002 | Denial and Grieving the Child You Thought You Were Going to Have

Do you feel anger, jealousy, and resentment because your child isn't who you dreamed of when you thought about being a parent? Do you feel way over your head and that you and your child have been short-changed due to a medical diagnosis? Grieving over a life you prepared for and fantasized about is totally normal and actually very healthy. Us moms feel such shame around grieving because we are supposed to be thankful and grateful for what we have. But sometimes life has other plans, and we are just along for the ride. Denial is the first stage in grief and sometimes the hardest one to get over. But there are ways to be able to look at areas of fear and get through them even when we don't feel like we can face them. Every mom who has a child with a neurological disability, autism, epilepsy, etc., grieves. It is because of fear of the unknown and sadness that our child may suffer and we don't know how to help them. We are angry that all the dreams we had might never happen and we feel worried that life will be harder than our children and we can handle. The reason I am doing this podcast is that I had a PROFOUND event happen in my journey of being a special needs parent, that changed my life completely. I went from being utterly miserable, worried, filled with anxiety, jealous, confused, overwhelmed and afraid to complete and total acceptance. When I was able to accept that my daughter had epilepsy and autism and that life was going to look different for us, it changed the way I parented, it washed my fear away, it made my soul calm and rested. Acceptance gave me hope and excitement and filled me with unconditional love. Love for myself and my daughter and the situation. It made me appreciate the journey and what its here to teach me and the world and gave me the answer to the question “Why this disease and autism for Remy? Why me? Why anyone” This was 2 years ago, and ever since then, I want for EVERYONE who is raising a  child with extra needs, to come to the point of complete and total acceptance. You deserve a life of joy happiness even though it looks different than you thought. But before we get there, we have to walk through the crummy stages first.   I have decided to talk about the stages of grief being a special needs parent. If we spend all our time and energy in a state of resistance, we can never have the strength we need, or our children need to thrive in life. The first stage of grief and what this episode is about is denial. Denial comes in all shapes and sizes and is a natural defense mechanism to protect us. Sometimes the fear is so great, that denial is a way that makes us not have to face the fear. The goal is to recognize the areas that we really shouldn't ignore and realize we are stronger than we think, and we find the answers along the way. Enjoy this episode and tell me what you think. Here are all the places you can find me Facebook : Page: Accepting the Unacceptable https://www.facebook.com/acceptingtheunacceptable/   Friend me: Jody Warshawsky https://www.facebook.com/jodywarshawsky   FB Group: Accepting the Unacceptable Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/608571542825070/   Instagram: Jody Warshawsky / Accepting the Unacceptable https://www.instagram.com/jody.warshawsky/   Website: acceptingtheunacceptable.com   E-mail: jodyandremy@gmail.com mailto:jodyandremy@gmail.com