Why You Feel Unloved | 5 Research-backed Shifts That Change How Love Feels | Harry Reis

Why You Feel Unloved | 5 Research-backed Shifts That Change How Love Feels | Harry Reis

You can be deeply loved and still feel alone, even when your life is filled with people who care about you.


Many of us assume that love automatically translates into feeling loved. But research shows that isn’t how it works. In this conversation, we explore why connection can be present, yet the feeling of being loved never quite lands and what actually helps close that gap.


My guest is Harry Reis, a longtime researcher of close relationships and professor of psychology whose work has shaped how we understand intimacy, attachment, and emotional connection. He’s the co-author of How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most.


In this episode, you’ll learn:


• A powerful relational dynamic that quietly determines whether love is felt or missed

• The subtle reason giving more doesn’t always lead to feeling more connected

• A listening shift that dramatically deepens intimacy without forcing vulnerability

• Why being fully known matters more than being widely liked

• The mindset that helps love feel genuine instead of performative


If you’ve ever wondered why closeness feels harder than it should or why love doesn’t always register even when it’s present, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical insight. Press play to learn what actually helps love land.


You can find Harry at: Website | Harry's Bio | Episode Transcript


Next week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Lucy Kalanithi about what still matters when certainty disappears.


Check out our offerings & partners:


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episoder(1138)

Want Real, Lasting Change? It’s Time to Try a Different Approach. | Eric Zimmer

Want Real, Lasting Change? It’s Time to Try a Different Approach. | Eric Zimmer

Stop blaming willpower and start building the skill of making change stick for good. Pretty much every person wants to change something, about themselves, their lives, or situation. But, so few ever s...

23 Mar 47min

How Toxic Positivity Wrecks Lives & Relationships (and What to Cultivate Instead) | Dr. Deepika Chopra

How Toxic Positivity Wrecks Lives & Relationships (and What to Cultivate Instead) | Dr. Deepika Chopra

Turns out, "good vibes only" might be making you feel worse. Today, we’re exploring why the "good vibes only, stay positive, look on the bright side," movement is often more harmful than helpful and h...

19 Mar 59min

Relationship Agreements: A Powerful Way to Deepen Love & Lessen Conflict | Krista & Will Van Derveer

Relationship Agreements: A Powerful Way to Deepen Love & Lessen Conflict | Krista & Will Van Derveer

Want a deeper, more secure, fiercely connected relationship? Then, you’ll want to check out the power of relationship agreements. In this episode, we sit down with Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer. Wil...

16 Mar 59min

How to Connect With Anyone | Charles Duhigg

How to Connect With Anyone | Charles Duhigg

Being a super-communicator isn’t a gift, it’s a skill anyone can learn.Ever wish you were the person who could talk to anyone with ease? Like anyone you came in contact with became instant friends, co...

12 Mar 1h 2min

When to Quit (Jobs or People): How “Jolts” Drive Big Changes | Anthony Klotz

When to Quit (Jobs or People): How “Jolts” Drive Big Changes | Anthony Klotz

How do you know when to leave a job or relationship? Look for the jolts.Ready to quit your job but unsure if it’s right? A single comment, missed opportunity, or subtle slight can suddenly make everyt...

9 Mar 51min

Michael Pollan: Wake Up & Reclaim Your Attention

Michael Pollan: Wake Up & Reclaim Your Attention

Your mind is under siege. Every day, technology and noise fight to hijack your attention, leaving you feeling less present and more distracted than ever. In a word, unconscious.It’s time to stop the s...

5 Mar 42min

Thrive in an Empty Nest: The "Open Door" Strategy for Lasting Happiness | Gretchen Rubin

Thrive in an Empty Nest: The "Open Door" Strategy for Lasting Happiness | Gretchen Rubin

Your kids leaving isn’t an ending; it’s an open door to a more intentional version of you. Many of us spend decades organizing our entire identities around our children, only to feel a staggering sens...

2 Mar 47min

Set Boundaries Without Guilt, Drama or Losing the People You Love | Spotlight Convo

Set Boundaries Without Guilt, Drama or Losing the People You Love | Spotlight Convo

Tired of saying yes when you mean no and feeling resentful later? In this powerful compilation episode, you’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries without guilt, conflict, or losing the people you car...

26 Feb 1h 2min

Populært innen Fakta

fastlegen
dine-penger-pengeradet
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
treningspodden
foreldreradet
rss-strid-de-norske-borgerkrigene
rss-sunn-okonomi
jakt-og-fiskepodden
sinnsyn
takk-og-lov-med-anine-kierulf
rss-kunsten-a-leve
gravid-uke-for-uke
merry-quizmas
hverdagspsyken
smart-forklart
rss-kull
fryktlos
hagespiren-podcast
rss-var-forste-kaffe
rss-mann-i-krise-med-sagen