S7 Ep. 4: How Do I Learn to Relax During Oral Sex, Can You Tell If She's Had a Real Orgasm, and Should I Have a Revenge Affair?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) How do I learn to relax and enjoy my partner giving me oral sex? I’ve been seeing a guy and am really enjoying the relationship. At first, I wouldn’t let him go down on me for all the usual self-conscious reasons. But I decided to be open to the experience since he convinced me that he likes doing it. I still can’t get myself to fully relax and enjoy the experience. I worry about what reaction I should be having: how long it’s supposed to take, and if he’s just going to be disappointed again if I don’t orgasm. How can I get my brain to cooperate and learn to like oral sex?

2) After 13 years of marriage, I found out my husband has had several sex affairs. I found a message from a woman he was sleeping with and, once confronted, he confessed and told me it wasn’t the first time. (This was his third). We married young and he says even though he doesn’t regret it and loves me, he feels he missed out on the sleeping with other people bit. He insists they were just sex and nothing else, and I believe him. He used condoms and was discreet. We are in counseling and working things through, but I am still so angry and feel like I want revenge. Should I have my own affair to even up the score?

3) I’m a 24-year-old straight guy and learning lots about sex from your show! I’m curious about whether you can tell if a woman has had a real orgasm or not. I looked it up online and read that a red rash appears on the chest when a woman climaxes. I’ve slept with several women since then and not once has a rash appeared, even though they acted like they had an orgasm. Were they faking?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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