213. Rethinks: Building Trusting Relationships Through Communication

How to turn doubt and suspicion into hopefulness and trust.

There’s a lot in the world to make us cynical about other people and their motives and intentions. But by “trusting loudly,” Professor Jamil Zaki believes we can renew our faith in one another.

Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford, director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience lab, and author of several books, including his most recent, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. While many people feel suspicious of others and are reluctant to trust them, Zaki finds that relying on other people is a necessary part of forming relationships.

“Acts of trust are the bedrock on which relationships are formed,” Zaki says. “The only way that strangers become friends and friends become best friends, the only way that we can build partnerships is through a willingness to count on one another.”

In this Rethinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Zaki joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss practical strategies for fostering trust and challenging our cynical assumptions, offering a hopeful perspective on human nature, backed by surprising scientific insights.

Episode Reference Links:

• Jamil Zaki
• Jamil’s Lab: Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab
• Jamil’s Book: Hope for Cynics
• Ep.158 Hope for Cynics: Building Trusting Relationships through Communication
• Ep.84 Quick Thinks: How Others Define Us
• Ep.129 Connect Deeply: How to Communicate So People Feel Seen and Heard

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• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (03:45) - Defining Trust and Its Importance
• (04:36) - Building Better Trust
• (06:07) - Understanding Cynicism
• (08:29) - The Cynicism Spectrum
• (10:49) - Fostering Hopeful Skepticism
• (13:03) - Challenges of Overcoming Cynicism
• (14:55) - Positive Gossip and Positive Noticing
• (17:53) - Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
• (20:49) - The Final Three Questions
• (29:11) - Conclusion

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