Hard For Hot Dads | Your Mom's House Ep. 838

Do you smoke crack? Exactly. Canadian jeans step up and do the dew! We love audio that paints a picture. We have some that straight up blasts your face! If you can squirt, let us know how you do it - for realsies. We rank chocolate candy treats and Tina ranks Almond Joy at the BOTTOM! Do you think she's a communist???? Bunz strongly disagrees. Which country makes the best, most delicious chocolate treats? A serious debate takes place. Does size matter? Yes. For sure. Definitely. Your small penis size is bad luck and not your fault and now there's a movie about that. Tom used to be a doctor. Tina talks about T.O. - yes the former Pro Bowl receiver was on an Oprah-like show. Abusive dads often create great athletes/accomplished men - so maybe not a bad idea to beat your kids? Trashy panties smell good.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 11min

If someone weighs 600 pounds and they want more food, give it to 'em! Extreme weigh gain has a profound impact on you physically and psychologically - and also on those who see you. If you're sick of being where you're at, listen to CT Fletcher spit encouragement. Tina loves to ride her BIKE! (BIKES!) and she wears her helmet like a good girl. If you ride a bike, please obey the rules of the road, fartknocker. Tommy is pushing hard to lease a LAMBO for business purposes. Will Tina approve of the deal??? The SHAHS are back on Bravo and we talk about episode 1 of the new season. We give our heartfelt advice to a Mommy in need and we update you on our Brown. Would You Rather and more. Wipe until you bleed! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 17min

There are good shows as a comedian and there are great shows. Sometimes there are bad shows and then there's this. In Tommy's near 12 year career as a stand up he has had the full spectrum of shows, but nothing quite compares to the Massacre in Manitoba. In this episode we fully examine everything that went into a show going so far off the rails that Tommy had to leave before it was over. We play highlights - if you can call them that - and talk about some of our worst shows ever. In keeping with the Canadian theme we revisit Rob Ford and update you on what he's been eating.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 16min

You know what I'm sayin? We like to say it first! Sometimes you put your peepee in a scary place and you don't die - we celebrate that. We hear from a black man who isn't hung like a black man. If someone has had sex with 100 plus people do you count them out as marriage material? The Mommies don't agree. Oprah doesn't front. She's actually Mad Cool. I wish directors would act more like I wish actors would sing more. STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN MOVIES. Is Alec Baldwin a homophobe because he said something bad when he was mad? Do simple words mean more than intent and action? Don't be a #$%^*. A break thru BROWN TALK and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 8min

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for? Hopefully, having Tommy and Tina in your life is at the top! If not, we hope you have a horrible holiday season. If your idea of celebrating thanksgiving is talking about suicide and death and how life will leave you any moment then this is the episode for you. Bryan Erwin is an old friend who should have been on the show AGES ago and now he's finally here. He's a comic and a dad and a husband and a felon. Just kidding - he really isn't much of a husband! HAHAHAHAHA. Bryan is simply the best. We talk about parenting and how you talk to your son about other stupid kids who try to ruin your kids life with regards to Santa and of course, sex. When our heroes begin doing bad commercials is when we know we are going to die soon. It isn't GREAZY. It's just life. Best of all, we get to introduce our buddy Bryan to some YMH classics! You'll see, mommy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 30min

I don't remember what we talked about this episode. Hope you enjoy it.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 3min

There ain't no half-steppin' or half chargin nothing especially when your baby's daddy is in the house! The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is all up in the Dome. We catch up with our old comrade about bad music, loud crazy people on planes, and the wonder of pain that is having 2 or 3 in you. The NEW BIKES! shirt is here and we revisit the classic clip from Scared Straight. Plus the Top Dog call to end all calls??? It may never be topped and he admits to WIPING A CERTAIN WAY we didn't know about! Keep your jeans on and up for this one.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 10min

Pull your jeans up over your shoulders - it's Mommy time! Tommy and Tina cover all the bases in this one. The duo talk trash about their producer, Blueban, they bring back fan-favorite, The Dick Detectives, read RESULTS from Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut, give you a Where The Dudes At update, discuss their interest in Holocaust literature, play NEW Top Dog audio and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 44min