Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) with Dr. Ross Ellenhorn

Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) with Dr. Ross Ellenhorn

Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion. About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t). You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change 6:20: What makes people want to stay the same 18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big 24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions 30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety 34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog 40:25: Managing disappointment 43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health 52:55: Psychedelics and direct action 1:04:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Fixing vs. Feeling: How to Get on the Same Team with Elizabeth Ferreira

Fixing vs. Feeling: How to Get on the Same Team with Elizabeth Ferreira

Forrest and somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira explore a common source of relationship conflict: the mismatch between “fixing” (moving quickly into problem-solving) and “feeling” (wanting attunement...

2 Feb 1h

How to Create a Meaningful Life with Brad Stulberg

How to Create a Meaningful Life with Brad Stulberg

Top performance coach and author Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to reframe and reclaim excellence. Brad explains how real excellence - involved engagement with something you care about - is the healthy m...

26 Jan 1h 23min

Is Self-Help a Cult? The Attention Economy and Slippery Slope of "Woo"

Is Self-Help a Cult? The Attention Economy and Slippery Slope of "Woo"

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how well-intentioned self-help advice can drift away from science under the incentives of the attention economy, where overclaiming, alarmist framing, and “this one simple...

19 Jan 1h 35min

How to Make 2026 a Year You’ll Love

How to Make 2026 a Year You’ll Love

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can put our key values into action in 2026. They discuss how we can identify authentic values, and then translate them into goals and daily behaviors while reducing...

12 Jan 1h 11min

Who You’ll Be This Year: Values, Goals, and a Different Kind of Resolution

Who You’ll Be This Year: Values, Goals, and a Different Kind of Resolution

In this New Year’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest make the case that most resolutions fail because they focus on the wrong things: outcomes and behaviors rather than key values. They explore how we can...

5 Jan 1h 7min

Against Nonchalance: How to Embrace Caring in 2026

Against Nonchalance: How to Embrace Caring in 2026

Not caring - or nonchalance - is having a cultural moment. Nihilism is in, trying too hard is cringe, and the best way to cope with an often disappointing world is by not getting that invested. There’...

29 Dec 20251h 11min

Resentment, Situationships, and Highly Sensitive People: December Mailbag

Resentment, Situationships, and Highly Sensitive People: December Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about resentment, highly sensitive people, situationships, and expanding the window of tolerance. In the first three questions, th...

22 Dec 20251h 3min

The Therapy Wars: Science, Self-Help, and that IFS Article

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Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the major topics in psychology today: the tension between "mainstream" and "alternative" approaches, and how to understand evidence-based care. Using the recent IF...

15 Dec 20251h 41min

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