When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?

When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?

This episode (#310) examines one of the most complex issues couples face after sexual betrayal: determining which details about an addict’s behavior genuinely help the betrayed partner heal, and which unintentionally deepen her trauma. When discovery occurs, a partner’s neurological fight-flight-freeze system activates, compelling her to search for every possible detail to regain safety. Drawing directly from Dr. Minwalla’s concept of Integrity Abuse Disorder, we explain how the addict’s secr...

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Jaksot(351)

My Mother & Friends Think I'm Naive & Stupid for Staying with an Addict—Am I?!

My Mother & Friends Think I'm Naive & Stupid for Staying with an Addict—Am I?!

(Episode 352) A betrayed partner wrote to us because, although her addict partner has recently become more proactive in recovery, she worries that her mother and friends now see her as weak, naive, o...

28 Syys 42min

He Spent Decades Secretly Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?

He Spent Decades Secretly Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?

(Episode 351) A betrayed partner wrote to us about her husband’s roughly 33-year history of hidden lust addiction and a specific sexual fixation involving women’s bodies that remained secret througho...

22 Syys 44min

"I Choose You" Means Nothing If His Eyes and Actions Keep Choosing Others!

"I Choose You" Means Nothing If His Eyes and Actions Keep Choosing Others!

(Episode 350) For a betrayed partner, few things are more painful than hearing, “I choose you,” while continuing to discover that her partner’s eyes, attention, sexuality, and actions are still being...

16 Syys 42min

His Relapses Hurt, but Ongoing Lies and Manipulation of Reality are the Real Crisis!

His Relapses Hurt, but Ongoing Lies and Manipulation of Reality are the Real Crisis!

(Episode 349) Relapse in pornography or sex addiction absolutely matters, but it is often not the most fundamental threat to a relationship. The deeper crisis is what happens when relapse is followed ...

8 Syys 41min

Is it My Job to Educate My Addict Partner about My Betrayal Trauma & My Boundaries?

Is it My Job to Educate My Addict Partner about My Betrayal Trauma & My Boundaries?

(Episode 348) A betrayed partner who has a history of neglect, abuse, people-pleasing, or self-abandonment may find it especially difficult to identify and defend her own wants, needs, and boundaries...

31 Elo 44min

Can my Partner with 2 Decades of Porn Use & Years of Secrecy & Lying Genuinely Recover?

Can my Partner with 2 Decades of Porn Use & Years of Secrecy & Lying Genuinely Recover?

In Episode 347, a betrayed partner who recently ended a three-year relationship asks whether her former partner can genuinely recover after more than two decades of compulsive pornography use, high-ri...

25 Elo 43min

If He Doesn't Think Porn Is Bad, Can He Still Truly Recover??

If He Doesn't Think Porn Is Bad, Can He Still Truly Recover??

In Episode 346, a betrayed partner wonders whether her husband can genuinely recover from pornography addiction when he admits that lying, hiding, gaslighting, and hurting her are wrong but still insi...

17 Elo 39min

My Addiction Shattered My Wife; She Wants a Divorce, but I Don't. Now What?!

My Addiction Shattered My Wife; She Wants a Divorce, but I Don't. Now What?!

In episode 345, a couple is facing the enormous aftermath of pornography addiction, sexual betrayal, deception, failed disclosure, and trickle truth. The husband reports that he is now 18 months sober...

11 Elo 42min

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