Alone and NOT Afraid

Alone and Ok - For the first time in a long time, I’m alone at home. - Some kids are with darcy at a playgroup, others are out running errands, one, I’ve just dropped off at work - There was a time when this would be a moment of struggle. - When I would fight, with all my might to stay clean through this time. - Being alone, with no one to catch me, was always a moment where my mind would offer me thoughts like, “nows your chance” “no one will know” - As a business traveler, I found myself in hotel rooms alone often. - It was a consistent pattern that I would end up, at some point, spending a few minutes at least and sometimes an hour or so, viewing pornography. - Having 8 kids, there have been very few rare moments where I was strictly alone at home - So, on the road is where I would do it most often. - Part of it was loneliness - Part of it was boredom. - Part of it was the idea that I could get away with something and the only person who would know was me. - That last one is the one that really, in the end, made it so I stopped looking at pornography - Last night I had a conversation with a client who was telling me about his ‘accountability’ partners. - As he described them, various people, including his wife, he asked me, what my thoughts are on the software for accountability and accountability parnters in general - He also asked if there were a permanent filter that I know of that is free - I told him, the only filter or accountability person that really ends up working, is your own brain. - That is the only way I know how to truly end a bad habit. - Is retraining our brains to no longer desire pornography, no longer follow the urges, and no longer ignoring our moral compass. - That process is what I coach people on, how I help them to get to where they want to be. - That is how I got to the place I am now. - Alone, in my house. With no one to catch me. - Yet not even fighting with my urges in the slightest. - Because, I could look at pornography if I wanted to. - I’m allowed, by virtue of my agency to do so. - But I choose not to, because the person I want to be, doesn’t - Not because there is a filter I couldn’t surpass - There is no free, permanent filter available. - You get what you pay for - That’s why I do the work I do. - I wish I had a coach that would have helped me through this process. - Because so many of us, feel like we can’t be alone. - We don’t trust...