EP274 - How to Peg Your Partner Like a Pro with Luna Matatas

Welcome to episode 336 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Lola Jean to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the topic of quickies, how they can bring couples closer together, understanding communication is key in navigating the core of the quickie and how you can add novelty to the excitement.  Lola Jean is a sex educator, mental health professional, fetish wrestler, Domme, writer, and world record holder for volume squirting. She has been actively involved in the field of sex education for over a decade.   Lola Jean's journey to becoming a sex educator began when she was in college. After completing her degree in psychology and gender studies, she started working as a mental health professional and soon realized that there was an immense need for more comprehensive sex education. She decided to fill this gap by offering her own workshops and courses on the subject.   Lola Jean's most popular workshop is called "No Frills Sex Education", which covers topics such as anatomy, consent, communication skills, pleasure-based learning, sexual health and safety tips, and much more. She also offers other courses such as "Quick 'N' Dirty" and "Free Courses". Her workshops have had a positive impact on many people's lives by providing them with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions about their sexual health.   In addition to her work as a sex educator, Lola Jean is also an accomplished fetich wrestler and world record holder for volume squirting (solo). She has been featured in several publications such as The New York Times Magazine and VICE Magazine.    In this episode, you will hear:   How quickies can have benefits for busy couples looking to carve out time for intimacy without pressure and with the added feeling of being desired. The buildup of tension and anticipation through sexting and touching can enhance the experience of a quickie.  Suggestions for physical touching during a quickie include possessive touch, bated breath, and the "skin to skin" position.  Communication and negotiation are important for initiating a quickie to ensure both partners get what they want and to avoid coercive behavior.  Use of language and words during a quickie should be discussed ahead of time to avoid landmine words that could turn off a partner.  The novelty of discreet locations outside of the bedroom can also add excitement to quickies.  Foreplay Checklist Discover 9 tantalizing ways to ignite your foreplay!  https://drmoali.clickfunnels.com/free-foreplay-checklist51618558   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Job Posting https://www.indeed.com/job/licensed-mental-health-therapist-private-practice-025459e5bb2c89fe   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Touko 202332min

Welcome to episode 335 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Ness Cooper to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss shower sex experiences, benefits, drawbacks, techniques, and accommodating diverse preferences and situations.  Ness Cooper is a Sex and Relationship Expert with over ten years of experience. She has helped individuals, couples, and those in polyamorous relationships find fluidity in intimacy and pleasure. She has a background in counselling with a focus on sex and relationships and has trained in the UK as well as internationally.   Ness has trained in youth sex education and is part of the esteem network by acet. Her favorite study has been studying with the Kinsey Institute of Human Sexuality, and therapy courses run by TASHRA. Ness is kink positive and has trained in kink education and has a paper on BDSM and disabilities coming out in 2022.   She runs a popular Sex Toy review blog. Ness is regularly quoted in the press and has been mentioned in a book about female sexual fantasies "Garden of Desire". Not only does Ness coach people in human sexuality, but she also teaches other professionals on various subjects around sexual wellbeing.   Wanting to learn as much as possible, she has also trained in Pelvic Floor Biomechanics, sea sponges, pessaries, and mental health safeguarding.   In this episode, you will hear:   How most people prefer shower sex over beach sex based on a recent poll.  The benefits of shower sex including different sensations, temperature variations, privacy, and different positions. Establishing boundaries in shower sex, consider order of entry, temperature preferences, lubricant choice, and sex toy integration. Recommended sex toys for shower use include heated vibrators, glass and metal toys, suction handrails, and specialized furniture. Health concerns during shower sex may include proper cleaning of the shower head How positions such as spooning while standing can be a good introduction to shower sex. The importance of aftercare for vulva owners and neurodivergent individuals.  Foreplay Checklist Discover 9 tantalizing ways to ignite your foreplay!  https://drmoali.clickfunnels.com/free-foreplay-checklist51618558   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Job Posting https://www.indeed.com/job/licensed-mental-health-therapist-private-practice-025459e5bb2c89fe   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

23 Touko 202327min

Welcome to episode 334 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome David Khalili to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the challenges men face due to traditional ideas of masculinity and how this impacts their relationships and communication with partners.  David F. Khalili, MA, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist whose practice is focused on working with men, adolescents, couples therapy, and multi-ethnic individuals. He received his master's degree in counseling psychology from Golden Gate University and a master's degree in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University.   During his graduate studies, David completed his practicum internship at UCSF AIDS Health Project and followed up with a post-graduate psychodynamic intensive program at The Psychotherapy Institute. Additionally, he has extensive experience working with teenagers, as well as with those experiencing grief, trauma and substance abuse issues. His expertise also lies in working with multi-ethnic individuals and those who have recently immigrated or are first-generation American born.    David specializes in issues ranging from sex and sexuality, sexual disorders and anxiety, to trauma and PTSD, and men's groups. His approach focuses on helping his clients improve their self-awareness - guiding them to understand how they relate to themselves and their life experiences, and how to reach the goals they desire.    In this episode, you will hear:   The limitations traditional masculinity imposes on men in terms of emotional expression.  How traditional masculinity encourages men to only rely on themselves  How men often experience a narrow spectrum of emotions and struggle to communicate their feelings with their partner  The impacts David had growing up in a multicultural household, witnessing the impact of cultural expectations on the expression of emotions.  The way toxic positivity and uncommunicated expectations can cause resentment and psychological distress in relationships.  Understanding the concept of "soul murder" where individuals kill off parts of themselves to conform to societal norms.  How sexual response cycles can help individuals better accept and manage their emotions and reactions in relationships. Anxiously Intimate Save 30% on the Anxiously Intimate course bundle using code MOALI30  https://www.rouseacademy.com/offers/o8mcR6jr   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  Job Posting https://www.indeed.com/job/licensed-mental-health-therapist-private-practice-025459e5bb2c89fe   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

16 Touko 202335min

Welcome to episode 333 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome back Zachary Zane. In this episode, we discuss his new book Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto, the importance of including men in the sex positivity movement and increasing bisexual male visibility in media and society.  Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based columnist, speaker, activist, and sex expert whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, and culture.    He has a weekly sex advice column at Men’s Health titled “Sexplain It,” where he answers a diverse range of questions pertaining to masculinity, ethical non-monogamy, sexual insecurities, and the LGBTQ community. He answers questions with actionable advice that isn’t just “communicate with your partner,” because let’s be real, we all know that already.    He also has a monthly column at Queer Majority called “Zach and the City,” which explores romance and sexuality through Zane’s fabulous life. Set against the backdrop of New York City, Zane uses his personal experiences as a young and adventurous queer socialite to unpack the current state of cosmopolitan sex, love, and dating.     He currently writes for The Washington Post, Rolling Stone, and Prevention. He was formerly a digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and a contributing editor at Pride.com, Plus Magazine, and The Advocate Magazine. He’s been featured in numerous other publications as well, including Playboy, NBC, SELF, Allure, Dazed, AskMen, Slate, Into, Them, Cosmopolitan, Hornet, NewNowNext, LGBTQ Nation, MerryJane, and Bustle.   In this episode, you will hear:   Why Zachary wrote his memoir focusing on bisexual men overcoming sexual shame.  How even growing up in a sex-positive and queer-affirming household, he still experienced sexual shame.  The importance of including men in the sex positivity movement, as they are often left out due to societal expectations and stereotypes.  The challenges bisexual men face when dating, such as disbelief, condescension, or assumptions that they will later come out as gay.  The importance of bisexual representation in media to help normalize the identity and combat stereotypes.  Advice for individuals exploring their sexuality, suggesting not focusing on a label initially and focusing on understanding their feelings and attractions instead.   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Job Posting https://www.indeed.com/job/licensed-mental-health-therapist-private-practice-025459e5bb2c89fe   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

9 Touko 202341min

Welcome to episode 332 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome back Dr. Greg Matos. In this episode, we discuss monogamy in the 21st century, ways in which you can manage temptation and the impact platforms like OnlyFans are having on relationships.  Dr. Greg Matos is a board-certified Couple and Family Psychologist who served over a decade in the U.S. Marine Corps and Navy, becoming a Lieutenant Commander. Greg was awarded the Bronze Star with Combat Valor and the Department of State’s Award for Heroism. He’s the author of Shattered Glass: The Story of a Marine Embassy Guard.   After the military, Dr. Greg began specializing in systems work and Gottman-Method Couples Therapy. He founded a charity on TikTok @abetterloveproject to share science-based advice on love and life with his 40,000 audience members. You can join him for a casual chat and mindful breathing every day on TikTok.  In this episode, you will hear:   A look into the Better Love Project and why Dr. Greg started it  Analyzing monogamy in the 21st century  The way in which social media has affected relationships Looking at the impacts of opening your relationship Understanding how micro-cheating works  Balancing your desire whilst in a monogamous relationship Ways in which you can manage temptation The importance of knowing your core values Keeping communication open with your partner for the long haul The impact platforms like OnlyFans are having on relationships Building trust and commitment for a healthy relationship  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Job Posting https://www.indeed.com/job/licensed-mental-health-therapist-private-practice-025459e5bb2c89fe   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

2 Touko 202352min

Welcome to episode 331 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Morgan. In this episode, we discuss attachment theory, the way different attachment styles affect sexual dynamics and ways in which you can communicate your insecurities.  Meet the relationship coach who's changing the game. With deep expertise in attachment theory and a proven track record of success, she's dedicated to helping women raise their self-worth and find the healthy relationship they deserve.   Her Empowered.Secure.Loved Program is the ultimate guide to secure attachment and long-lasting love. By combining science, data, and her own insights, she's created a transformative experience that takes you from lonely to loved in no time. Ready to take your love life to the next level? She's your secret weapon.  In this episode, you will hear:   Looking at the definition of attachment theory How attachment theory can be the missing piece to the dating puzzle What is insecure attachment style? The way different attachment styles affect sexual dynamics  The importance of communication and emotional connection  Recommendations on what you can do daily with secure attachment  Ways in which you can communicate your insecurities  Knowing what is useful to share with your partner Understanding what it is you need to feel better and more comfortable  Green Chef Thank you to our sponsor Green Chef! Use the promo code Sexology60 to get 60% off at https://greenchef.com/sexology60   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

25 Huhti 202331min

Welcome to episode 330 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Niki Davis-Fainbloom. In this episode, we discuss the common misconceptions around fetishes, dealing with internalized shame and understanding that not all fetishes are sexually connected.  Niki Davis-Fainbloom is a Canadian-born, New York-based sex educator, writer, and coach. Since receiving her Master’s degree studying the psychology of sexual dysfunction from NYU, she has facilitated hundreds of sexual education workshops at locations including Planned Parenthood, New York University, and The United Nations.  Her writing has also been featured in publications such as Mind Body Green, Cosmopolitan, Refinery 29, and Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center. Her work uses up-to-date research, humor, and practical advice to help people develop the skills to have healthier and more satisfying romantic and sexual relationships.  She is an expert in fetishes, and much of her coaching involves working with folks with unique desires as well as navigating ethical non-monogamy and pleasure.  In this episode, you will hear:   What inspired Niki to delve into this line of work Looking at the common fetishes people may desire Understanding the misconceptions around fetishes Analyzing uncommon fetishes such as sneeze fetishes The importance of knowing you’re not alone if you do have a fetish How you can communicate to your partner you have a fetish Why there can be a lot of internalized shame around fetishes Communities you can seek out to bond with others around this  How not all fetishes are sexually connected The importance of consent around fetishes  Green Chef Thank you to our sponsor Green Chef! Use the promo code Sexology60 to get 60% off at https://greenchef.com/sexology60   Foreplay Checklist Want to spice things up a little? Sign up below to invigorate your foreplay tonight. https://exciting-builder-8729.ck.page/2690c062c9 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

18 Huhti 202336min

Welcome to episode 329 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Eric Sprankle. In this episode, we discuss Eric’s upcoming book on masturbation, the misconceptions about masturbation, and how masturbation positively and negatively affects relationships.  Dr. Eric Sprankle is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Co-Director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He is a licensed clinical psychologist and an AASECT-certified sex therapist affiliated with the Minnesota Sexual Health Institute. He is also the Director of the Secular Therapy Project, a subsidiary of Recovering from Religion.  Dr. Sprankle received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Xavier University in 2009, completed a postdoctoral fellowship in sexual health at the University of Minnesota Medical School in 2011, and was awarded tenure in the Department of Psychology at Minnesota State University in 2017.  He currently leads the Sexual Health Research Team at Minnesota State examining sexuality, stigma, and secularism, and has published articles on the effects of sexually explicit material, older adult sexuality, and sex worker affirmative therapy.  In this episode, you will hear:   Looking at the content of Eric’s upcoming book around masturbation  How Eric became interested in this subject area The misconceptions around masturbation  Analyzing the differences between low, moderate and excessive masturbation  Is masturbation beneficial for your wellness? Understanding the context of masturbation  Masturbating healthily while in a relationship  Making sure your value systems around masturbation align with your partners value system Communicating to your partner about masturbation  How masturbation can positively and negatively affect relationships   Green Chef Thank you to our sponsor Green Chef! Use the promo code Sexology60 to get 60% off at https://greenchef.com/sexology60   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

11 Huhti 202329min