Active Listening and Supporting Someone Emotionally

In this episode of the JPF First Aid Podcast, host John Fogarty kicks off 2026 by focusing on a skill that isn’t always labelled as “first aid”, but can make a huge difference to mental health support and wellbeing: active, non-judgemental listening. He explains how unhelpful, well-intentioned responses (like “you’ll be fine” or “just push through it”) can shut people down, and shows how listening properly can help someone feel heard, safe and supported, without trying to “fix” them.

John explores what good listening actually looks like in practice, why our tone, body language and facial expressions matter just as much as our words, and what to avoid when someone is struggling (rushing, giving advice too quickly, comparing stories, or minimising emotions). John also shares practical ways to improve everyday conversations, at home and at work, by listening to understand, not just listening to reply.

Key Takeaways

What Active Listening Really Means

• Active listening is giving someone your full attention and creating space for them to talk, without jumping in with solutions.
• It means listening to understand, not listening to reply, noticing when you’re already planning your response and bringing your focus back to the person.
• In many situations, being heard is “half the problem”, people often shut down when they don’t feel listened to.

Non-Judgemental Listening: Why It Matters

• Non-judgemental listening includes your words and your non-verbal cues, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language can unintentionally come across as judgemental.
• Judgement (real or perceived) can stop someone speaking up, especially when they’re dealing with anxiety, depression, burnout or emotional distress.
• You don’t have to agree with everything, but respecting someone’s experience enough to listen properly helps reduce shame, build trust, and encourage honesty.

Helpful Responses vs Conversation-Stoppers

• Reassurance can backfire when someone is struggling. Phrases like “everyone feels like that” can feel like dismissal and can discourage them from opening up again.
• A more supportive response acknowledges the feeling and invites them to share: for example, recognising it sounds difficult and asking what’s been making things hard.
• The goal isn’t to fix the issue immediately; it’s to show the person they’ve been heard and that you’re present with them.

What to Avoid When Someone Opens Up

• Avoid giving advice too quickly, comparing experiences, minimising feelings, or shifting the focus back onto yourself.
• If you do mention a similar experience, John suggests bringing it back to them: acknowledging it briefly, then making clear the conversation is about them.
• Don’t let distractions take over; phones, paperwork, and busy environments can signal you’re not really listening. If needed, move somewhere quieter or take a short walk.

Key Moments

“Even reassurance can feel like dismissal when someone is already struggling.”

“We need to listen to understand, not just listen to reply.”

“Any silence isn’t considered a failure. It’s space.”

“You don’t need perfect words, you just need presence, time and patience.”

“First aid isn’t always about what we do, it’s often about how we listen.”

About the Host

John Fogarty has a training background dating back to 2005, with achievements including a teaching qualification and assessor standard. He has previously worked with two first aid charities, delivering sessions in workplace and educational environments.

John has consistently received excellent feedback for his delivery and customer service, as evident in numerous reviews. He ensures learners enjoy and achieve their goals, and works with customers to select the right courses and resolves any issues promptly.

Find out more at www.jpffirstaid.co.uk/

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