Frankenstein's Monster - Audio Biography

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and ghouls! Welcome to another electrifying episode of our Monster Mash-terpiece Theatre. Tonight, we're going to piece together the life story of everyone's favorite reanimated ragdoll, the bolt-necked behemoth himself – Frankenstein's Monster! So strap yourself to the nearest operating table, keep your eye on that lightning rod, and for the love of all that's holy, don't pull that switch! ...Oh, you pulled the switch. Well, I guess the show must go on. IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! Our tale begins not in a dark and stormy castle laboratory, but in the surprisingly sunny climes of Geneva, Switzerland, in the summer of 1816. A group of literary luminaries, including Lord Byron, Percy Shelley, and his soon-to-be wife Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin (later Mary Shelley), were vacationing near Lake Geneva. Thanks to the eruption of Mount Tambora the previous year, 1816 was known as the "Year Without a Summer," which sounds like a great name for an emo band but was actually a climate disaster that forced our literary heroes to stay indoors. Bored out of their minds (apparently, charades can only entertain for so long), Byron suggested they each write a ghost story. Mary, only 18 at the time, struggled with writer's block until she had a waking dream of a "hideous phantasm of a man stretched out, and then, on the working of some powerful engine, show signs of life, and stir with an uneasy, half vital motion." And thus, Frankenstein's Monster was born – metaphorically, at least. The actual birth would involve a lot more grave robbing and electricity. Mary expanded her idea into the novel "Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus," published anonymously in 1818. The book tells the story of Victor Frankenstein, a scientist who decides playing God is a great career move, and creates a sapient creature in an unorthodox scientific experiment. Spoiler alert: it doesn't end well. It's like a cautionary tale about the dangers of science, or possibly about the importance of good parenting. Now, let's clear up a common misconception. "Frankenstein" is the name of the doctor, not the monster. The creature is never actually named in the book, which seems like a major oversight on Victor's part. You'd think after going through all the trouble of creating life, he'd at least grab a baby name book. Instead, the creature is referred to as "monster," "creature," "demon," "wretch," "abortion," "fiend," and "it." Talk about identity issues! In the novel, the monster is described as 8 feet tall, with yellowish skin that "barely disguised the workings of the arteries and muscles underneath," watery, glowing eyes, flowing black hair, and black lips. Essentially, he looked like a heavy metal rocker after a three-day bender. Despite his appearance, the monster was initially gentle and kind, with the mind of a newborn. It was only after being repeatedly rejected by humanity (and his deadbeat dad Victor) that he turned to violence. It's a tale as old as time – boy meets world, world rejects boy, boy swears vengeance on all of humanity. Tale as old as time, I tell you! The book was a hit, tapping into contemporary anxieties about scientific advancement and the Industrial Revolution. It's considered one of the earliest examples of science fiction, proving that even in the 1800s, people worried that technology would create monsters – although back then, the monster was made of corpse parts rather than ones and zeros. But it wasn't until the 20th century that our patchwork pal really shuffled into the spotlight. In 1931, Universal Pictures released "Frankenstein," directed by James Whale and starring Boris Karloff as the monster. This film gave us the iconic image of the monster we know today: tall, square-headed, with a flat-top hairdo, neck bolts, and a stylish dark suit. It was like Karloff raided Herman Munster's closet. Karloff's portrayal was a masterpiece of sympathetic monstrosity. Despite only grunting and groaning (the monster was mute in this version), Karloff managed to convey a range of emotions, from childlike innocence to rage and despair. It was like a really intense game of charades. The film was a massive success, spawning several sequels. In "Bride of Frankenstein" (1935), the monster even got a girlfriend, complete with a killer beehive hairdo that would make the B-52s jealous. Sadly, their relationship was short-lived. Apparently, "till death do us part" doesn't mean much when you're already made of dead parts. Over the years, Frankenstein's Monster has appeared in countless films, TV shows, comics, and even breakfast cereals (Franken Berry, anyone?). He's been portrayed as everything from a mindless killing machine to a misunderstood gentle giant to a suave ladies' man (I'm looking at you, Aaron Eckhart in "I, Frankenstein"). But no matter how he's portrayed, Frankenstein's Monster always maintains certain iconic traits. Let's break down the Franken-starter pack, shall we? The Flat Top: Because nothing says "pieced together from corpses" like a hairdo you could land a plane on. The Neck Bolts: For that extra spark in his love life. They're also great for hanging Christmas ornaments! The Grunting: Who needs witty dialogue when you can express a full range of emotions through various "Urghs" and "Arghs"? The Stomping Walk: Because when you're made of mismatched parts, every step is a miracle. The Green Skin: Not in the original book, but it's become standard. Apparently, death does not become him. The Aversion to Fire: You'd think someone brought to life by electricity would be less scared of a little flame. The Ongoing Identity Crisis: Is he Frankenstein? Frankenstein's Monster? Frank? Frankie? The eternal question. Now, let's address some of our favorite monster's... unique quirks. First off, there's his fashion sense. For someone cobbled together from corpse parts, he's surprisingly dapper. That suit? Timeless. Those boots? Made for stomping. The only question is, where does he shop? "Big and Tall and Previously Deceased"? Then there's his interesting relationship with electricity. You'd think after being jolted to life, he'd have developed a phobia of anything with a current. But nope, in many adaptations, he seems to get a power boost from lightning. It's like a macabre Red Bull. And let's not forget his tendency to make friends with the most unlikely characters. Blind hermits, little girls with flowers, Scooby-Doo – our boy isn't picky when it comes to companionship. It's heartwarming, really. Who says reanimated corpse monsters can't be social butterflies? But perhaps the monster's most endearing quality is his childlike nature. Despite his fearsome appearance, he often displays the innocence and wonder of a toddler. A very large, very strong toddler who could crush you like a grape, but a toddler nonetheless. It's a reminder that it's what's on the inside that counts – even if what's on the inside is a mishmash of organs from different corpses. Over the decades, we've seen all sorts of new interpretations of Frankenstein's Monster. There's the tragic antihero of Mary Shelley's original novel, the childlike brute of the Universal films, and the wise-cracking Adam of the "I, Frankenstein" film (because nothing says 'timeless gothic horror' like parkour and gargoyles). We've had Frankenstein's Monster as a hero ("Van Helsing"), as a father ("The Munsters"), and even as a hotel manager ("Hotel Transylvania"). He's been in love stories, comedies, and action films. He's fought Dracula, wolfmen, and in one memorable comic series, Batman. Talk about franchise mobility! In more recent years, we've seen attempts to bring the story back to its roots. Kenneth Branagh's "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" in 1994 tried to be more faithful to the book, resulting in a shirtless, angst-ridden Robert De Niro running around and questioning his existence. It was like "Taxi Driver," but with more grave robbing. We've also seen the Frankenstein story reimagined in modern settings. The TV series "Penny Dreadful" gave us a monster with existential dread and a penchant for poetry. Victor Frankenstein has appeared as a character in "Once Upon a Time," because apparently fairy tale characters needed a mad scientist in their midst. And let's not forget the animated "Frankenweenie," which proved that the Frankenstein story works just as well with adorable undead dogs. So, why does Frankenstein's Monster continue to captivate us after all these years? Perhaps it's because he represents so many of our own fears and insecurities. He's an outsider, desperately seeking acceptance in a world that fears him. He's a creation abandoned by his creator, searching for meaning and purpose. He's a being grappling with his own existence, trying to understand his place in the world. Or maybe we just really like the idea of mix-and-match body parts. Who hasn't wanted to swap out an arm or a leg now and then? In all seriousness, Frankenstein's Monster endures because he's a complex character that can be interpreted in so many ways. He's a villain and a victim, a monster and a man. He represents the best and worst of humanity – our capacity for creation and destruction, for compassion and cruelty. He's also a walking (well, stomping) reminder of the potential dangers of scientific advancement unchecked by ethics. In our modern world of genetic engineering and artificial intelligence, the questions raised by Mary Shelley over 200 years ago are more relevant than ever. Should we do something just because we can? What responsibilities do we have to the things we create? Heavy stuff for a guy often portrayed with the vocabulary of a toaster. So, the next time you see a square-headed, bolt-necked figure shambling down the street, don't run away in terror. Offer him a kind word, or maybe a sandwich. Just make sure it's not a club sandwich – he might have some traumatic memories of angry villagers with clubs. And remember, dear listeners, beauty