried to survive, hiding out in their kitchen. Instead of trying to kill it, they fed it nuts and grapes. Eventually, they caught it in a safe trap, and set it free, and left a last meal for it outside, which it found and happily ate.

It was a deep dive on Feared Fantasy and lots of spiritual and philosophical topics, and we hope you enjoyed it!

Although we did not cover this topic in the podcast, there are quite a number of additional role play techniques in TEAM-CBT, too, as you know, including:

to help with Self-Critical Thoughts:

• Paradoxical and Straightforward Double Standard
• Externalization of Voices

to help with Uncovering Techniques, like the Individual Downward Arrow

• Man from Mars

To help with Tempting Thoughts

• Devil's Advocate Technique
• Tic-Tok Technique

to help with Resistance

• Externalization of Resistance
• How Many Minutes?

to help with the Five Secrets / Relationship Conflict

• Intimacy Exercise
• One Minute-Drill

Perhaps you can think of more, too! The generous use of role-playing techniques is one of the unique features of TEAM, but for whatever reason it seems like few therapists use them. This is perhaps unfortunate because they tend to be more potent, emotional, and fast acting than many if not most other techniques.

Warmly,

david