Ways in Which Abuse Changes You

Ways in Which Abuse Changes You

Claudia Pahls hosts a round table with Deborah Hackworth, Ellen Higgins and Rose Ludwick to discuss some of the ways abuse like domestic violence changes victims and survivors.

Here are some ways in which people can feel like their lives have changed after experiencing abuse and domestic violence and how to go about them:

  • Feeling easily overwhelmed, anxious irritated or crying without explanation: Places you used to love are now dull or noisy, and people whose company you used to enjoy are now irritating. That’s because after surviving an abusive situation, many people tend to find respite by isolating themselves from the world or the activities that were once meaningful to them. We know that although this might be a temporary fix, being reclusive is not a long-term solution because human beings are social creatures that need interaction with other people. If you notice that you start feeling overwhelmed or anxious around new people or in social situations after experiencing abuse, it may help to practice some self-care: try retreating to a quiet space where you can gather your thoughts and collect yourself. Try techniques such as breathing exercises that can help you calm down or practice some mindfulness! Observing the outside world, acknowledging that you are safe and that the abuse is in the past (where it belongs) can help you feel back to normal and at peace with yourself and with those around you.
  • Distrusting people in general or being uncomfortable if left alone with someone of the opposite sex: We hear from many of our contacts that after being in an abusive relationship they have a hard time building connections with other people and that trust (or lack thereof) becomes an issue. We’ve also heard from women callers, for example, that tell us how uncomfortable they feel if they find themselves in situations where they are surrounded by just men (think a random elevator stop, strangers sitting in a waiting room or meeting new coworkers or people at a party). If you find yourself being wary of others’ intentions toward you, know that you are not alone and what you feel is a completely normal reaction after surviving trauma. After all, you probably wouldn’t want to experience those feelings ever again! Remember to take it one day at the time. As your heart heals so will your ability to trust others. Don’t forget to be kind and patient with yourself while you become used to learning how to trust again.
  • Flashbacks of the abuse: Many people who have experienced domestic violence report having flashbacks of the abuse they’ve endured. These flashbacks are triggered by no apparent reason and can feel very vivid and realistic, making the survivor relive the pain experienced from the abusive situation, which can leave you feeling confused, isolated and like there’s something wrong with your head. Flashbacks or recurring memories are a symptom of PTSD, which is a mental and physical reaction to a traumatic event. We know that many survivors of abuse experience Complex PTSD because of the repetitive nature of intimate partner violence. Not all treatments for PTSD work the same for everyone, so you might have to try a few different things to see what works best for you. According to Psychology Today, there are several medical treatments such as medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing to treat PTSD. Other practices such as meditation, yoga, mindfulness, positive affirmations, breathing exercises and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can also do wonders when trying to recover from an abusive relationship.
  • Ruminating words, thoughts and events: Rumination is when you become fixated over a word, problem or event and play it in a continuous loop over and over in your head. When people ruminate the words said by an abusive partner or replay the mental images about the distress they suffered, they can become agitated, hopeless and depressed—which is a complete disservice to their own healing process. If you feel like ruminating, make sure to stop yourself in your tracks. Go for a walk, call a friend or do an activity that completely interferes with the urge to mentally repeat the offending words or events. It takes practice to stop ruminating, but remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. If you are able to stop ruminating words and problems, you may feel less anxious, worried and more open to healing the wounds left by the abuse and domestic violence.

These are just some of the ways abuse and domestic violence can change a person, and as you can see, many of these changes are rooted in fear. And that is to be expected. Experiencing and surviving abuse can have such a profound impact on a person’s mind, body and soul. But there’s something quite unique about being broken: you are strong, resilient and one of a kind. (source)

If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

Please consider helping us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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Survivor Story - Using Poetry to Heal from Family Abuse - Author Carol White

Survivor Story - Using Poetry to Heal from Family Abuse - Author Carol White

Carol White, Doctor of Nursing Practice and abuse survivor, shares her mother's legacy of surviving her own abuse through publishing her mother's poetry.'My mother was a survivor of domestic violence who, after 23 years of marriage, was able to escape her husband. She filed charges against him and carried those through to trial. But writing poetry was her lifeline. While she was alive, my mother did not have the confidence or money to bring her work to publication outside of entering poetry contests, where she won nearly 200 awards in 15 states. Though my mother passed away in 2005, three years ago I started the process of bringing her work to publication. There are a total of 10 books set for release over the next couple years, starting with Stoic Resilience: Poems of Suffering and Freeing Oneself from Abuse.'Find more information on Carol's website White Publishing.———————————If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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What is intimate partner violence? Is intimate partner violence the same as domestic violence? What are the differences? The term intimate partner violence describes physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse. DASAS therapist Elizabeth Alderson explains where the current term intimate partner violence stems from and how it compares to the standard term domestic violence. ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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Christina Vitagliano is an author, entrepreneur, and the founder of the successful Family entertainment concept, Monster Mini Golf. She's also a survivor of childhood abuse. In this episode, Christina shares her story of overcoming an abusive childhood to build a multi-million dollar business. Having spent decades working on her memoir Every 9 Minutes, Christina hopes to share her story and touch listeners' hearts with her account of childhood abuse, empowering survivors to reclaim their lives and learn to thrive despite their trauma. Christina's links: Every 9 Minutes: A Memoir Christina on LinkedIn Christina on Twitter ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

16 Feb 202233min

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Surviving the Holidays as a Survivor

The holidays can be tough for anyone. They're especially difficult for victims and survivors of abuse. Oftentimes they're immersed in family where their abuser lives. Or perhaps the question of, "Where is that nice person you were dating last year?" brings up all the emotions of surviving abuse. Whatever the case, Elizabeth Alderson, therapist at DASAS, offers insights into surviving the holidays as a survivor. ——————————— If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org. Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here. We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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Host Dan Moyle met Amy Malin while conducting a business podcast interview. When she mentioned that she was a survivor of abuse, and how that was one factor in why she gave to others, Dan knew her story would resonate on I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship.For over two decades, social entrepreneur Amy Malin "has worked at the intersection of Hollywood and philanthropy with her cause agency Trueheart where she connected celebrities and purpose-driven brands to team up for great causes." (source)In this episode, Amy shares her survivor story along with a story of hope & healing.Links:TrueHeartAmy on LinkedInTrueHeart Search Engine———————————If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

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