The #1 Mistake Speakers Make with Personal Stories (and What to Do Instead)

Have you ever heard a speaker share a story and have one of these reactions:

#1: Wow, I really feel connected to what this person is saying. I have a new perspective on my own situation.

-OR-

#2: Why is this person telling this story? I don't get how this relates to the rest of their content or why I should care or this feels icky.

You don't want to end up being the speaker where the people in the audience are having the second reaction.

You want your stories to have purpose and meaning and be of service to your audience.

This conversation came directly from questions we hear all the time from women in our Thought Leader Academy:

• Is sharing my personal story self-indulgent?
• How vulnerable is too vulnerable?
• Can storytelling cross the line into manipulation?

The short answer? Yes, it can. And that’s exactly why how you tell your story matters just as much as what you share.

In this episode, Diane Diaz and I dig into:

• What makes a story feel authentic vs. forced or manipulative
• Why stories should always be in service of the audience, not the speaker
• Common storytelling mistakes (TMI, rags-to-riches formulas, shaming language, and oversmoothing the edges)
• How vulnerability builds trust - when it’s grounded in reflection and purpose
• Why imperfect stories often create the strongest audience connection

We also share real examples—from our own speaking experiences and from Thought Leader Academy clients—of how telling the truth (even when it doesn’t make you look perfect) can be incredibly powerful, freeing, and impactful.

If you want your stories to:

• Deepen audience connection
• Build credibility instead of skepticism
• Support your message instead of distracting from it

…this episode will help you rethink how you use storytelling in your talks, podcasts, and brand messaging.

(This episode originally aired as episode 350 on October 9, 2023.

Links:

Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/mistake/

Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/

Enroll in our Thought Leader Academy: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/academy/

Connect on LinkedIn:

• Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox
• Diane Diaz = https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediaz

Related Podcast Episodes:

• Episode 337: Sharing Your Story as a Catalyst for Transformation with Karen Keene
• Episode 341: Unearthing Your Unique Message: Discovering What Makes You Stand Out with Judy Carlson
• Episode 92: Deconstructing My TEDx Talk: Why We’re Uncomfortable with Women in Power

Become Bookable Live Online Workshop - April 15, 2026
If you want to speak more but you’re not sure where to start or your efforts haven’t produced the results you want, I’m hosting a live online workshop called “Become Bookable: How to Get Speaking Invitations” on Wednesday, April 15th.

A lot of brilliant women assume they just need to pitch themselves more. But the real reason speakers get invited isn’t because they pitch harder — it’s because they’re positioned as bookable.

In this 3-hour interactive workshop live on Zoom, I’ll show you how speakers actually get invited — and help you clarify the positioning that makes event organizers say yes.

As a podcast listener, use the coupon code “Podcast100” to save $100 on your registration.

Learn more and register at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/bookable