"I Can't Breathe." 6 Ways to Approach Heated & Emotional Topics

"I Can't Breathe." 6 Ways to Approach Heated & Emotional Topics

When approaching conversations about heated/emotional topics, there are probably 10 tips I could offer. But for now, I will offer six. This assumes that you want to build relationships, learn, and be constructive.

(If you just want to spout your opinion and don't care what emotional shape you leave another person in, then just do what 99% of people on tv and in your neighborhood do.)

1) Humility. Practice great humility. Assume you don't know all the facts, that you don't really understand the other person's perspective or experience. Assume that you're blind and have confirmation bias, that you consume opinions and viewpoints that merely reinforce your own (without even realizing it).

Assume that you will be defensive about your own deeply held beliefs. Because you will be, naturally. But fight that urge.

Assume that you don't really have the answers and that your reflexive, go-to response/opinion is probably informed by too little knowledge even though you feel justified in offering it.

2) Listen and ask questions. Often we are so busy composing our reply to the other person's views that we don't actually listen.

Be more curious about what the other person thinks than you are anxious about sharing your own thoughts.

3) Never, ever attack another person's motives...unless you want yours attacked. Few things feel worse than being misunderstood. Don't make it personal. Take the high road.

4) Assume that you're not going to convince the other person that you are right. Because you probably aren't. And that shouldn't be your goal anyway. A more mature approach is to have a desire to better understand others AND give them some perspective to think about and wrestle with in their own minds and hearts.

But if you are an overbearing jerk, or callous, or dismissive, or arrogant, they will not hear "truth" or consider your viewpoint. Why do you feel the need to prove your point? Why does this burn so deeply inside us as humans? Spend some time considering that.

5) Before you try to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye, first work on that big log in your own. Instead of trying to fix or control another human being, work on yourself. Own your own mess. That would keep each of us pretty busy every day. It's a full-time job for me.

6) Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Listen to that other person the way you want the other person to listen to you. Care for their heart, their soul, the way you want yours cared for. Respect that person's son, daughter, mother, or father the same way you want them to respect your son, daughter, mother or father.

If you and I don't do this one right, then any words or lectures or testimony about your faith ring hollow, are destined and deserved to be despised, and harm another person's soul and heart.

Relationships are more important than being right.

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Episoder(537)

Triggered By Kids’ Noises & Messes, Sibling Fights, Backtalk, Dawdling? #534

Triggered By Kids’ Noises & Messes, Sibling Fights, Backtalk, Dawdling? #534

Do you get triggered by tantrums, kids pushing your buttons and ruining your busy agenda, leaving messes everywhere, smart aleck responses, or siblings fighting with each other? Of course you do! But when you react, you make power struggles worse, behavior never changes, and relationships become strained. Kirk gives you specific action steps to overcome your triggers and break generational patterns. **Our Black Friday Sale is LIVE! Take advantage of our LOWEST prices of the year at https://celebratecalm.com/black-friday/. Email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.**COZY EARTHBlack Friday has come early at CozyEarth! Right now, use my code CALM to get up to 40% OFF in savings on top of their sitewide sale at https://CozyEarth.comHUNGRYROOT.COMGo to https://Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. KIWICO.COM Tinker, Create, and Celebrate this holiday with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code CALM.WAYFAIRHead to https://Wayfair.com to get up to 70% off on their Black Friday Sale. SKYLIGHTGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.GREENLIGHTDon’t wait to teach your kids real-world money skills. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ​https://GREENLIGHT.com/KIRK.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Nov 23min

When Kids Reflexively Say No, Reject Your Ideas, Food & Faith #533

When Kids Reflexively Say No, Reject Your Ideas, Food & Faith #533

Do you have kids who reflexively say, “No” or ask, “Why?” when you ask them to do things? Reject your ideas about food and faith? Kids who choose harsh consequences instead of simply doing what you ask? How can you handle these situations differently without giving in or creating endless power struggles? I give you scripts, strategies, and important insights. **Our Black Friday Sale is LIVE! Take advantage of our LOWEST prices of the year at https://celebratecalm.com/black-friday/. Email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.**COZY EARTHBlack Friday has come early at CozyEarth! Right now, use my code CALM to get up to 40% OFF in savings on top of their sitewide sale at https://CozyEarth.comHUNGRYROOT.COMGo to https://Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. KIWICO.COM Tinker, Create, and Celebrate this holiday with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code CALM.WAYFAIRHead to https://Wayfair.com to get up to 70% off on their Black Friday Sale. SKYLIGHTGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.GREENLIGHTDon’t wait to teach your kids real-world money skills. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ​https://GREENLIGHT.com/KIRK.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Nov 24min

Should You Celebrate Your Child Infuriating You (& Lying About It)? #532

Should You Celebrate Your Child Infuriating You (& Lying About It)? #532

You get a call from upset parents or the school yet again informing you that your child has done something inappropriate. Your child lies and tries to hide it. You would be “right” to lecture and get upset and impose harsh consequences. So why do I think you should celebrate this?! How can you turn negative situations into teaching opportunities so the lying stops? I give you 10 action steps and scripts to use. **Our Black Friday Sale begins NOW! Take advantage of our LOWEST prices of the year at https://celebratecalm.com/black-friday/. Email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.**COZY EARTHBlack Friday has come early at CozyEarth! Right now, use my code CALM to get up to 40% OFF in savings on top of their sitewide sale at https://CozyEarth.comHUNGRYROOT.COMGo to https://Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. KIWICO.COM Tinker, Create, and Celebrate this holiday with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code CALM.WAYFAIRHead to https://Wayfair.com to get up to 70% off on their Black Friday Sale. SKYLIGHTGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.GREENLIGHTDon’t wait to teach your kids real-world money skills. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ​https://GREENLIGHT.com/KIRK.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Nov 21min

Quick Tips for Dads Ep. 5: Navigating the Landmine of Kids & Sports

Quick Tips for Dads Ep. 5: Navigating the Landmine of Kids & Sports

Our Black Friday Sale begins NOW! Take advantage of our LOWEST prices of the year at https://celebratecalm.com/black-friday/. How do you navigate the landmine of kids who play sports, but won’t practice or take constructive criticism? What about kids who lose it emotionally when they lose games? I give you scripts and action steps! Email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com with any questions.COZY EARTHBlack Friday has come early at CozyEarth! Right now, use my code CALM to get up to 40% OFF in savings on top of their sitewide sale at https://CozyEarth.comHUNGRYROOT.COMGo to https://Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. KIWICO.COM Tinker, Create, and Celebrate this holiday with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code CALM.WAYFAIRHead to https://Wayfair.com to get up to 70% off on their Black Friday Sale. SKYLIGHTGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.GREENLIGHTDon’t wait to teach your kids real-world money skills. Start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at ​https://GREENLIGHT.com/KIRK.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Nov 6min

3 Common Situations In Which You Can “Give In” & Still Be A Good Parent #531

3 Common Situations In Which You Can “Give In” & Still Be A Good Parent #531

There are times when you are clear with your expectations and your child doesn't comply. Do you ever wonder, "Should I follow through right now...or would it be smarter to just let it go?" These gray areas of parenting are tough! Kirk walks you through three scenarios in which you may feel like you're "giving in," but it may be the right thing to do. You can give in sometimes and you’re still a good parent. I want to give you options. Our Big Fall Sale ends THIS WEEKEND. Visit https://celebratecalm.com/products/ to get dozens of scripts to help in every situation. Email casey@celebratecalm.com with any questions and to get a personalized plan on how to implement the programs. COZY EARTHGo to https://cozyearth.com and use code CALM for 40% off best-selling Cozy Earth temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. HUNGRYROOT.COMGo to Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. IXL LEARNINGMake an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at https://IXL.com/KIRKKIWICO.COM Get up to 50% off your first crate at KiwiCo.com, promo code CALM. SKYLIGHT CALENDARGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.WYZANT.COMHelp your child succeed in school and boost their confidence with Wyzant. Go to https://wyzant.com/ and use code Podcast15 to enjoy $15 off your first lesson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Okt 22min

7 Favorite Ideas For Sleep, Anxiety, Meltdowns, School, Homework & Impulsivity #530

7 Favorite Ideas For Sleep, Anxiety, Meltdowns, School, Homework & Impulsivity #530

How do you get intense toddlers, teens, and every age in between to go to sleep, get up in the morning, behave in school without getting in trouble, practice impulsivity, complete homework, and calm down when upset? I share 7 of my favorite ideas that work with the most challenging kids. This is the final week of our big Fall Sale. Visit https://celebratecalm.com/products/ to get dozens of scripts to help in every situation. Email casey@celebratecalm.com with any questions and to get a personalized plan on how to implement the programs. If you are interested in a LIVE training for teachers/parents, please email casey@celebratecalm.com with LIVE in the subject line.COZY EARTHGo to https://cozyearth.com and use code CALM for 40% off best-selling Cozy Earth temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. HUNGRYROOT.COMGo to Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. IXL LEARNINGMake an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at https://IXL.com/KIRKKIWICO.COM Get up to 50% off your first crate at KiwiCo.com, promo code CALM. SKYLIGHT CALENDARGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.WYZANT.COMHelp your child succeed in school and boost their confidence with Wyzant. Go to https://wyzant.com/ and use code Podcast15 to enjoy $15 off your first lesson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Okt 23min

When Kids Reject Your Help & Refuse To Listen to You #529

When Kids Reject Your Help & Refuse To Listen to You #529

You try to help your kids do something they are struggling with, something they say they care about. But they won’t listen to you, even though it would be so much easier if they did! It turns into a huge fight and you’re left feeling angry and resentful. I want to give you scripts and action steps in different situations so your kids listen and change…without the anger and power struggles. This is the final week of our big Fall Sale. Visit https://celebratecalm.com/products/ and get dozens of scripts to help in every situation. Email casey@celebratecalm.com with any questions and to get a personalized plan on how to implement the programs.COZY EARTHGo to https://cozyearth.com and use code CALM for 40% off best-selling Cozy Earth temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. HUNGRYROOT.COMGo to Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. IXL LEARNINGMake an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at https://IXL.com/KIRKKIWICO.COM Get up to 50% off your first crate at KiwiCo.com, promo code CALM. SKYLIGHT CALENDARGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.WYZANT.COMHelp your child succeed in school and boost their confidence with Wyzant. Go to https://wyzant.com/ and use code Podcast15 to enjoy $15 off your first lesson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Okt 21min

Do You Need To Grieve The Child (& Childhood) You Didn’t Get? #528

Do You Need To Grieve The Child (& Childhood) You Didn’t Get? #528

“If you would simply do what I ask you to do, you would be done in 7 minutes. But you would rather argue with me for 7 hours or days or weeks or years and lose everything you own!” That was our son! I tried to change him until I realized I was the one who needed to change. He reflected back to me my own immaturity, but also my own childhood. And that can lead to amazing healing and a deep bond with your strong-willed child. This is the final week of our big Fall Sale. Visit https://celebratecalm.com/products/ and get dozens of scripts to help in every situation. Email casey@celebratecalm.com with any questions and to get a personalized plan on how to implement the programs. COZY EARTHGo to https://cozyearth.com and use code CALM for 40% off best-selling Cozy Earth temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. HUNGRYROOT.COMGo to Hungryroot.com/Calm and use Code CALM to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. IXL LEARNINGMake an impact on your child’s learning, get IXL now. Calm Parenting Podcast listeners get an exclusive 20% off an IXL membership when you sign up today at https://IXL.com/KIRKKIWICO.COM Get up to 50% off your first crate at KiwiCo.com, promo code CALM. SKYLIGHT CALENDARGo to https://myskylight.com/PARENTING for $30 off your 15 inch Calendar.WYZANT.COMHelp your child succeed in school and boost their confidence with Wyzant. Go to https://wyzant.com/ and use code Podcast15 to enjoy $15 off your first lesson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Okt 21min

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