When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

When "I Understand" Can Hurt And Why: Healing the Wound of Unvalidated Grief

In this solo episode, therapist and host Malisa Hepner unpacks why grief can feel so activating when someone says they "understand" your loss—especially when comparisons miss the mark. She explores how these moments often trigger deep neglect wounds and a fear that our pain isn't being seen or honored. Rather than staying in victimhood or demanding external validation, Malisa invites listeners into a more grounded truth: our pain does not need to be validated by others to be real. Through compassionate reflection, she shares how healing begins when we recognize our triggers, take responsibility for our inner safety, and learn to validate ourselves—without minimizing the depth of our grief, or others.

  • Notice the trigger: when you feel invalidated, name the neglect wound being activated.

  • Release victimhood by separating your pain from others' capacity to understand it.

  • Practice self-validation: affirm the reality and depth of your grief without comparison.

  • Create internal safety by meeting your pain with compassion before seeking it externally.

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  • $10-Benefits listed above and free access to monthly workbook

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https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

Contact Jen Taylor: jentaylorfani@gmail.com Jen Taylor Insta, Jen Taylor Books

Episoder(289)

Parenting Without Perfection: Building Emotional Intelligence and Connection with Your Kids

Parenting Without Perfection: Building Emotional Intelligence and Connection with Your Kids

In this conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner, and Kamini Wood, mom, trauma informed coach, speaker and podcast host, explore the realities of modern parenting through the lens of emotional i...

25 Feb 50min

From Loss to Self-Discovery: Psychedelics, Emotional Regulation & Personal Growth

From Loss to Self-Discovery: Psychedelics, Emotional Regulation & Personal Growth

In this deeply reflective conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with Julie Cyvonne, a former attorney turned high-performance psychedelic coach, to explore the transformative inters...

23 Feb 48min

Understanding Grief, Anger, and Self-Compassion: Rewriting Your Inner Narrative

Understanding Grief, Anger, and Self-Compassion: Rewriting Your Inner Narrative

In this honest and emotionally grounded conversation, therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down again with Holli Howard, trauma-informed life coach, gentle guide, and founder of Positive Living Coach...

20 Feb 51min

Psychedelics, Healing, and Self-Acceptance: Navigating Trauma, Grief, and Personal Transformation

Psychedelics, Healing, and Self-Acceptance: Navigating Trauma, Grief, and Personal Transformation

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, and John Borden, Author, Ultramarathon runner, psychonaut, visionary,  explore the complex intersection of psychedelics, trauma healing, and personal transformation....

18 Feb 44min

Grief, Isolation, and Healing: Learning to Ask for Support After Loss

Grief, Isolation, and Healing: Learning to Ask for Support After Loss

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, shares her lived experience of navigating grief after the loss of her son, Jake. She opens up about the waves of isolation, the disorienting nature of loss, and the ...

16 Feb 47min

Emotional Abuse, Autoimmune Illness & the Mind-Body Connection: A Journey of Healing

Emotional Abuse, Autoimmune Illness & the Mind-Body Connection: A Journey of Healing

Therapist and host Malisa Hepner sits down with Keegan Read, host of the Retrieving Sanity podcast, for an honest conversation about trauma, health, and emotional recovery. Keegan shares his journey t...

13 Feb 1h 9min

From Trauma to Transformation: How Somatic Movement Creates Emotional Freedom

From Trauma to Transformation: How Somatic Movement Creates Emotional Freedom

In this powerful conversation, therapist and podcast host Malisa Hepner sits down with Angel Howard, Certified Somatic Therapist, Executive Coach, and inspirational speaker, to explore how somatic hea...

11 Feb 56min

Somatic Healing Through Movement: How to Release Stored Emotions and Build Self-Trust

Somatic Healing Through Movement: How to Release Stored Emotions and Build Self-Trust

Therapist and host, Malisa Hepner, sits down with Licensed Somatic Psychotherapist and author of "Shake Yourself Free", Melanie Smithson, to explore the power of somatic practices and authentic moveme...

9 Feb 53min

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