Brandi and AJ’s Story: Mormon to Atheist to Christian

In this episode, Brandi and AJ share how unanswered questions, painful discovery, and an honest search for truth led them from “grinding for godhood” in Mormonism to encountering the real Jesus of the Bible.

Check out Brandi's Book: The Journey to Jesus: Finding Christ after Leaving Mormonism

Brandi's Instagram

--

The Unveiling Mormonism podcast pulls back the curtain on Mormon history, culture and doctrine. Join us for new episodes every Monday.

Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/mormonism.

Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.

Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.

Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.

Donate Now

--

Brandi and AJ’s Story: Mormon to Atheist to Christian

Brandi and AJ were doing everything “right.” They were BYU grads, married, building a life, raising kids, and fully committed to the LDS vision of a faithful future. AJ describes it like “grinding for godhood”—a life built on steps, worthiness, temple goals, and constant striving. But then the foundation started to crack.

For AJ, some of the doctrinal history raised unsettling questions (including ideas like “blood atonement,” which they mention they’ll unpack later). For Brandi, the tipping point was watching changes in the LDS church after COVID and feeling like the church was shifting in a more progressive direction. She tried to address it the way a devoted member would: she wrote letters to Salt Lake City headquarters about what she saw as inconsistency—especially related to abortion and human life. She wasn’t trying to tear anything down. She genuinely believed the LDS church was true, and she wanted it to be consistent.

But the response felt dismissive—more like a polite pat on the head than a meaningful engagement. That frustration pushed them into a place they never thought they’d go: researching.

Looking for answers… without wanting to “deconstruct”

Brandi makes an important clarification: they weren’t hunting for “gotcha” moments. They didn’t go searching because they assumed the church was false. In fact, they needed it to be true. That’s why reading outside sources felt dangerous. AJ describes that fear as avoiding the “cognitive dissonance fire”—because their hearts were convinced, and they didn’t want their minds persuaded that everything was a lie.

But once they started reading, the “genie” didn’t go back in the bottle.

They looked at sources like MormonThink because it included multiple perspectives—both critical claims and apologetic responses. That felt more balanced. Still, it wasn’t official, and Brandi felt guilty even being there. Eventually, as more historical issues piled up (like multiple First Vision accounts, questions surrounding the Book of Abraham, and other details they had never been taught), Brandi felt desperate for the church itself to clarify things. So they turned to the Gospel Topics Essays—official LDS content hosted on the LDS website.

That’s where everything shifted.

Instead of restoring confidence, the essays confirmed key issues and, in Brandi’s view, exposed more “spin” than clarity. For the first time, she seriously wrestled with the question: What if the church isn’t true?

The crossroads: nuance or truth

AJ explains how people often survive early doubts by “nuancing” their faith—making room for uncomfortable data while keeping the system intact. But eventually, they reached a crossroads: Would they live in a growing pile of nuance just to keep the community and structure—or would they follow truth wherever it led, even if it cost them everything?

For them, it took about six months of intense study—re-reading, checking footnotes, cross-referencing sources, and trying to disprove what they were learning. And then came a painful realization: staying “for the good parts” wasn’t enough. They feared raising their kids inside something they no longer believed—only to have their kids later say, “You knew, and you still taught us.”

So they left.

Why ex-Mormons often leave faith altogether

They explain why this often leads to losing all faith. Mormonism doesn’t just shape beliefs—it shapes identity, habits, relationships, and your entire framework for “the good life.” If you were taught you had the pinnacle of truth—and it collapses—then everything else can feel like lesser options or chaos.

AJ’s next step was simple: keep morality, keep family values, and “worship God in the mountains.” Brandi’s journey was darker at first. For a moment, atheism felt peaceful—like relief from endless striving and spiritual pressure. But that peace didn’t last. Holding her baby, she started asking deeper questions: Why is there something rather than nothing? Where does consciousness come from? Can I really trust my feelings to define truth?

She realized she needed sturdier ground than emotion and authority.

A new search: truth, the Bible, and the resurrection

Brandi began exploring arguments for God, morality, and the reliability of the Old Testament. That season pulled her into what she calls her “Jewish era”—not literally converting, but deeply studying the Hebrew Scriptures and seeing how unique the Bible’s ethical monotheism really is.

But she also noticed something: the story didn’t feel finished.

Eventually, the Old Testament pushed her toward the question she didn’t want to touch: Jesus. After years of associating His name with LDS pain and betrayal, she approached Jesus through a historical lens: Who was this man who changed the world’s calendar? Why does every major worldview have to deal with Him?

Then she went straight to the hinge point: the resurrection.

Because if Jesus rose from the dead, He is not just a teacher—He is Lord. And if He is Lord, then Christianity isn’t another “system.” It’s a surrender. Brandi describes the moment she felt the implications land: If this is true, it’s the most important event in human history.

AJ’s journey took a different route. He had to be confronted with sin—not just mistakes, but real guilt before a holy God. The Bible dismantled his “good person” confidence. He began to see that the gospel isn’t self-improvement. It’s rescue.

That’s the contrast they highlight:

1. In Mormonism, the “problem” is untapped potential.
2. In Christianity, the problem is sin and separation from God.
3. In Mormonism, the “solution” is a system of ordinances and obedience.
4. In Christianity, the solution is Jesus—His finished work, received by faith.

And that’s where their story is headed: not toward a better version of themselves, but toward a Savior who actually saves.

Scripture References (NLT): Jeremiah 29:13; Mark 4:9; Isaiah 53:5-6; Romans 3:10-12; Isaiah 64:6; Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8-9; 1 Corinthians 15:3-8.