Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

There’s a tension we’ve all felt at some point between the benefits of conformity and the desire to be true to ourselves and stand up for what we think is right. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by Dr. Todd Kashdan to explore how we can combine prosocial values with principled insubordination, so we can speak up for others (and ourselves) and maximize our chances of creating meaningful change even in the face of social pressure. About Our Guest: Dr. Todd Kashdan is Professor of Psychology at George Mason University. He is a leading authority on well-being, curiosity, psychological flexibility, and resilience. He has published over 210 peer-reviewed articles, and is the author of several books including Curious? , The Upside of Your Dark Side, and most recently The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: Combining skillful positivity and dissent 7:55: Distinguishing principled insubordination and generic misanthropy 10:05: Four elements of principled insubordination 19:05: Yin and Yang applied to insubordination 21:35: Safe havens and a secure base 26:20: How capable are we of cultivating self-awareness? 32:05: Positive intent, courage, and sitting with discomfort 38:45: Strategies for being a moral and effective dissident 46:40: Navigating societal hierarchies 51:50: Process comments as insubordination 53:00: What Todd does when his kids are insubordinate 58:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Have a question for us?  Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.   Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Helmi 20221h 6min

We explore a lot of big ideas on this show, and alongside them a lot of specific tactics and frameworks that can support people in growing and changing for the better. This includes everything from how to get the most out of therapy, to how to deal with traumatic experiences, to how to manage a variety of psychological conditions and individual tendencies. There’s a question that underlies all of these domains: how does personal healing actually work? On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss the fundamental strategies that allow us to become aware of and integrate all parts of ourselves–those we want to celebrate and expand, and those we’d like to heal and change. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:00: Overview of psychological patterns related to healing 7:25: Forrest’s personal journey as a case study 13:15: Rick assessing Forrest’s narrative from a psychologist’s perspective 15:45: Cognizing and other stories we tell to avoid parts of ourselves 20:40: Showing appreciation for our defenses, completing patterns 26:50: Catharsis and ways to reach it 39:15: Practical ways to reclaim and reconnect with parts of yourself 43:45: Playing with the nature of identity/ego 47:00: Self-forgiveness and celebrating what you’re good at 50:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Have a question for us?  Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes. Sponsors: Get the probiotic rooted in the latest microbiome science from Pendulum, and use code BEINGWELL for 20% off your purchase. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Helmi 202257min

We’re incredibly lucky to have such an engaged and interested group of people listening to the podcast, and because of that we regularly receive a lot of interesting questions via email and social media (links below). On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson dive into a few of these questions, discussing topics such as: how to manage family relationships, principles for approaching life’s changes, and what kind of therapy Rick actually practices. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Bringing up challenges with family when times are already hard. 11:25: What kind of therapy does Rick practice? 19:15: Taking financial risks to experience life vs. creating financial security 30:00: “Neurons that fire together wire together” explained 34:05: Developing a connection with your inner child/younger self if your childhood was filled with painful experiences 41:40: Managing challenges between your family and your partner 54:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Have a question for us?  Email: contact@beingwellpodcast.com to submit questions or potential topics you'd like us to explore in future episodes.   Sponsors: Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Helmi 20221h 1min

Kaira Jewel Lingo, a former Buddhist nun at the Plum Village community under the guidance of Thich Naht Han, joins Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson to explore how we can cultivate trust and equanimity in the face of uncertainty. They discuss the somatic experience of opening to the unknown, taking action as an antidote to anxiety, and how to have equanimity both when things work out...and when they don’t. About our Guest: Kaira Jewel Lingo is a Buddhist teacher who weaves mindfulness and meditation practice with social justice. At the age of 25, she became a Buddhist nun at the Plum Village community in France under the guidance of Thich Naht Han, where she stayed for 15 years. She became a Zen teacher in 2007, and is also a teacher in the Vipassana/Insight tradition through Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Finally, she is the author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. Recording Note: This episode was recorded before the passing of Thich Naht Han. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: Kaira Jewel’s background 2:35: Trust in times of major change 9:10: Two kinds of uncertainty 14:10: Store consciousness and trusting the unknown 18:50: Somatic contraction and expansion 23:05: Responding to the truth of suffering with joyful engagement 30:50: Practicing equanimity 42:10: Defining equanimity 43:30: How to return to center in unstable moments 48:20: Body-based equanimity exercise 50:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Tammi 202257min

So many forces in our brains, bodies, and culture move us toward the experience of scarcity – that something is missing, that we don’t have enough, and that we never will have enough. The feeling of scarcity both feels bad in itself, and is also the creator and amplifier of so many other challenges we face.  On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what a scarcity and an abundance mindset is, what some sources of scarcity are, and how we can move to an authentic experience of abundance. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: Defining scarcity and abundance  6:45: Why are we biologically predisposed towards scarcity? 17:05: When to relax and expand 20:20: Scarcity at the cultural level 26:20: Critique of promoting an “abundance mindset” and a practical definition 30:45: Orienting to a sense of abundance  38:05: Motivating with punishment vs reward 40:55: Abundance in objectively difficult times 47:15: Specific ways to shift from scarcity to abundance 58:45: A sense of wonder and groundedness 1:01:25: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Tammi 20221h 8min

Most people abandon their New Year's Resolutions by mid-January. This often occurs because people make resolutions based on what they feel like they should want, rather than what they actually do want. In other words, their goals and resolutions aren’t in alignment with their purpose. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson discuss how we can identify and pursue our purpose, and why it’s so valuable to have one in the first place. They explore questions and strategies that can help us develop clarity on what we find meaningful, what our core values are, and how we’d like to spend our time. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:00: Why spend time discussing how to have a purpose? 11:00: Nonverbal ways to establish yourself in your purpose 12:50: Ways to be flexible that make purpose accessible 17:45: Fresh starts help us retain freedom in the present 21:20: How to listen to yourself when it's unclear what you want 26:05: Getting feedback from others and abandoning doomed pursuits 32:10: Moving past the inner critic and fear of letting others down 38:10: Five questions to ask yourself 48:15: Soul work and sacredness 50:30: Doing what helps you look at things differently 54:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Tammi 20221h 4min

Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by James Baraz, a meditation teacher for over 40 years and cofounder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, to explore how we can find still find joy during difficult times. We discuss how to balance a sense of equanimity with compassion for the suffering of the world, and how cultivating joy at an individual level can support healing at the collective level. About our Guest: James is the coauthor of Awakening Joy: 10 Steps to True Happiness, and leads the popular online course of the same name. He is also the guiding teacher of One Earth Sangha, a website devoted to expressing a Buddhist response to climate change. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: Why joy is important in Buddhism 5:05: James’ journey to prioritizing joy 11:40: How to practice awakening joy without turning away from suffering 17:20: Putting yourself back together after cultivating awareness of suffering 24:10: The 10 Steps of Awakening Joy 28:45: How people can use emotionally positive states in contemplative practice 32:00: Positivity in relation to the climate crisis and other collective challenges 38:05: Equanimity, compassion, including both sides of the river 43:35: The great perfection 47:10: James’ realistic hope for the next 25 years  49:30: Recap Awakening Joy: Awakening Joy is an internationally recognized course designed to awaken joy through exciting themes and practices that incline the mind toward well-being and deeper insight. It's a 5-month course taught online by James, check it out and learn more here.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Tammi 202256min

On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk with Dr. Zindel Segal about Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), an eight-week group therapy program designed to help those who suffer from chronic unhappiness and prevent relapse after episodes of severe clinical depression. About our Guest: Dr. Segal is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto at Scarborough, and one of the creators of MBCT. He specializes in mood disorders, particularly depression, and has had an enormous influence on the clinical adoption of mindfulness-based practices and their addition to more traditional forms of cognitive therapy. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Origins of MBCT 4:30: Why Segal prioritized studying mindfulness as an intervention to depression 7:10: Comparing MBCT with traditional CBT 10:20: What about depression makes us more reactive to thoughts and feelings? 13:15: Mindfulness of sadness vs direct experience 18:35: MBCT practices explained 23:10: Three minute breathing space exercise 31:00: Attentional control training 33:45: Managing feelings of inadequacy 39:00: Motivation and implicit compassion 43:15: Ongoing practices after the MBCT course 45:45: Creating access to mindfulness resources 48:15: Recap From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Tammi 202255min