I don’t know who needs to hear this but...
This is inspired by the "No Country for Old Men" film and novel, which I believe confronts the audience with their narcissism. We will go through all the narcissism DSM traits, along with proposed antidotes to them. (00:27) Books Recommendation (02:39) Richard's Disclaimer About Him Going Political (06:15) "No Country for Old Men" as a Story Deconstructing Our Narcissism (12:43) Meta-narrative About Storytelling (Narcissism of the Audience) (13:29) The Red Pill Philosophy for Narcissism (15:59) Humility as a Skill of Self-examination (18:45) Being Boundaried in Our Grandiosity (Your Story is Important to You) (25:06) Prioritizing Truth and Reality Over Fantasy (27:58) Neediness for Admiration (32:22) Finding Value in Yourself as an Antidote (34:38) Entitlement (40:38) Nobody is Coming to Save You (42:15) The Antidote - "I'm Not Owed Anything and Don't Really Need That Much" (43:15) Exploitativeness (Others Also Have Fears, Needs and Lives) (48:55) Zero Empathy and Empathy Exercises (50:00) Envy and Gratitude (50:52) Recap (51:50) Bullying and Abusing (53:24) In the History, the Snake Will Always Eats His Own Tail
19 Nov 202056min
What CAUSES Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Golden Child and Black Sheep EXPLAINED
Narcissistic parent is prone to treat their child in either of two ways. Overpraising (Golden Child) or shunning and scapegoating (Black Sheep). What is the reason behind that kind of parenthood and how does it impact the children development? Find out in this episode. (01:10) The Big Long Screaming 'Nooo' of Denial (05:25) Narcissistic Shell (Reality Split) (08:40) Communication With NPD Through His Shield (11:16) No Boundaries and the Godlike Position NPD Takes (13:46) The Story of a Golden Child and a Black Sheep as Narcissist's Two Sons (20:46) Scapegoat (24:08) Codependent That Has Been Cast Out Into the Darkness (27:02) //Q&A Section// (27:17) "Do you think narcissists despise sensitive emotional children because they are everything they can never be or do, they see it as a weakness?" (29:07) "Can the black sheep/golden child switch roles continually between two children?" (29:20) "Can divorce parents reverse the scapegoat and golden child roles with their two kids?" (29:57) "Can the same child be a golden child and a black sheep simultaneously when there's only one child?" (30:35) "Would NPD commit suicide or are they too emotionally immature, or do they get others to commit suicide for them?" (30:47) "Can the black sheep help the golden child?" (31:01) "Is it possible for a golden child to change?" (31:33) "What if the golden child rebels against the parent?" (31:49) "Is every NPD recruited by another NPD in their mirrored reality?" (32:11) "There's too much entitlement today" (33:06) "Why is the narcissistic parent angered by the scapegoat happiness and success?" (34:13) "Does a black sheep manifest as a codependent?" (34:37) "Would it help to understand their worldview or is it a waste of time?" (35:03) "Does the medical community currently recognize the rate of people driven to suicide by NPD's?" (38:36) "Can the NPD manipulate their children that they rather spend time with him?" (38:57) "Why as the black sheep, am I the only one to see the evil in the NPD parent?"
18 Nov 202040min
Sam Vaknin - Toxicity of Social Media (3) Recommendations and Bananas
Could Social Media be more healthy? These platforms could be completely redesigned, and even serve us better. Check out the suggestions how it could be done, alongside with an explanation of social media mechanisms. (00:03) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 1 (03:53) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 2 (07:47) What Can We Learn From These Studies? (08:28) Sam Vaknin’s Suggestions: Step 1 (11:50) Step 2 and Step 3 (14:37) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 1 (17:49) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 2 (21:18) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 3 (26:10) The Crux of the Matter (28:36) Why Social Media Should Charge a Fee and Why It Would Work (33:28) Getting Rid of the Likes (34:55) Examples of How Some Companies Went From Free to Fee and Benefited (39:46) Social Media Executive Might All Have the Fraud Syndrome (44:40) What Would Happen to a Micro-famous Young Person Who Also Thinks It’s a Fraud (46:30) Sam Vaknin Adds to Richard’s Answer (51:19) That Constant Pulling Out of the Smartphone to Check Seems to Be Compulsive and Nervous (55:16) Psychological Background to Why Social Media is So Addictive (58:28) We All Have Recognition Hunger (1:02:14) In Social Media It’s Almost Impossible to Obtain the “Positive Stroking” (1:06:34) The Idea of Six Human Needs (1:08:45) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 1 (1:12:23) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 2 (1:16:41) Richard Adds to the Explanation (1:19:41) Would Bringing Storytelling Back to Social Media Convert Conditioning to Addiction? (1:22:16) Holocaust Was a Form of Mass-conditioning (1:27:06) The More Primitive is the Conditioning, the Harder It is to Break (1:31:25) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 1 (1:36:33) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 2 (1:40:16) Social Media is Not an Innocent Tool (1:42:10) The Ring From the Lord of the Rings Analogy (1:44:32) They Cannot Claim That They’re Not Trying to Coerce People (1:48:37) Goodbye
17 Nov 20201h 49min
You are NOT "sick"...
Isn't it dangerous to crush people's optimism with a medical sounding condition? Depending on which filters/models you use to approach the symptoms, you will get different results. Realize how much of how we think about the problem impact our ability to solve it. There is no one and only way of looking at things. Consider the alternatives - you have a choice. (00:37) A Metaphor for the Violence Done to Human Psyche (03:11) How One's Skill of Sitting Alone Comfortably Have Been Warped (05:16) Reframing of How We Name the Symptoms (06:51) Is That Label/Model Useful or Disempowering? (08:14) Let's Consider the Alternatives (Option 1 or Option 2?) (10:41) Is It Not Dangerous to Crush People's Optimism? (12:09) Few Suggestions for Bending Back to Shape
16 Nov 202013min
2020 - protect your mindset
How to get through 2020? How do we deal with what's coming next? This year poses many challenges. How to keep going AND come out stronger on the other side? Here is my short take on this. (00:01) Trauma Causing Warps in the Human System (04:18) How Does That Relate to 2020? (06:59) Altering Our Story & Focusing on Optimism (11:37) Coping, Humility and Being a Grown Up
15 Nov 202016min
THE SAM VAKNIN INTERVIEWS - IS NARCISSISM A POST TRAUMATIC STRESS RESPONSE & CAN IT BE TREATED
Narcissism expert Sam Vaknin talks about a necessary and crucial modality change if NPD is to be treated. (00:14) Narcissistic Abuse Is A Plea For Help (04:00) Narcissists Associate Empathy With Pain (06:37) We Need To Treat Narcissists Like Traumatized Children (08:01) Sam Talks About Recreating The Traumatic Environment In The Therapeutic Context (13:00) The Issue Of Perceiving Narcissism As A Personality Disorder (16:06) The Problem Of Getting The NPD To The Therapeutic Environment (19:25) Sam Says Why He's Able To Dig Into Multiple Scientific Fields
14 Nov 202022min
Social Hierarchy, Depression and the Neurobiology of Emotion (post emotional abuse)
Can your social status give you depression? You might have heard about a connection between depression and serotonin. And a connection between serotonin and your position in a social hierarchy. How does it really work? What is it that makes us and our neurochemistry happy? (00:27) Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome (01:47) Depression/Trauma Causes Low Serotonin, Not the Other Way Around (02:40) The Social Hierarchy and Serotonin Levels Connection (03:59) Social Isolation as a Cause for Dropping in Hierarchy
13 Nov 20205min
Rambling About CPTSD During A Google Hangout
All about recovery from emotional abuse and CPTSD in this Q&A session, also including two live chats. (00:00) What does setting boundaries with ourselves exactly mean? (04:27) Richard Mentions His Experience and Qualifications (06:59) Cultivating the Virtue of Discipline (09:09) How to deal with anger and realization that you have been used? (20:11) How do you open yourself up to a relationship again after being in one with a narcissist? (22:29) Where do I begin to find a treatment or a therapist regarding CPTSD? (24:15) How do you stand on dissociative personality disorder? (27:17) The 4 Stress Responses & Explaining the Freeze Response (31:54) Split Personality, Parts & the Problem With Psychological Models (37:44) How many sessions on average it takes for somebody to get better? (41:54) Does the CPTSD and flashbacks go away if someone does the necessary self-help work? (44:40) Is recovery from childhood abuse kind of reframing and understanding ourselves and what happened? (45:53) Is it normal for your physical body to get sick or tired during the self-help work? (49:39) Is it normal for a covert narcissist or borderline to accuse their mate of being a narcissist? (52:59) People Willing Playing the Game With Abusers (55:20) How do we know we are not projecting the narcissism on others? (58:53) Is everyone who was or is in relationship with narcissist a codependent? (1:01:09) What do you do when there's hardly anyone left in your left? (avoiding the post-traumatic embitterment syndrome) (1:08:04) Getting Into a Trauma Bond With Institutions and Programs for People With Addiction (1:13:32) Is there a way to deprogram this? (1:14:31) The Golden Child and Scapegoating (1:16:26) Goodbye
12 Nov 20201h 16min