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The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover magic words and the impact of language with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a Wharton School professor, an expert on natural language processing, influence, and consumer behavior, and is the internationally bestselling author of Magic Words, Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst. Questions are the key to connecting with the people around you, so what kinds of questions should you ask when getting to know someone, what questions should you avoid, and how can you word questions in a way to get people to do what you want them to do? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are questions so powerful when talking to people? What kind of question should you ask if you want other people to like you or perceive you better? What should you say if someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer? Questions that Push People Out and Pull People In – 14:53 What questions do we ask that put people on the defensive and how do we reword the same questions to get the answers we actually want? What questions can you ask to turn strangers into friends? How many questions can you ask before a conversation gets uncomfortable? Identity and Agency Questions – 26:29 What questions can you ask to motivate people to take the action you want them to take? How do many of us use self-talk the wrong way and how does it sabotage our goals and dreams? What is hedging and how does hedging make us seem less confident? When we use questions as tools, they become powerful. They can build bridges or break them; it's up to us to decide which kind of question we want to use. If you want other people to like you and view you better, the best type of question should be open-ended, positive and interesting. Avoid questions that put people on the defensive and instead choose phrases that invoke thought and curiosity. Asking questions to strangers is a great way to get them interested in knowing more about you and forming new relationships. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Jonah Berger’s website Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger Jonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion | AOC Podcast Jonah Berger | Invisible Influence | AOC Podcast BetterHelp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices