Ask Uncut - My Partner Does Drugs on Special Occasions

Hey Lifers!
Welcome to your weekly therapy session where we answer all of your deep, dark and controversial questions (today).
Laura is in Bali and has been making her sister bank roll the trip.
Britt is still in the jungle and we can keep it that way by voting to save her!

Vibes for the week:
Laura - Brittney Saunder's new business pod Big Business

Keeshia - Trevor Noah's podcast What Now? and the 60 minutes interview with Trevor Noah

Then we jump into your questions!

• I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years. We’re 24, we live together & share a pet. I’m a hyper romantic & an extrovert. He’s pretty negative & modest at times. He doesn’t like to show his affection unless he’s drunk or we are alone. Over the past year our sex life has gone from weekly to 1-2 times a month. I love him so much & despite our arguments I want this to work. When I questioned him as to why we aren’t having more sex he said “you nag me about it too much & it seems like you’re forcing the seductiveness”. I pulled back any attempt to be overly sexual or touchy & nothing changed. I even put on lingerie, wore his favourite perfume, lit candles and he still said no he didn’t feel like it. I understand but I’m so lost. I’m so young to be in this position because I know that nothing will change. But I don’t know what else to do.
  
  
• I recently went on a 3rd date with a guy, which so far everything was going well with - he was ticking many boxes in terms of constant communication, making plans etc … and on this night he had initiated dinner, booked the restaurant and was even there early … and the date went fabulous. At the end of the night , after going to a bar for more drinks we decided we wouldn’t go home together. By this point all we had done was kiss. As we were exiting the bar - I saw him on his phone, but little did I know he was already booking his Uber. Once we get outside (it’s around 1am) he tells me his Uber is nearly here, I quickly book mine but mine says 9 minutes away.. His Uber arrives and without hesitation he just jumps right in - I thought surely he’d check how far mine was or wait for me but no. He didn’t. He just left me standing on the street alone waiting 8 more minutes for mine … I thought I’d at least get a message from him asking if I got home safe, but nothing. He couldn’t have cared less how or if I got home. But still messaged me the next day asking to see me again. Chivalry is HUGE for me but sadly his lack of care here has given me the major ICK. Do you think this is bad behaviour / a red flag or I should just carry on seeing him and hope it was a simple mistake?
  
  
• My partner & I are planning to start our lil fam. After a recent miscarriage, he was the most supportive person & outside of this, we have the best relationship. I know he will be such a great parent. He will be the stay at home parent after my paid leave finishes as I earn more. I am just not sure where I sit with this one thing. I know it’s common and almost normal these days, but every 6 or so months, he uses cocaine on a “special occasion” with friends. This isn’t really my thing, which he respects, but I appreciate that he’s always been open when he has used them. He agreed without hesitation not to use it while we try again, but I get the impression that he may still use it on rare occasions in the future. It’s not a deal breaker, but I just have a mind-set that it’s something you ‘weed out’ out of your life when you become a parent.

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