Re-Focus, Re-Habit, Re-think to Overcome Porn Forever

Join the membership for 50% off using promo code LABORDAY50 Click here to join https://www.zachspafford.com/jointhemembership Here is a story that we are all familiar with, that we all believe is true, and that we inflict on ourselves when we think about our pornography struggle. The story begins with us seeing the hero of the story at their lowest point. They are being crushed by the world and see no light, no end to their suffering, and no way to rise above the challenges that are before them. In this struggle, they come across a single truth, weapon, or skill that opens possibilities to them, creates a path forward, and allows them to triumph. While I struggled with pornography, I found that this is how I thought of what I needed to overcome pornography forever. I thought, if Heavenly Father can just give me that one tool, that one skill, or just take this one thing away from me, then I would be immediately successful and clearly win this fight. I don’t know if you have thought of your porn struggle in this same way, but this was my mindset for a very long time when it came to pornography. I’m sure, that like Saul who saw Jesus on his travels and was renamed Paul, there are people for whom extraordinary shifts occur in moments and then, forevermore, that newly minted being of awesomeness is plagued no more by their trials. I know, for me, that this wasn’t the case. I found that really overcoming pornography forever was about three things. Regularly refocusing, habits around my urges, and experimenting with totally new ways of thinking. In the process of overcoming pornography, I found myself regularly discouraged when a setback occurred or a process that I had put in place seemed to fail. For a long time, this lead to an out-of-control spiral and frustrating despair. Each time made mistakes, I had to dig out of that hole and refocus and redouble my efforts. The clear lesson for me around this is, that you don’t have to wait until you make a mistake to refocus. If you are working to overcome pornography, setting regular checkpoints, working with a coach, or regularly evaluating your progress, process, and potential is something you can set up before you make mistakes. Adding key touchpoints to help you evaluate and adjust will yield high levels of self-awareness and pivot points that allow you to move toward your values. These regular refocus sessions, whether you are doing them on your own or with a coach can help you clarify where you stand, what you are doing well, and if there is an area that you might want to improve. If you are thinking about overcoming pornography forever from a strategic perspective, checking in with what’s working and setting time to evaluate it is a perfect start to getting you where you want to go. You might have a daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly refocus session set on your calendar where you celebrate your wins and see how you want to focus your energy for the next period. Speaking of how to focus your energy, one of the key components that you’ll need to focus on is how you are habitually dealing with urges. Willpower is a regular go-to when we engage with our brain around urges. But if you’ve been listening to the podcast, you know that willpower fades and is never enough to totally eliminate pornography from your life. Creating and practicing new ways to deal with urges seems really simple, I know. When it comes to the things you are most effective at in your life, you have created habitual ways to engage with them. I’m reminded of Phil Mickelson and Michael Jordan and Tom Brady. Each of them has risen to the height of their sport. But how? By doing the same things, over and over and over and over until it was habitual, not reactionary. My...