#0290 - At Least You Didn’t Get Hit by an Airplane (Yet) - 12/29/2025

This episode opens in a post-Christmas fog where buttons don’t work, sleep doesn’t exist, and reality itself feels optional. Viktor drags himself into the studio running on fumes, Red Dead Redemption, and spite, immediately declaring war on Mondays, functional technology, and the concept of being awake before noon. From there, the show spirals into a deeply relatable yet feral rant about harmless habits society apparently judges too hard—napping, needing alone time, liking video games, going places alone—while Viktor openly admits he cannot attend a movie solo without instantly passing out like a tranquilized Victorian child. Things take a sharp left turn when a man in Salt Lake City decides the best way to get police help finding his dog is by smashing car windows at 4am and threatening arson, proving once again that “create a scene” is not actionable advice. The chaos escalates with stories of a neighborhood slowly being psychologically waterboarded by a Dunkin’ Donuts factory’s weaponized donut fumes, the tragic cancellation of Netflix’s The Talisman, and Viktor’s growing fear that AI, politics, and fake Lamb of God concerts are all merging into one cursed timeline. Freak News detonates with drunk Salvation Army bell ringers attempting kettle-based violence, a raccoon achieving folk-hero status after blacking out in a liquor store bathroom, and a man in Oakland running a vigilante squatter removal service armed with a literal ninja sword. As if that weren’t enough, the show devolves into a full-scale defense of Pocatello against internet slander calling it the “armpit of Idaho,” complete with crime stats, civic pride, homeless discourse, used needle debates, and the realization that nowhere in Idaho is even remotely Compton. Toss in lottery delusions, broken snowblowers destroyed by “brute strength,” AI rage, rent apocalypse, accidental soju poisoning, StubHub tricking metalheads into attending Christian Christmas concerts, and the comforting reminder that no matter how bad your Monday is, at least you weren’t hit by an airplane in a park—and you’ve got an episode that feels like yelling into the void while the void wins concert tickets and smells like donuts.