Baby-Making Playoff Quarterfinal: Presidents, Chimps & NCIS
¡Ay, Jorge!24 Touko 2021

Baby-Making Playoff Quarterfinal: Presidents, Chimps & NCIS

What do Che Guevara, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy and Mark Harmon have in common? I'll tell you! At one point during this podcast's first season, my 89-year-old mom chose each of these men as sexual partners during the "Who Would you Make a Baby With?" segment of our show. Che beat out Nikita Krushchev, Reagan (AND his chimp, Bonzo) handily won over the young newlyweds Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter -- that's right, my mom chose an actor with a monkey over another future President and dignified humanitarian. That was back in Episode 2, where Rita hilariously first uttered the words "I'd tie the monkey down." THIS episode is something of a retrospective disguised as a playoff. Our listeners have spoken (loudly), demanding to know which one would Rita choose from all the men she's, um, loved before (thinking of the the Willie Nelson/Julio Iglesias ballad, except this one's inverse a la Willy Chirino/Dwight Yoakum! Well, maybe not, but either way, ya'll want a Baby Making Champion we gonna crown a Baby Making Champion!). In this episode, Che, Ronnie, JFK, and Marky Mark Harmon go up against each other in what could be described as a quarterfinal. Jorge prods Rita into discussing the pros/cons of each baby maker with the occasional detour into Communist Cuba's failed agricultural policies and good, ol' equity-slash-inclusion ("Why no Asians or people of darker colors??"). The winner will go on to compete against the upcoming (Episode 11) quarterfinal winner. Whoever Rita chooses in this episode will go on to face one of the following great men: Pope Francis, Augusto Pinochet, Elon Musk or Bernie Sanders. Get your headphones on and bring your A-Game. Rita's ready to make some babies!

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