469: Should a Cheater Get a Second Chance? | Feedback Friday

Former bank robber Joe Loya reveals how childhood trauma transformed him into a prolific criminal — and how he found his way back. [Part 2 of 2 — catch up with Part 1 here!]Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1265What We Discuss with Joe Loya:Trauma fragments your sense of the future. When Joe kept robbing banks while out on bail, it wasn't recklessness — it was survival mode. Unprocessed trauma keeps you focused only on getting through today, unable to imagine or protect a future that feels impossible anyway.Compassion beats forgiveness as a healing strategy. Instead of bestowing forgiveness from a position of moral superiority, Joe learned to accept his abusive father by understanding his formation — a beaten child who grew into a broken adult. It wasn't personal; any son would have been beaten.Self-examination is scarier than any external threat. A man who fearlessly robbed 30 banks and survived federal prison found confronting his own grief and dismantling his rage infinitely more terrifying than anything the outside world could throw at him.Your survival armor can become your prison. Joe needed his rage and menacing persona to stay safe in prison, yet that same emotional armor prevented him from healing — forcing him to project violence while secretly working on becoming a more sensitive, self-aware person.Transformation begins with telling your story honestly. Writing became Joe's tool for self-investigation — processing grief, rebuilding conscience, and eventually sharing his journey with his daughter and the world. Start documenting your own growth; the act of articulating your past can illuminate your path forward.And much more... [Part 2 of 2 — catch up with Part 1 here!]And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Huel: Get free shipping, a shaker, and a t-shirt with your first order at huel.com/jordanShopify: 3 months @ $1/month (select plans): shopify.com/jordanCookUnity: 50% off first week: cookunity.com/jordan or code JORDANHomes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Jan 1h 8min

Former bank robber Joe Loya reveals how childhood trauma transformed him into a prolific criminal — and how he found his way back. [Part 1 of 2]Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1264What We Discuss with Joe Loya:Childhood trauma doesn't excuse criminal behavior, but it explains how violence becomes normalized. Joe's father beat him over 100 times before age 15, creating a psychological framework where aggression felt like the only authentic response to a world that had brutalized him first.Bank robbery became a twisted form of therapy — a way to reclaim power stolen in childhood. Joe describes the "rapture" of robberies as moments where he finally felt in control, transforming victim psychology into predator psychology through carefully orchestrated criminal acts.Solitary confinement can either break you or remake you. Joe spent seven years total in "the hole." Rather than destroying him, isolation became an unexpected crucible for self-reflection, forcing him to confront the rage he'd been running from his entire life.The most dangerous lies we tell are the ones we believe about ourselves. Joe constructed elaborate internal narratives justifying his crimes as righteous rebellion, only recognizing decades later how childhood shame had corrupted his entire moral operating system.Redemption isn't about erasing your past — it's about transforming it into something useful. Joe now channels his understanding of trauma, violence, and recovery into writing and speaking, proving that even the darkest experiences can become tools for helping others navigate their own shadows.And much more... [Part 1 of 2 — stay tuned for Part 2 later this week!]And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent: Get more at northwestregisteredagent.com/jordanNutrafol: $10 off 1st month: nutrafol.com, code JORDANShopify: 3 months @ $1/month (select plans): shopify.com/jordanApretude: Learn more: Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340Homes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Dec 20251h 8min

Are near-death experiences proof of an afterlife — or just the brain's final fireworks? Michael Regilio goes into the light to find out on Skeptical Sunday!Welcome to Skeptical Sunday, a special edition of The Jordan Harbinger Show where Jordan and a guest break down a topic that you may have never thought about, open things up, and debunk common misconceptions. This time around, we’re joined by skeptic, comedian, and podcaster Michael Regilio!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1263On This Week's Skeptical Sunday:Near-death experiences are real experiences — but that doesn't make them supernatural. NDEs happen to ordinary people during medical crises, and while skeptics question the metaphysical claims, no one disputes the profound personal impact. These aren't grifts or delusions — they're genuine neurological events that often leave people calmer, kinder, and less afraid of death.The "tunnel of light" isn't universal — it's cultural. Western NDEs feature tunnels and beings of light, but Buddhist and Hindu experiencers often describe rivers, bridges, or ancestors. This cultural filtering suggests NDEs are brain-based events shaped by personal beliefs — not visits to a one-size-fits-all afterlife waiting room."Clinically dead" doesn't mean the brain has completely shut down. Proponents argue NDEs prove consciousness survives death because brains were "flatlining" — but neuroscientists note that minimal brain activity can still occur undetected, and memories may be reconstructed after the fact as the brain "reboots."Dying might actually be a psychedelic experience. When the brain faces extreme stress, it releases a cocktail of DMT, endorphins, and dopamine while electrical hyperexcitation fires neurons en masse — creating vivid, dreamlike experiences that may explain the transcendent feelings people report.You don't need a near-death experience to live like you've had one. People who've had NDEs often return less materialistic, more focused on love, and at peace with mortality. The takeaway? You can adopt that perspective right now — prioritize connection over accumulation, presence over panic — without the terrifying trip to death's door.Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at jordan@jordanharbinger.com and let him know!Connect with Michael Regilio at Twitter, Instagram, Threads, Bluesky, and YouTube, and check out War Bar, his new comedy special!And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent: Get more at northwestregisteredagent.com/jordanNutrafol: $10 off 1st month: nutrafol.com, code JORDANShopify: 3 months @ $1/month (select plans): shopify.com/jordanApretude: Learn more: Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340Homes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Dec 202553min

You're battling overeating and started therapy, but you're unsure if you're growing or just failing slowly with extra steps. Welcome to Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1262On This Week's Feedback Friday:You're struggling with overeating and wondering if you quit tracking calories because you lack discipline. You've started therapy but aren't sure if you're making progress fast enough — or what "progress" even looks like. How do you grow without beating yourself up along the way?Jordan shares feedback that illustrates what makes doing this show so worthwhile and fulifilling for him.Gabe and Jordan discuss the good, the bad, the ugly, and the transformative about the past year, including: Dark Jordan's way of dealing with breached airplane window ettiquette, a grandiose corollary about prioritizing now over later (convenience be damned!), learning to say "no" without feeling bad about it, Gabe's expectations vs. realities of hitting the road as a digital nomad, how to make meaning when one's own stories refuse to cohere, disturbing concentration camp kitchen murals, the lessons of failure, coping with crushing loneliness while traveling, turning sap into maple syrup Ken Burns style, and more!Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Momentous: 20% off first order: livemomentous.com, code JORDAN20Mint Mobile: Shop plans at mintmobile.com/jhsLinkedIn: Post your job for free: linkedin.com/jordanLand Rover Defender: landroverusa.comHomes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Dec 20251h 21min

Q-Day — when quantum computers crack all encryption — is coming. Quantum eMotion COO John Young breaks down the pros and cons of what's to come.Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1261What We Discuss with John Young:Q-Day is the looming moment when quantum computers become powerful enough to break current encryption — rendering bank accounts, medical records, government secrets, and critical infrastructure vulnerable not through hacking, but through raw computational power that can solve in minutes what would take today's computers longer than human civilization has existed."Harvest now, decrypt later" is already happening. Adversaries are collecting encrypted data today, storing it like a time capsule, waiting for quantum computers to mature so they can unlock secrets that were meant to stay buried forever — meaning today's sensitive communications could become tomorrow's exposed vulnerabilities.Quantum computers aren't just faster classical computers — they operate on fundamentally different physics — using qubits that can exist in multiple states simultaneously, allowing them to explore countless possibilities at once rather than checking solutions one by one, which is what makes them so dangerous to current encryption methods.The transition to quantum-safe encryption is a massive, slow-moving crisis. Large institutions with decades of layered encryption systems face years of retrofitting, while startups can build quantum-resistant from day one, creating a dangerous gap where critical infrastructure remains exposed during the changeover.The same technology threatening our digital security also promises extraordinary breakthroughs. Quantum computing could deliver miracle drugs, better batteries, climate solutions, and new materials, so the path forward isn't fear but preparation: organizations should begin transitioning to quantum-resistant algorithms now while the benefits still outweigh the risks.And much more...And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Function Health: $100 credit: functionhealth.com/jordan, code JORDAN100HelloFresh: Get $80 off your first order at hellofresh.com/jhs80MasterClass: Get 15% off a yearly membershipAirbnb: Turn your house into a host: airbnb.com/hostHomes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Dec 20251h 12min

Big Tobacco's playbook is back — just with better branding and candy flavors. Jessica Wynn clears the air about vaping here on Skeptical Sunday!Welcome to Skeptical Sunday, a special edition of The Jordan Harbinger Show where Jordan and a guest break down a topic that you may have never thought about, open things up, and debunk common misconceptions. This time around, we’re joined by writer and researcher Jessica Wynn!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1260On This Week's Skeptical Sunday:Vapes don't produce harmless vapor. They emit aerosol, a "chemical soup" containing nicotine, heavy metals like lead and nickel, formaldehyde, and ultrafine particles that penetrate deep into lungs where filtration is impossible.JUUL revolutionized addiction by using nicotine salts instead of freebase nicotine — lowering the pH for smoother hits at higher concentrations, delivering a faster brain rush with less coughing, and packing one pod with the equivalent of an entire pack of cigarettes.Many vapes labeled "nicotine-free" actually contain nicotine when tested, and secondhand aerosol isn't safe either — it deposits residue on surfaces, harms pets, and exposes bystanders to the same toxic cocktail inhaled by the vaper.The same playbook Big Tobacco used for decades — targeting kids, using candy flavors, buying off scientists, and fighting regulation — is now deployed through sleeker devices and better branding.Quitting is possible, and the tools actually work. Programs like the Truth Initiative's "This Is Quitting" show 40% higher quit rates, and texting DITCHVAPE to 88709 connects you with free, judgment-free support designed for real people fighting real addiction.Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at jordan@jordanharbinger.com and let him know!Connect with Jessica Wynn at Instagram and Threads, and subscribe to her newsletters: Between the Lines and Where the Shadows Linger!And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Uplift Desk: Special offer: upliftdesk.com/jordanWayfair: Start renovating: wayfair.comShopify: 3 months @ $1/month (select plans): shopify.com/jordanApretude: Learn more: Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340Homes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Dec 202559min

Your mentally ill mom impersonated you, lied about your dad, and then vanished. Now you're alone and your sister's cut you off. Welcome to Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1259On This Week's Feedback Friday:You were raised by a manipulative mother with serious mental health issues who impersonated you to your friends and lied about your absent father. Now at 29, you're isolated, your sister won't speak to you, and mom has vanished. Can you rebuild trust — and yourself — after so much damage?Your partner is loving, attentive, and supportive, but he's hiding alcohol and nicotine habits, and his lies trigger your past trauma from being cheated on. Add in a cancer-stricken cat, job loss, and 600+ rejected applications, and you're in survival mode. Where do you even begin to untangle this?You and your mom swapped social media feeds and discovered just how different your political echo chambers are — and how engineered that division really is. Now you want to burst your filter bubble and find balanced news sources. But in today's algorithm-driven media landscape, is that even possible? [Thanks to internet pioneer and social media critic Jaron Lanier for helping us with this one!]Recommendation of the Week: A passport holder with an AirTag attached (plus a sub-rec: personalized passport books as a holiday gift).You're pivoting from an oversaturated, unfulfilling career into cybersecurity. You've earned the certifications, but breaking in feels impossible. Your partner, your future family plans, and a potential move to Melbourne all hinge on this career switch. How long do you keep trying before calling it quits?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors:BetterHelp: 10% off first month: betterhelp.com/jordanAura Frames: $35 off: auraframes.com, code JORDANDeleteMe: 20% off: joindeleteme.com/jordan, code JORDANSimpliSafe: 50% off + 1st month free: simplisafe.com/jordanHomes.com: Find your home: homes.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Dec 20251h 17min

Wisdom isn't about what you know — it's what you actually do. Author Ryan Holiday breaks down why virtue requires action, not just good intentions. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1258What We Discuss with Ryan Holiday:Wisdom isn't knowledge — it's the consistent application of knowledge when nobody's watching. Ryan distinguishes between knowing something intellectually and actually living it. You can memorize every Stoic principle ever written, but if you don't apply those lessons when you're stressed, angry, or tempted, you don't possess wisdom — you just own some expensive bookshelf decorations.Reading is a legitimate superpower that lets you download decades of human experience in hours. Books give you access to conversations with the greatest minds across history — people you could never meet, asking questions you'd never think to ask. It's not about collecting titles; it's about systematically absorbing hard-won lessons from people who already made the mistakes.The Dunning-Kruger effect explains why fools rarely doubt themselves while the wise remain perpetually curious. True wisdom requires intellectual humility — acknowledging the vast ocean of what you don't know. The loudest voices in any room are usually the least informed, while genuine experts understand their knowledge has limits.Ego is wisdom's silent assassin — it convinces you that you've already arrived when the journey never actually ends. Ryan's refusal to obsessively check book rankings isn't false modesty; it's strategic protection against letting external validation corrupt the creative process. Soaking up applause feels good but produces nothing new.Treat learning as a lifelong practice: absorb knowledge as if you'll live forever, but act with the urgency of someone who might not see tomorrow. This ancient Latin wisdom reframes curiosity as non-negotiable and action as time-sensitive — a powerful combination that turns passive information consumption into meaningful, immediate application.And much more...And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: Caldera + Lab: 20% off: calderalab.com/jordan, code JORDANCookUnity: 50% off first week: cookunity.com/jordan or code JORDANQuince: Free shipping & 365-day returns: quince.com/jordanAirbnb: Turn your house into a host: airbnb.com/hostAG1: Welcome kit: drinkag1.com/jordanSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Dec 20251h 22min