The Assassins Blade: Novellas 4-5

Episode Title: The Assassin’s Blade – Part 2 (Sewer Romances, Toxic Assassin Daddies & RIP, you deserved better)

Description: The Romantasy Roundtable is back to finish the prequel, and we are emotionally compromised. Amanda, Kim, and Rick tackle the final two novellas of The Assassin’s Blade: The Assassin and the Underworld and The Assassin and the Empire. We witness the rise and tragic fall of a dear friend, discuss why Arobynn Hamel is the ultimate gaslighting "Assassin Daddy," and question Celaena Sardothien’s decision-making skills.

But before the heartbreak, we have important business to attend to: Amanda decodes a prophetic dream about a lip piercing (and why her face is swollen), the crew debates NYC snowstorm survival (Team Trader Joe’s Meal Prep vs. Team Bodega Cat), and we finally, FINALLY,get a medical definition for the Inner Hip.

Key Topics Discussed:

Love in a Hopeless Place (A Sewer): We break down the pivotal scene where Celaena and Sam finally admit their feelings while drowning in wastewater. It’s gross, it’s dramatic, and it’s the only acceptable place for a first makeout session in this series apparently.

Arobynn Hamel Hate Club: We dissect the manipulation of the King of the Assassins. From the creepy gifts to buying Lysandra’s virginity, he solidifies his status as a top-tier villain (who we wouldn't trust to hold our drink).

The Inner Hip Resolved: Shoutout to our listener Jamie for solving the mystery! We now know it’s near the pelvic joint/bikini tie area, though Amanda still insists it is not an erogenous zone. Only time will tell

RIP: The crew reacts to the off-screen death, the torture by Farran, and the devastating scene at the mortuary. We discuss why this prequel was necessary to understand Celaena’s trauma going into Throne of Glass.

"I Will Not Be Afraid": We analyze the ending, the Salt Mines of Endovier, and the iconic mantra that defines the rest of the series (even if Rick quoted it wrong).

Closing: Dry your tears, we are done with the prequel!

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Ignore what we said in the outro! After the mics turned off, we decided to pivot. We are skipping Bound by Vengeance and diving straight into Throne of Glass next week. Chapters 1–26. Be there.