224: Understanding Emotionally Avoidant People with Shane Birkel

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into emotional abuse. Hear why emotional abuse is so complicated, how it compares to physical abuse, how different family environments impact the potential for emotional abuse, examples of boundary violations, and how to stick to the principle of non-violence with your clients and yourself.

28 Apr 35min

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Matt Zakreski about neurodiversity & relationships. Dr. Matt is a seasoned clinical psychologist and professional speaker renowned for his expertise in serving neurodivergent individuals (people with different brains such as gifted, ADHD, Autism, and dyslexia), and is the author of Neurodiversity Playbook. Hear how to navigate neurodiversity with your clients, how generations differ when they’re diagnosed, why knowledge is the key to everything, communication considerations when a couple or partner is neurodivergent, and how to help your clients keep perspective. To learn more about Dr. Matt Zakreski, The Neurodiversity Collective, and Neurodiversity Playbook, visit: DrMattZakreski.com TheNeurodiversityCollective.com Neurodiversity Playbook

21 Apr 43min

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane explores the 3 situations when couples therapy won’t work: addiction, serious mental health issues, and acting-out behaviors. Hear why couples therapy is not always helpful, the different types of addiction, why you might be a client’s last chance, the one case where you truly can’t do couples therapy, and the difference in abuse in adults and children.

14 Apr 32min

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. David Mars about Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT). David is the Director of the Transformative Couples Therapy Institute and has presented workshops, courses, webinars, and online supervision worldwide for over 30 years. Hear how he created Transformative Couples Therapy, the issues he saw with traditional couples therapy, how we can improve couples therapy by learning from babies & children, how sessions work for Transformative Couples Therapy, and the role meditation can play in sessions. To learn more about Dr. David Mars, visit: TCTInstitute.org Transformative Couples Therapy In-Person Training on May 30-31, 2025 in Charlottesville, VA

7 Apr 42min

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laura Copley about trauma bonds. Laura is a trauma therapist, international speaker, and author of the relationship self-help book, Loving You Is Hurting Me. Hear the stigma around trauma bonds & toxic relationships, how trauma bonds work, how to help your clients face their fears, the similarities between trauma bonds & addiction, and how to give hope to your clients’ relationships. To learn more about Dr. Laura Copley, visit: Loving You Is Hurting Me on Amazon Loving You Is Hurting Me on Barnes & Noble Instagram @DocCopley

31 Mars 41min

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Pat Love about The 5 Forces Destroying Your Relationship. Pat is an acclaimed therapist, speaker, and author of several books who has been a clinical practitioner of marriage and family therapy for over 40 years. Hear what’s important when selecting a mate, why true love takes time, how to help your clients when their emotions get flooded, how to navigate financial stress, and why fairness is so crucial to the success of a relationship. To learn more about Dr. Pat Love, visit: FlourishTogether.com Pat’s books on Amazon Pat’s LinkedIn

24 Mars 48min

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Emily Nagoski, PhD about sex & science. Emily is a Sex Educator & Researcher and New York Times Bestselling Author of Come As You Are and other books on sex. Hear why there needs to be more sexuality education out there, the different forms of desire, how the sexual accelerator & brake work, how to bring up sex with your clients, and the most surprising findings from Emily’s research. To learn more about Emily Nagoski, PhD, visit: EmilyNagoski.com Come As You Are Book Come Together Book Burnout Book Feminist Survival Project Podcast

17 Mars 51min

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Ryan Rana about emotional avoidance & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Ryan is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor, and Therapist and has 25 years of experience in the therapeutic field in many different capacities. Hear how to start off assessing your clients, why EFT is all about risk, why blame is a survival strategy, how to avoid misdiagnosing clients, and why validation is so key. To learn more about Ryan Rana, visit: The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy ICEEFT.com Use Coupon Code: CouplesCouch50Off for $50 off membership for a year at SuccessInVulnerability.com You can also listen to Ryan on Episode 116 of The Couples Therapist Couch

11 Mars 51min