Victim Mentality

Victim-hood and the blame game. - Not too many people think or express that they are the victim. - Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior - Indicators of victim mentality. - Blame o If my spouse would just meet my needs better o If I just hadn’t looked at porn that first time o If my church leaders would just help me more o The house clean on ramsey – o If only the circumstance was different o Ask yourself, do I blame anyone else for things that I don’t like about myself or my behavior? - Defensiveness o Byron Katie talks about defensiveness as the first act of war o That person doesn’t know my situation o My life is different. o No one else can understand what I’m going through o No matter what I do it’s never good enough o Zach driving o This is a place of defending your actions even though you might want to change but think you don’t know how o Ask yourself, is there someone in my life that is causing my pain? o - Complaining o I just can’t catch a break o Also, just plain negativity, o this is never going to work, nothing I do works o You feel sorry for yourself and feel trapped. o You know this person in your life, they are constantly looking to engage in a conversation that is negative.. o Building a business has really challenged me in this area o I just have to ignore those thoughts and move forward with my best plans. o Ask yourself, do I complain , do I excuse my behavior, are my thoughts and words negative? o - Key indication is that the stories that you tell involve “someone did something to me” “it happened to me” - “I was reading the news and the site showed an article that made me want to click further and that took me down the rabbit hole” – it just happened to me - Be careful about your words – look for a victim and villain