#328 – Thanksgiving Vacation Tapes

It’s that time of year…time for some big tasty turkels, delicious side dishes, and a nice tryptophan induced nod after feasting yourself into fullness and naptime. It’s THANKSGIVING, and while most folks are gearing up for the coming holiday season (which will start promptly in the pre-dawn hours of Black Friday), we realize that we’ve NEVER taken any time off during the holidays and that perhaps it’s time we enjoy a little holiday breather.

With that in mind, we’ve put together a veritable cornucopia of clips from our 2025 collection that we hope you enjoy. Our only real cautionary advisory would be that you listen to this prior to enjoying your Turkey Day feast in order to avoid the very real possibility of laughing until you vomit.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!! Enjoy your Thanksgiving Day feast, prep carefully if you’re deep frying a turkey, be thankful and gracious for the lack of giblets in your gravy, and enjoy an abundance of relaxers before dinner with the family when you JOIN US for the most off-putting, irresponsible, and exhausting VACATION TAPES you’ve ever heard.

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Show Notes:

(00:01): SHARON!!! / #oldefaece / “He came in for the tur…”/ #whatsitcalled / “Whatever happened to #JuiceNewton …? / #juicebox / #DownTime / “Let’s not make it gross…”/ “She sounds like #PeterSteele…”

(02:43): #AI / “She stopped sucking me today…”/ #ConwayTwitty / “The power was in his hair…”/ “Ladies and gentlemen…Conway Twitty…”/ #BramStroker / “…slash handjob…”/ “What am I saying? I’m fixed…”/ #vasectomyawareness

(07:02): “I just don’t give a shit anymore…I’m not gonna bring the A game…”/ “Nobody ever wants to go first…I set the bar ultra-low…”/ #mealprep / “Sometimes Dracula likes to go camping…”/ #vampirejerky / “I thought you were gonna go the frozen tampon route…”/ “If it looks like #liquidsneeze / #GospelBand / “This is extraordinary news…”/ #carnivore

(11:05): “The #fuckbag review!?” / #redemption / “I was having a bad day…I changed the review to 5 stars…”/ “Okay let’s not do that…”/ #shittalkuh / “Yours is by far one of my FAVORITE podcasts…”/ #offputting and #exhausting / “The #superfuckbag review is still out there…”/ “Could have been a ‘Them’…”/ #TransAms

(14:56): “That’s a fantastic band name!” / #coathangerabortion / “Our house is haunted, btw…”/ #maryreilly / #GhostStoryASMR / “The original owners died in that house…”/ “The headphones, man…”/ #Megatron / #Transformers

(17:58): “This is from the mighty Mixon…since we’re on the way…”/ “Conan…the Barbarian Destroyer?” / “I would have done it from the balls…from my balls to you…”/ #OMG / #DJTASMR / #vagmetal / “Really? You’re gonna go there…”/ #DOGEASMR / #batvagina / “Nutrition is a lie…”/ #saltwater / “Butter is good for you…”/ #nutritionadvice / “Does Santa Claus come up from the septic tank now!?” / #markallthetimes

(22:16): “Tattered and torn…or shaven and shorn?”/ #footfetishporn / “There was a moment when we needed money…”/ “I’m always looking right at the snooch…”/ #toethumbs / “Apparently people think she’s a dude…wait, don’t women have Adam’s Apples though?” / “Which do you think would be more risky?”/ “I got a kiss on the cheek from my first stripper…”/ “I usually put it in the G-string…”/ #manintheboat

(27:39): “Every time I see sports highlights…in slow motion…” / #slowmotionporn / “What was that voice you just did?” / “It was #KattWilliams…”/ #KingOfComedy / “That’s a better Katt Williams impression…”/ “Not since Tuesday…”/ “I sit back and wait…”/ #shockvalue / “It was odd…”/ “I don’t want to no more…”/ “How does it reattach?” / “That sounded almost like #RichardPryor a little bit…”

(32:20): “And the verdict…”/ “I gotta back snooch…you wanna see my balloon knot?” / “It was in the dark…if I do it in the dark my dick will seem bigger…”/ “The yurt, as it ‘twere…”/ “That’s the pre-hole, right?” / “I think ‘fuck off’ is a full sentence…”/ “I’ll fix that in post…”/ “Y’all know what snails look like, right?” / “No, no, no, these were slugs…”/ #whatareyouwatching / #sexualdeviance / #snoochguard / “I like that word, dude…” / “It’s the snooch & gooch…”/ “Paws…”

(38:19): “Sooooo…last week…” / “Wait a minute…this is #Sleep…this is #Dopesmoker…”/ #bestfridayever / “For those 35 minutes…it was the best Friday ever…”/ #MAGMA / “Is that one of them Trump supporters?” / #guitarclass / “That was his fuck-off hour…”/ “We came up with this song…”/ “I left it in there just for you…”

(43:11): “You should have got the burger…”/ #mediumrarechickentenders / “You get into that Gran Ma…”/ “You could stop drinking…”/ “If you’re doing a ride share…you owe it to yourself to be hammered at least on one end of the journey…”/ #shitfaced / “It was awesome…”/ “You know that pre-hangover hangover that you get?” / #markthetime / #UberEats / “So you paid $38 for $8 Chinese food…”

(48:14): “That’s one of the things I did like about #TheBlackAlbum…”/ “Bill needs a segment…”/ #tonechasing / “In my non-guitarist ears…he’s a singer, he hears things differently…”/ “What about #Pantera?” / “The mix is completely different…”

(52:41): “It’s not overbearing, but it’s definitely there…”/ “I’m gonna be that guy…”/ “But you didn’t have ‘Stairway To Heaven 2’…”/ “I forgot the after twang that Jager’s got…”/ #snoochsmooching / “Snooch smooching alright!” / “There IS no metal without #ACDC…”/ #Era / “Australasia…where is New Zealand?” / “I got some quality handies…”/ “Lube is a different game, bro…”/ #RussellsPornShopReflections / #markthetime / #ReverseOreo / “It was a toy of some form…”/ “I’m not gonna do it the way she said it…”/ “You think they get paid by the hour or by the load?”

(1:01:38): “Wouldn’t it be interesting…if #Spiderman was more scientifically accurate?” / #EmberingEffigy and #comedy at #SweetwaterLive / “So on the way home…”/ #blindedbythelight / #spotlight / “The light still works…it was just really, really dim…”/ Tag Light Visible – 50 ft / “I have no idea what he looked like…if you get pulled over, pull into a populated place…” / #DivineIntervention / “Wear your sunglasses at night…”

(1:08:12): “Incubus and succubus…what’s the difference?” / “Sleepfucker alright!” / “You know what’s almost equally offensive?” / “It’s fun if a 10 year old says cunt…”/ #recordscratch #IrishCarBombs / “Starts with an N, ends with an R…”/ “I had a dream that we were hanging out with the #Metallica guys…”/ #TridentChallenge / #PlanetCaravan / “I don’t know where they could have put it where I would have liked it…”/ #LMAO / “I’m laughing at him…”

(1:14:24): “Every time I listen to that song I think about the first time I finger blasted a girl…”/ “I know who you’re talking about…”/ “That’s a triple…you got slimy fingers…”/ “Third base is windshield wiper…”/ “Dude, I just scored…”/ #HotPocket / “It’s that from now on…”/ “It’s MG Approved…from the heart…”/ “Occasionally Matt comes up with some shit that fucking works…”

(1:18:52): “Here’s the rules…if you wanna make a show on #HBO…”/ #flacciddicks / “I could put so much…right there…”/ “Why are you such a dick?” / “Last night while I was in slumber…Satan came into my room…and he had his way with my forehead…”/ “You’re not supposed to swallow it…”/ #LOL / #onmicburp / “You know what that sounds like?”

(1:22:40): “We’ve got coyotes…”/ “Here’s what makes a lot of noise…”/ “Fuuuuuuck…”/ “Is it gay…?” / #fleshlight / “Yep!” / “Okay…follow up question…”/ #RequiemForADream #GAF #AssScissoring / #TheFourthHole / “I’m tripping balls by the way…”/ “This is not a microdose…”/ “This is what you sent me!?” / “What does that even mean?” / “When you said you were sending him a file…”/ “If anything, it’s three 7’s, and one of them has a line in the middle…”/ “Hold on…don’t tell me…”/ “Arnold by Enwuego…”/ “There’s Moby Dick…there’s um ‘I’m thinking’…”/ #HappyThanksgiving from all of us at #MetalNerderyPodcast and #BunkerpoonInternational