A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we're dropping this episode, is International Women's Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I've known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya's name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the "full shownotes" link below. We'd also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, "serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me." He also said, "While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office's work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office." After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she "believed the women who shared their experiences" with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out "In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson," a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you're listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

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A Counterintuitive Strategy for Sharper Decision-Making, Stronger Performance, and a More Meaningful Life. | Daniel Pink

A Counterintuitive Strategy for Sharper Decision-Making, Stronger Performance, and a More Meaningful Life. | Daniel Pink

How to have fewer regrets (and utilize the ones you already have).   Daniel Pink is the author of seven bestselling nonfiction books on a range of topics, from human motivation to the science of timing to a graphic novel career guide. His books include the New York Times bestsellers The Power of Regret, A Whole New Mind, and When—as well as the #1 New York Times bestsellers Drive and To Sell is Human.  In this episode we talk about: The myth of the "no regrets" philosophy  What a regret actually is  The very real benefits of regret The four core regrets people tend to have  Tools for dealing with regrets The importance of talking or writing about your regrets How to  create a "failure resume"  The Regret Optimization Framework  The crucial role of self-compassion and self-distancing And much more Related Episodes: 'When' Can Make a Big Difference   Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  Daniel's books To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

26 Jan 52min

How To Handle 4 AM Worry Spirals | Bart van Melik

How To Handle 4 AM Worry Spirals | Bart van Melik

A conversation with self-described "worry warrior" Bart van Melik about working skillfully with everyday anxiety. Bart is a guiding teacher at the Community Meditation Center in New York and our Teacher of the Month for January. In this conversation with executive producer DJ Cashmere, he gets refreshingly honest about his own tendency to worry — and shares a bunch of practical tools for when your mind won't stop spinning through worst-case scenarios. We talk about: Why mindful breathing sometimes doesn't work (and what to do instead) The practice phrase "this wants to be seen right now" How to work with your aversion to worrying (which can be worse than the worry itself) Why talking about your fears with other people is so crucial The question "what is this?" as a low-barrier entry point to awareness How the Buddha's teaching on clinging shows up in anxious thinking Why community and sangha aren't optional extras If you want more from Bart, check out the 10% with Dan Harris app where he's got meditations and live sessions throughout January.   Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

25 Jan 21min

Tim Ferriss On: Recovering From Anxiety and Compulsive Thinking, Rethinking Self-Optimization, and the Power of Saying "No."

Tim Ferriss On: Recovering From Anxiety and Compulsive Thinking, Rethinking Self-Optimization, and the Power of Saying "No."

Secrets to self-preservation in an age of burnout.   Tim Ferris is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers, including The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans. He's also the host of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast. Most recently, he has collaborated with Exploding Kittens to create COYOTE, a fast and hilarious card game.  In this episode we talk about: Tim's Antidotes to isolation Past-year reviews The perils of self-optimization His meditation practice Escaping rumitive loops  The role of Accelerated Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) The ketogenic diet  Talking to chatbots about your health And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources:  The New Frontiers of Mental Health — Brain Stimulation, Rapid-Acting Tools for Depression, and More All Things Ketones, How to Boost Cognition, Sardine Fasting, Diet Rules, & More — Dr. Dom D'Agostino TED: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals Tim Ferriss, Host of 'The Tim Ferriss Show,' Author   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris       Thanks to our sponsors:  LinkedIn:  Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier. HexClad:  Get 10% off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com/happier. Square:  Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/happier.

23 Jan 1h 11min

Overwhelm Is Reversible. Here Are the Best Strategies From Psychology and Neuroscience | Claudia Hammond

Overwhelm Is Reversible. Here Are the Best Strategies From Psychology and Neuroscience | Claudia Hammond

A road map for taking the pressure off.    Claudia Hammond is an award-winning writer and broadcaster. She is Visiting Professor of the Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Sussex and is the presenter of BBC Radio 4's All in the Mind. Her latest book is Overwhelmed: Ways to Take the Pressure Off.   In this episode we talk about: How to define "overwhelm" – and modern causes for its existence Why the search for perfection is futile  Claudia's three-part recipe for handling overwhelm Antidotes for the comparing mind  What we should all know about procrastination  How to not let the news overwhelm you  What we learn from regret – and how to stop beating up on your past self A key technique for worrying less The case for nostalgia How to get into a "flow state"   Related Episodes: If You Want To Be More Productive, You Need More Rest. Here's How To Get It. | Claudia Hammond   Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources:  The Art of Rest: How to Find Respite in the Modern Age The Keys to Kindness Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception Mind over Money: The Psychology of Money and How to Use It Better Emotional Rollercoaster: A Journey Through the Science of Feelings Claudia's BBC Podcasts Thanks to our sponsor:  Function: Visit functionhealth.com/Happier or use the gift code Happier25 for a $25 credit towards your membership. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

21 Jan 1h 8min

How To Succeed, Sanely—Without Toxic Productivity, Preconceived Notions, or Fear of Change  | Anne-Laure Le Cunff

How To Succeed, Sanely—Without Toxic Productivity, Preconceived Notions, or Fear of Change | Anne-Laure Le Cunff

What does success look like? A neuroscientist wants you to question your cognitive scripts.  Anne-Laure Le Cunff conducts research into the neuroscience of learning and curiosity at King's College London, and also runs Ness Labs. She is the author of Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World.  In this episode we talk about: Her critique on our cultural obsession with "finding your purpose" The value of knowing your "cognitive scripts" Practical tools to live a more purposeful, curious, and fulfilled life Her mini-protocol for experimentation (based on the scientific method) Mindful productivity — and how it builds on moving us into an experimental mindset  Whether procrastination is actually the enemy? And tools to work with it. The upside of making space for your imperfections  Tips for navigating uncertainty  Why you want to avoid having too many experiments at the same time The main difference between a habit and an experiment How to learn alongside with other people — and why this matters  Collective "flow" states  Tips for community building And this question: is legacy important? Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thank you to our sponsors:  ZipRecruiter: ​​To try ZipRecruiter for free, go to ZipRecruiter.com/tenpercent.  IQBar: To get twenty percent off all IQBAR products—including the Ultimate sampler pack—plus FREE shipping, text DAN to sixty-four thousand.  Fabric: Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at meetfabric.com/HAPPIER.

19 Jan 1h 13min

How To Handle Exhaustion, Disconnection, and Physical Pain | Meditation with Bart van Melik

How To Handle Exhaustion, Disconnection, and Physical Pain | Meditation with Bart van Melik

A short, gentle body scan meditation from Bart van Melik, our Teacher of the Month for January. This isn't about fixing anything or achieving some special state. It's about finding one small place in your body that feels okay—not great, just okay—and seeing what happens when you meet that experience with a little bit of kindness. Bart is a meditation teacher and psychotherapist who has trained in Insight Meditation and Buddhist psychology. He's worked extensively in clinical settings with people dealing with stress, anxiety, and harsh self-talk. He's the guiding teacher for the Community Meditation Center in New York City. Check out more meditations from Bart throughout January in the 10% with Dan Harris app. Related episodes: Buddhist Strategies for Protecting Yourself from Everyday Chaos | Bart van Melik   Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

18 Jan 12min

Seth Meyers On: Handling Performance Anxiety, Managing the Inner Critic, Hacks for Better Conversation, and Staying Joyful in Dark Times

Seth Meyers On: Handling Performance Anxiety, Managing the Inner Critic, Hacks for Better Conversation, and Staying Joyful in Dark Times

Plus, much more from the famed late-night TV show host. Seth Meyers is the host of Late Night with Seth Meyers. Before that, he was a cast member on Saturday Night Live for 13 seasons. In recent years he has released two standup specials: Lobby Baby, on Netflix and Dad Man Walking, on HBO. He wrote a children's book called, I'm Not Scared, You're Scared. And he co-hosts two podcasts, Family Trips with the Meyers Brothers and The Lonely Island and Seth Meyers Podcast. In this episode we talk about: How Seth maintains sanity while hosting a late-night show amid the firehose of news Joy and humor as resilience His early struggles with self-doubt  How raising children is potentially harder than hosting a late night TV show The upside of anxiety The art of listening Friendship, loyalty, and the emotional sustenance of creative partnerships. Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors:  LinkedIn: Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com/happier.  Wix:  Ready to create your website? Go to wix.com.  Cozy Earth:  Head to cozyearth.com and use code Harris for up to 20% off.

16 Jan 44min

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

The "Wellness" Industry Sells Us On Rigid Optimization. It Doesn't Work–But This Might. | Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya

A deep dive on Ayurveda, a sophisticated system for health that's been refined over millennia. Nidhi Bhanshali Pandya is a renowned NAMA-certified Ayurvedic Doctor, the bestselling author of Your Body Already Knows (2025), and international speaker/educator known for her modern approach to women's health and longevity. In this episode we talk about: What Ayurveda actually is beyond TikTok trends  How ancient Ayurvedic principles align with (and differ from) modern medicine  How to brace yourself in the face of an imbalanced ecosystem The human tragedy of overoptimization The value of awe, fascination, and pattern-seeing as more effective than discipline or force  The three codes of life The framework to come back into our own intelligence in the kindest way  How modern life (especially electricity) disrupted our biological rhythm and created chronic imbalance The concept of balance and the Buddhist middle path as echoed in Ayurvedic texts The "inner climate" framework  Practical tools for sleep, including concrete daily practices to offset "imbalances" The concept of agni (digestive fire) and how to support it A three tiered toolkit for self-regulation The perils of jumping into change Why cold drinks and excessive water can disrupt digestion Radical acceptance and gratitude Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel  To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors: HomeServe: Plans start at just $4.99 a month. Go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you.  Leesa:  Go to leesa.com for 25% off mattresses, pllus get an extra $50 off with the promo code Happier, exclusive for our listeners.

14 Jan 1h 18min

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