Godfather Hades, Dionysus's Attempt to Retell (And Revamp) Godfather Death from the Brothers Grimm

Send over your dead SMS messages. Is it good? Who knows? Was it fun? Definitely! The story went something like this: a father who was down on his luck couldn't feed or care for his thirteenth child, so he decided to find the kid a godfather. Why didn't he just send him to the Mafia? I don't know. Anyway, he rejects God and the Devil, because one has his favorites and the other lies, cheats, and steals. Finally, when Death comes along, the guy's like, "Hey! Death comes for us all. If my boy ha...