10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413

10 Lessons From 10 Years of Marriage: The Highs, Lows, and What No One Prepares You For: Episode 413

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we're being honest, the months leading up to it weren't easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.

But here's the truth: challenges don't mean your marriage is broken. They're invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.

In this episode, we're opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.

Whether you've been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don't miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.

Relationship Resources:

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we're keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.

Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links

👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:

0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples

3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision

9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other

15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team

25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage

32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels

39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)

47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren't about the surface-level issue

53:03 – Lesson 8: Don't shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics

59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson

1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy

1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

Episoder(436)

Why Some Partners Don't Follow-Through and How That Impacts a Marriage: Episode 436

Why Some Partners Don't Follow-Through and How That Impacts a Marriage: Episode 436

At our recent couples workshop, during a private conversation, a wife began crying as we described how broken follow-through slowly erodes trust in a marriage. Not because of one missed promise but be...

25 Feb 40min

The 3 Islands of Marriage: Moving From Dysfunction or Function to Connection: Episode 435

The 3 Islands of Marriage: Moving From Dysfunction or Function to Connection: Episode 435

Which island is your marriage on right now? In this episode, we share a simple but eye-opening framework we call The 3 Islands of Marriage: Dysfunction, Function, and Connection. Marriage naturally mo...

18 Feb 40min

Honesty vs Transparency: The Missing Piece to Feeling Fully Secure and Emotionally Safe: Episode 434

Honesty vs Transparency: The Missing Piece to Feeling Fully Secure and Emotionally Safe: Episode 434

Most couples believe trust is built by being honest—by not lying, not hiding anything major, and generally doing what you say you'll do. And while integrity absolutely matters, many couples are surpri...

10 Feb 36min

How to Handle Stress So it Doesn't Negatively Impact Your Marriage: Episode 433

How to Handle Stress So it Doesn't Negatively Impact Your Marriage: Episode 433

Stress is unavoidable. Between the state of the world, work demands, parenting, and the pressure to keep everything running, most couples are carrying more than they realize. The problem isn't stress ...

3 Feb 29min

Why Intimacy Can't Be Deepened Without Inner Healing with Stefanos Sifandos: Episode 432

Why Intimacy Can't Be Deepened Without Inner Healing with Stefanos Sifandos: Episode 432

So many couples are trying to fix intimacy by focusing on communication tools, date nights, or changing their partner's behavior—yet still feel disconnected. In this episode, we sit down with relation...

29 Jan 46min

Resentment: How it Shows Up, Where it Stems From & How to Work Through it: Episode 431

Resentment: How it Shows Up, Where it Stems From & How to Work Through it: Episode 431

Resentment is one of those words people hesitate to claim because it sounds heavy, harsh, even a little scary. But the truth is, resentment doesn't usually start with big blowups or dramatic moments. ...

27 Jan 37min

How to Stop Reacting to Each Other & Regulate Your Emotions Instead: Episode 430

How to Stop Reacting to Each Other & Regulate Your Emotions Instead: Episode 430

So many couples tell us the same thing lately: "We don't even feel like we're choosing to react—it just happens." It can be a tone, a look, or a comment that lands wrong. And suddenly you're respondin...

20 Jan 26min

Debriefing a Moment that Could Have Escalated For Us, But Became a Healing Conversation: Episode 429

Debriefing a Moment that Could Have Escalated For Us, But Became a Healing Conversation: Episode 429

Sometimes it's not the big issues that unravel a marriage, it's the small, everyday moments that quietly stack up. A comment said with the wrong tone. A boundary expressed when stress is already high....

13 Jan 38min

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