41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

In this episode, Sam sits down with sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your biggest questions about sex. Why do I have low (or no) sex drive? How can I fix it? How do I initiate sex without feeling embarrassed? How do we keep the spark alive after all this time? After marriage? After kids? And the big one: Why can't I finish, and how do I achieve orgasm? Listen to this episode if your sex life could use a boost, if you want to prevent your sex life from fizzling out, or if you want to learn some tips and tricks from a sex expert who gets it. Key moments: 00:00:35 Guest introduction 00:02:21 The crazy story of why Vanessa became a sex therapist (she was 11 lol) 00:05:33 Proactively working on your relationship inside AND outside the bedroom 00:06:50 “Effortless” sex 00:07:55 Vanessa’s approach to couples sex therapy 00:8:29 Do you need to have sex to feel connected? Or feel connected to have sex? 00:10:27 The single most important characteristic of your sex life 00:12:46 How to NOT let your sex life fizzle out (preventative steps) 00:13:06 The #1 way to keep your sex life healthy 00:15:01 The 3 places intimacy issues start 00:18:45 How to boost your libido when you have low (or no) sex drive 00:19:49 Hot take: desire is overrated 00:21:38 The 2 different types of sex drive (WOMEN PAY ATTENTION!) 00:22:34 85% of women need THIS to get turned on 00:23:51 Having a different sex drive than your partner (SUSHI LOL) 00:25:50 Meeting your partner’s libido and getting on the same page 00:28:33 The best way to communicate that you’re not interested in sex after your partner initiates 00:31:57 How to keep the spark alive instead of slipping into “roommates” 00:33:50 Scheduling sex??? 00:39:36 This is when most couples’ sex lives start fizzling out 00:41:35 How to refresh your sex life in a long-term relationship 00:44:52 One tiny (easy) thing you can do to excite your partner 00:45:09 How to initiate sex with your partner in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing 00:45:54 The 2 most important things about initiating sex with your partner 00:49:13 Okay, let’s talk about the actual sex 00:49:29 HOW TO ORGASM, FOR WOMEN 00:50:55 Women/men same 00:54:58 91% of women said intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity 00:55:25 How to speak up about what you want during sex 00:57:46 Sex rapid fire Q+A! 00:58:22 Most overrated sex position 00:58:52 Most underrated sex advice 00:59:36 The unsexiest thing that improves your sex life 00:59:53 The sex position everyone should try at least once 01:00:28 The sex misconception that needs to go away forever 01:00:47 The #1 mood killer 01:01:33 What every woman needs to know about sex Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHOOP⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow along: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tiktok.com/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.threads.net/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices