(Archive) 113. The Era of the All-or-Nothing Marriage with Eli Finkel

Eli Finkel is a social psychology professor at Northwestern University who studies romantic relationships and American politics, and has been named by The Economist as “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.” He set out thinking—and intending to prove—that we were ruining the institution of marriage by putting so much pressure on our partner to meet many of our emotional and psychological needs. He found out that he was wrong: While the average marriage today is worse than the average marriage in the 1950’s, the best marriages today are even better. He shares some of what he learned from studying modern marriage and even some hacks from the best marriages he’s seen. We. Love. This. Book.

Eli talks about...

• How marriages have become “all-or-nothing”
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• What a good marriage looks like
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• The problem with the 1950’s marriage model
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• The COVID-19 effect on marriage
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• The happiness vs meaning model
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• How having kids impacts your marriage
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• The modern purpose of marriage
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• Love hacks for a healthy marriage

Resources:

• elifinkel.com
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• Read: "The All-or-Nothing Marriage"
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• Instagram: @elijfinkel

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